A little over a year ago, I experienced two firsts. One was the death of my father, the first time I lost a parent. The other first was the appearance of virtual lasagna on my Facebook wall. Yes, the two incidents go hand in hand as the virtual lasagna was sent to me by a ‘ friend’ who was trying to appease me. But you know what, there ain’t no meat in virtual lasagna.
Ain’t No Meat In Virtual Lasagna
I had been struggling with the a loss of my Dad of course, but more so I was struggling with the lack of phone calls (I received 1 phone call from someone offering their condolences) and the lack of flowers (my bestie was the only one who thought to bring me flowers) and just the general lack of care and affection I was receiving from friends and family. I thought to myself, and out loud to whoever would listen, “Come on people, my Dad just died, where’s the freaking lasagna?” It really was pathetic. I was feeling pathetic, like nobody cared. Grief is a strange animal. An all consuming, uncontrollable, gut wrenching, bone crushing animal. I found myself struggling to get through the moments, nevermind keeping the house clean and caring for the children. Forget work of any kind. I was hanging on by a thread. A thread that was strung so tightly it would snap at any given moment. And snap it did, when that first image of virtual lasagna landed on my Facebook wall. And let me tell you, Virtual Lasagna ain’t got no meat in it.
The virtual lasagna had absolutely no comfort in it. It was a picture on my computer monitor that I could not smell, touch or eat. It didn’t make me think, “Oh, things will get better soon, my friends really care for me and will help me get through, this too will pass.” It made me think, “Well that’s classy.” And reminded me why it is I am so often a one woman show.
The virtual lasagna didn’t make life easier for even a minute. The idea with sending food to someone who has something great big going on is to ease their minds and give them a helping hand. Well, the virtual lasagna did not feed my family a nice easy supper. It only served to remind me how sad the macaroni and cheese I was preparing to serve really was, and again, how shitty it was that nobody had stepped up to help me.
The virtual lasagna did however show me who my real friends are – my bestie that came to spend the night with me and commiserate, as well as a group of my mom friends who put together a lovely selection of baked goods and a lovely supper, that would feed us for a couple days while recovering and recouping. And, of course, absolute love and a lifetime of servitude goes to my friend Sandra who basked us a REAL LASAGNA, with meat no less!