Seriously, Where The Fork Are All My Spoons?

It’s 2am. The entire house is asleep. The kids are tucked in their beds, Mom and Dad are snoring away in peaceful slumber, even the dog has made a cozy nest and is fast asleep. Night has fallen like a cozy blanket over the house, and the only sound is the air conditioner kicking on and the ice maker depositing half moons of ice in the waiting tray.

Unbeknownst to the sleeping family, a masked intruder is lurking on the back porch. He quietly tries the kitchen window. Locked tight. He tiptoes over to the back door, and tries the doorknob. Denied again. That’s okay, he knows what he’s doing. He makes a couple quick flicks with some metal sticks in the door lock, and he has the threshold breeched in a flash.

As he quietly opens the door, he tiptoes in and looks around. Is he looking for cash? Maybe expensive jewelry is his theft of choice. He could be heading into the front room for the TV.

No, he quietly turns and starts opening kitchen drawers. What is he looking for? One by one he silently pulls the drawers open, looks, and then quietly closes the drawer. He does this to several drawers before he stops. A smile spreads across his mask-covered face. He has found what he is looking for … Spoons!! He quietly takes about half of them, shoves them quietly into his bag, and then quickly departs the way he came in, leaving the kitchen looking untouched. There’s a smile on his face because he knows in the morning I’ll start yelling at my family, “SERIOUSLY! Where the FORK are all my spoons?” His job here is done.

Seriously, Where The Fork Are All My Spoons?

Why did he need spoons in particular? Why not knives or forks, or heck, why not the expensive espresso machine sitting in plain site on the counter? We’ll never know. It is a complete enigma.

I am purely speculating here, but I’m guessing this is the way it goes down, because ALL OUR SPOONS DISAPPEAR, and nobody in the family has any clue where they have gone.

Under the couch, on dressers, in the bathroom, under the kitchen table, in  cabinets, the refrigerator, heck I’ve even looked in the medicine cabinet in case I was sleepy and put them in the wrong place (not that I’ve ever done this with my keys or anything). The spoons are nowhere. My silverware drawer is overflowing with forks and knives. I may also have one-to-many vegetable peelers and paring knives. But spoons? I have like four.

Seriously, my spoons must fall into the same black hole where my single socks go. It could be the Bermuda Triangle has roots in my kitchen, gobbling up spoons to maintain its hold on my house. Maybe it’s a ploy by the makers of spoons to keep me coming back for more.

Whatever the case, every time I buy new spoons and bring them into the house, half of them disappear within a two-week period. Am I the only person that has this problem?

Throw your ideas about where all the spoons are disappearing to in the comments.