Sometimes I Think My Lizard is the Reincarnation of Jesus

Okay, let me clarify. My lizard is a badass.

How is this thing still alive?

He lives in our kitchen and eats meal worms. (shudder) And, I am the worst pet owner ever.

I am grossed out by forget to feed him, sometimes I forget to give him water, and I HATE cleaning out his cage.

But he is totally still kickin, and I kind of love the little booger.

When my daughter was about 18 months old, we went to visit my grandparents down on the farm.

She was instantly enamored with my grandfather and his cool horses, cows, and strawberries. (Seriously, he just has some strawberries growing on the ground next to his house.)

Well, they saw a lizard out in the yard, and he grabbed it to show her. She fell in love, and we brought Mr. Wizard back home with us in a pickle jar with holes poked in the lid.

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I am not a huge fan of things that are creepy or crawly.

They kind of stress me out. I was secretly hoping he wouldn’t make it home, and that we would just forget about him, but when I took the jar out of the truck, he was still going strong.

He lived in that jar a few days, we fed him a mosquito or something, and I decided he needed to get his own cage, so I fixed up something called a vivarium and Mr. Wizard the lizard had a home.

I remember back in high school, someone told me that you should always stop and help people on the side of the road because it might be Jesus in disguise.

Man that totally stressed me out, because it went directly against my dad’s rules of don’t ever stop for anyone ever no matter what is going on.

Well, I decided that even if it was Jesus on the side of the road, he would probably want me to listen to my dad, and I still don’t stop for people on the side of the road, although if they look like they need help, I have called the local police for them.

Well, I sometimes think about this with my lizard.

What if Jesus is inside my lizard somehow and I have him living in a glass box and forget to feed him?

Man I am so screwed in the after life.