All my daughter’s friends tell me I’m the cool mom. I throw the best slumber parties, have the coolest nail art, and my hair is a different color every week. When my daughter asked to start her own YouTube channel, I was totally in to learn all things video and now she hosts a weekly show that kids at school beg to be on.
But here’s the thing… I don’t feel cool. I feel like I work all the time, sleep too much, and never have it together. Like, ever.
So what’s my secret? How do I trick all these kids into thinking I’m the cool mom?
- I go for it. Sure, throwing a slumber party for 13 first grade girls freaked me out. I mean, what if they cried for their parents, wet the bed, or projectile vomited all over me? (All three of those things have happened at least once at our slumber parties, by the way.) But I went for it and invited them over. They watched movies, giggled, danced, and had an amazing time. Now we throw at least three slumber parties a year, and they’re always totally awesome
- I don’t sweat the small stuff. So what if the beds didn’t get made or the dishes didn’t get done before friends came over? Who cares? It just means we had more time to dye my daughter’s hair into a rainbow or practice our minecraft creeper makeup.
- Speaking of makeup and hair dye— if you have girls, let them experiment. Let them wear ridiculous amounts of eyeliner around the house with red lipstick and hot pink blush. Yes, they will look ridiculous, but if you don’t keep makeup as this secret, sacred thing they aren’t allowed to touch until their teenage years, they will suddenly be a lot less into it.
- Share their hobbies. Kids are way into social media. Out of the last ten nine-year-olds that have been to my house recently, all ten of them have an Instagram account. I am the only parent that follows most of them, and I’ve caught them accidentally sharing their street signs, saying their full names in comments, talking about where and when their parents would be home, and I’ve taught them all how to be more responsible. I keep tabs on those kids and they’re none the wiser, because when I’m posting pictures of nail art or video game high scores, they think I’m one of them, so they keep me on the follow list.
- Let them come to you. This is probably the hardest thing of all. Because when my daughter is hanging out with her friends and they want to go chat it up in the game room or hang out sans parents, my gut reaction is to be all, “Well, if you don’t want parents around, then clearly whatever you’re planning here is against the rules.” But I’m almost always wrong. They just want privacy to chat about life and junk. And when I give it to them, they usually feel free enough to talk around me and even to me about all the things happening in their lives.
- Live your life, too. If you’re miserable and never do anything fun for yourself, then that just isn’t a very cool person in general. So make sure to take some time out to get a massage, watch your favorite show, or just eat a sandwich alone in the park. If you do, then your kids will see that you have things that make you a unique individual. Things that make you cool.
- Confidence. I strut it like I’ve got it even if I don’t. Like I said earlier, I totally don’t have it all together. But I pretend that I do and that’s what they see. They see someone they who made a career out of doing science experiments and telling stories about her life.
Just remember, you’re a cool mom because you’re you. Don’t stress, don’t yell, and remember that your kids want to think you hung the moon. Let them!
Oh, and if you want to be a fun mom, check this out:
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