It’s Time To End The Mom Wars!
I didn’t notice when Mommy Wars became a thing. It may have always been a thing…but I haven’t always been a Mommy, so there’s that.
People have been opinionated and right(eous) for a very long time, so maybe Mommies have been warring over who is doing it better for just as long. There is however no question that pontificating over mommy know-how and superiority from behind a key board and screen has upped the ante. People get braver and smarter when they can hide their face behind their devices, kinda like beer.
There are two types of people when it comes to the Mommy Wars. There are the Moms that are right and judgemental and will hold their ground and fight to prove their betterness even if it means arguing with complete strangers at the park over ‘sharing’ a shovel or a swing. And then there are the Moms who refuse to engage. They know the other Moms’ opinions are just that, opinions, and have absolutely no value to them, and mean very little in the big picture. These Non Warring Moms to date have refused to engage in battle. They ignore and shy away from the harsh criticism of other Moms, and don’t offer an opinion on anything parenting to another parent unless specifically asked. Until Now.
That’s Right. All of the Mommies engaging in battle with one another, trying to cut up and bring down other Moms because they do things differently than you, your time has come.
The Gig Is Up. You have battled with eachother over breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding. Cloth vs. disposable. Working vs. Stay at Home. You name it, you have found something to argue about. And until now the Non Warring Mommies have sat quietly by refusing to engage.
It’s All About Confidence. Those Mommies who refuse to participate in the wars have something others are longing for. Confidence. They are comfortable with themselves, and they get that everybody will do things differently. They know that basically all parents love and do their best to keep their babies safe. They know that when it comes to anything else, we are really all just winging it. And until now, they have kept to themselves.
All Confident, Friendly and Non Judgy Moms I am calling on You! I am not asking you to prove that your way of parenting is right. I am asking you to say, to warring mommies whenever you see or hear them, “please, no more warring. The war is over.”
Hi — I agree mostly with the Mom who’s been just that for 30 years. However, it’s really not just about lack of self-confidence and the need to be validated. Sometimes it’s just a mom speaks out and says what she feels. Nothing to be taken personally, no matter how she phrases it.
Really – we just need to step back and relax. If you prefer doing something a certain way, do it. If you find you want to do it another way (with kids, no two are exactly the same), do it that way and be brave enough to accept that there may be flack. No harm, no foul. Someone out there, be it another mom, your own mom or just a person who is trying to be helpful, there are comments. Think we’ve just gotten too overwhelmed by all the talk – on TV, on phones, via the internet. Relax and just be the best person you can be and that will also make you a better mom.Mar
I love your outlook!
I’ve been a mom for over 30 years. I think the outspoken, my children are better than yours, mom has always been. And, I think you are correct, it stems from a lack of confidence – maybe in themselves or in a need to be validated. I have found over the years that not engaging is the best defense. They don’t want to be convinced, they just want to prove you wrong.
Not engaging is a pretty safe policy 🙂