“I Just Want To Eat You Up” And Other Totally Creepy Things Adults Say To Children…

Kids say the darnedest things, don’t they? But you have to wonder what kids think of the things We say to Them. Like, seriously, are we a bunch of psychopaths or something? Stealing kids noses, charging body parts for things, threatening to eat them. I never realized just how creepy some of the things I said to kids were until one of them started crying. I told her to ‘break a leg.’ How awful am I? Idioms are great, but when you think about some of the ones we say to kids, well, all I can say is I’m so sorry, kids. I swear we aren’t really going to do all these awful things to you. Here are some of the weirdest things we say to kids, because even though I was in hot water of the break a leg remark, I still just want to eat them all up. Enjoy!

“I Just Want To Eat You Up” And Other Totally Creepy Things Adults Say To Children…

1. I just want to eat you up.

Seriously, please, don’t.

2. Hey there, slugger!

I haven’t yet, but the day is still early…

3. Let me get those little toes.

Leave my toes alone!

4. I’ve got your nose!

Give it back, jerk!

5. You’re cute as a button…

Seriously, who thinks buttons are all that cute?

6. You’re gonna be in hot water!

And you wonder why I don’t like baths…

7. It cost an arm and a leg.

Could we maybe buy from places that don’t deal in body parts?

8. I’m all ears!

I thought there was something weird about how you looked…

9. Cat got your tongue?

When did that happen?!?

10. Break a leg!

Stop being so mean! I like my legs. And my toes..

11. I can eat a horse.

If you can eat a horse, what can you do to a kid!?!

12. Over my dead body

Aren’t those things supposed to be buried or something?

13. You snooze, you lose.

I’ll never sleep again.

14. When pigs fly!

And there goes my love of bacon…

15. This is bologna!

Is that where that smell is coming from?