15 Retro Snacks You’ll Never Be Able to Eat Again

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Ever find yourself reminiscing about your favorite childhood snacks, only to realize they’re nowhere to be found on grocery store shelves anymore? It’s like one day they were there, and the next – poof! Gone. Sometimes, you wonder if they were a figment of your imagination. But, no. Those neon-colored, sugar-packed bites were real, and they were glorious. As kids, we didn’t care about things like “nutritional value” or “calories” (what even is a calorie?). We just knew that if it turned your tongue blue or made your teeth stick together for hours, it was a win.

The thing is, most of these snacks probably wouldn’t hold up to adult scrutiny. Would you really eat something shaped like a foot or named after a fictional monster now? Probably not. But back in the day, it felt like there was a competition to see who could pack the most sugar into the smallest snack. The result? A long list of treats that were, at best, chemically questionable. And let’s be honest, even though we miss them, our bodies are probably better off without them.

Dunkaroos

dunkaroos
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Ah, Dunkaroos. You can still hear the jingle, can’t you? A tiny packet of kangaroo-shaped cookies and an equally tiny pool of frosting for dipping. It was a sugar rush in snack form. You’d finish the cookies long before the frosting, leaving you with an awkward dilemma: should you scoop the frosting with your finger or just eat it straight out of the container? Decisions, decisions.

Ecto Cooler

green drink
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Remember when Hi-C went full Ghostbusters on us and gave us Ecto Cooler? It was a bright green citrus punch that made you feel like a member of the Ghostbusters squad. Sure, it tasted like orange juice that went rogue, but that radioactive hue kept you coming back for more. Unfortunately, this glowing concoction faded into obscurity once the Ghostbusters hype died down.

PB Crisps

peanut
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Imagine taking peanut butter, stuffing it into a crunchy cookie shell, and calling it a snack. That’s exactly what Planters did with PB Crisps. They were weirdly addicting and felt like a genius invention. However, as with all good things, PB Crisps didn’t last long. Maybe they just flew too close to the peanut butter sun.

3D Doritos

chips
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Doritos, but make them 3D. That’s what we got in the late ’90s. These puffed-up, triangular snacks were fun to eat because they felt like they were breaking all the snack rules. They were crunchier, airier, and overall more exciting than your average chip. But, alas, they disappeared, leaving a 2D hole in our hearts.

Butterfinger BB’s

chocolate candy
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Why settle for a whole Butterfinger bar when you could pop bite-sized Butterfinger BB’s into your mouth like candy-coated nuggets of joy? These tiny chocolate-covered treasures were ridiculously addictive. But apparently, they weren’t popular enough to stick around, leaving many of us wondering why something so perfect could be taken away so soon.

Fruit String Thing

candy string
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Picture a fruit snack, but make it stringy and borderline unmanageable. That was Fruit String Thing. It was more about the experience of untangling and playing with it than actually eating it. A mess waiting to happen? Absolutely. But sometimes, the messier the snack, the more memorable it was.

Jell-O Pudding Pops

strawberry pops
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Once a lunchbox staple, Jell-O Pudding Pops were the perfect blend of creamy and cold. These frozen treats were a favorite, especially on hot summer days. But somewhere along the line, they just disappeared. The creamy, chocolaty goodness of a Jell-O Pudding Pop now exists only in our memories (and possibly some very old freezer stock).

Shark Bites

gummy snacks
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Shark Bites were the fruit snacks of your wildest ocean-themed dreams. Each gummy bite came in different colors, with the rare white shark being the ultimate prize. Getting a pack with multiple white sharks? Jackpot. Too bad we’ll never know that thrill again.

Surge

colored drinks
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Surge wasn’t just a soda—it was an experience. Neon green, sugar-packed, and with more caffeine than a kid probably needed, it was marketed as the ultimate drink for those who lived life on the edge. But like most things that are too good (or too unhealthy) to last, Surge faded into extinction.

Oreo O’s

oreo o's
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Who decided that breakfast should taste like dessert? Whoever it was, Oreo O’s were the result of that genius thinking. These cereal pieces tasted exactly like Oreos in crunchy form, and no one cared that eating them in the morning was basically like having cookies for breakfast. But, of course, all good things must come to an end.

Planters Cheez Balls

cheese balls
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If you ever wanted to coat your fingers in a neon-orange dust that would never fully come off, Planters Cheez Balls were your snack. These perfectly round, cheesy delights were the pinnacle of artificial snack innovation. But, for some unknown reason, Planters pulled them from shelves, leaving snackers everywhere with unfulfilled cheesy dreams.

Yogos

yogos
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Yogos were marketed as a “healthy” snack, but let’s be real—they were basically sugar-coated fruit snacks pretending to be nutritious. Still, those little yogurt-covered balls were oddly satisfying. They may have been disguised as a health food, but deep down, we all knew better.

Squeeze-Its

kid drinking juice
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Nothing said “childhood summer” quite like Squeeze-Its. These brightly colored juice drinks came in tiny plastic bottles that you squeezed to release the sugary goodness. The bottles were fun, the drinks were questionably flavored, but the overall experience was unforgettable. They’re gone now, but at least the memory of them lives on.

Altoids Sours

sour candies
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Altoids may be known for their breath-freshening mints, but at one point, they ventured into the world of sour candy with Altoids Sours. These tiny tins of face-puckering flavor were an instant hit, but somehow, they just didn’t last. Maybe the world wasn’t ready for something so boldly sour.

Pepsi Blue

blue drink
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Pepsi Blue was… well, it was blue. That was its main selling point. The flavor? A strange mix of berry and cola that no one quite understood, but everyone wanted to try. It didn’t last long, probably because people realized soda should not taste like candy. Still, for a brief moment, Pepsi Blue was the drink of choice for anyone who dared to be different.

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