Breast Is Not Always Best, And We Need To Stop Telling Women That It Is!
Breast is best. Almost from the moment you see those beautiful double lines, you start hearing that mantra. And you’ve seen research. Listened to friends. Had plenty of doctors tell you the same. Offices have lactation rooms.
Breastfeeding is legal in literally every single public space in America.
So why would so many people go through so much effort to educate you on the benefits of breastfeeding if it truly wasn’t the best option? And what about formula? Is it even safe to give babies formula? Why would any good mom give her child chemicals when breast is best?
Think baby formula is poison? Think again! The truth is chemically it isn’t much different than breastmilk, and when it comes to feeding babies, fed is truly what’s best.
Breast Is Not Always Best, And We Need To Stop Telling Women That It Is!
For most of mankind breastfeeding was the only option available for newborns. There was no debate on whether it was best, because it was all that was available. And while some advocates will tell you that what’s worked for thousands of years is still the best option today, that’s not actually the case.
For those thousands of years, there were still babies who couldn’t breastfeed. Those who didn’t die from starvation usually grew up malnourished or sickly. Their lives sucked because they couldn’t eat.
And I’m not saying breastfeeding is bad. Not at all. What I’m saying is that fed is best.
Sometimes women don’t produce enough milk, or the act of breastfeeding is so excruciating that it raises stress hormones in mom (which are also bad for the baby). Or in cases of foster children or adoption, breastfeeding isn’t an option. There are some babies who can’t tolerate breastmilk (I was one of them) and alternatives have to be found.
Because when we don’t look at alternatives, the unfathomable will happen.
We’ve indoctrinated our society into believing breast is the only option to the point that sometimes new mothers can’t even tell when their own baby is suffering.
Jillian Johnson is a mom who experienced that first hand. When her new baby Landon was born, she wanted to do everything right for him. And that meant breastfeeding. At the hospital the lactation consultant assured her his latch was great. She fed constantly, did everything she was told to do. But Landon cried. All the time.
Within 24 hours of being discharged from the hospital, Landon went into cardiac arrest. He was severely dehydrated and as a new mom, Jillian had no way of knowing that her son truly was not receiving Any milk during all the times he fed. Landon died at 19 days old from starvation…one bottle…one single formula-filled bottle would have meant the difference between life and death for a little boy who would be five years old today.
But formula is poison, right? Truly, it is not.
The chemicals that make up baby formula are as closely paired to the chemicals found in breastmilk as possible. And while there are some benefits to breastfeeding, those benefits do not outweigh the need to make sure a child is fed and growing. Ultimately shouldn’t that be the big goal?
Over the past couple of decades breastfeeding has become big business, and corporations have cashed in by not only promoting products and supplements to make breastfeeding easier, but also by regurgitating hand-picked pieces of data to support their stance, rather than educating women on the full picture.
So women have done everything they could to fall into rank. There have been women who fed around the clock, women whose exhaustion caused them to fall asleep on top of their babies.
There have been women who spiraled into post-partum depression due to not being able to give their children their basic birthright.
And women like Jillian whose children suffered unnecessarily because they believed breastfeeding was the only option.
Again, I’m not saying not to breastfeed. I’m not in anyway advocating for formula-only feeding. What I’m saying is that fed is best. Babies need to grow. For some women breast is best. For some formula is best. We need to take a step back and remind women that we will support them no matter which road they take. Their babies lives depend on it.
You’re an idiot.
They say this because it’s the best option for the nutrition and development of your baby. Breast milk far out weighs the health benefits of formula when it comes to the Heath and growth of your child. This phrase, “Breast is Best”, has nothing to do with the emotional capacity of the mother and everything to do with the needs of the child. If you feel like you can’t breast feed for any reason, be it pain or emotional discomfort, then don’t do it. But don’t go around misinterpreting things and crying because they don’t fit your narrative.
Formula is not poison and is an excellent option for women that can not or will not breastfeed for whatever reason. However, formula is chemically very different from breast milk. It is absolutely false to state otherwise. Posting falsehoods to either get money from formula companies or to pacify mothers isn’t fair to anyone.
The “breast is best” thing is true for most babies. If it is not possible then clearly it’s not the best option for that. Just because breastfeeding is the best option doesn’t mean that other options aren’t good. Are people really going around thinking babies are being poisoned by formula?
Artificial milk is not as good as breast milk. The body has produced it to feed the baby. Formula milk is artificial and man made , so I completely disagree with the statement saying that it is just as good because it is not. Formula milk flattens the little hairs in tha babies gut where as breast milk does not!
However I agree that in some cases people either chose not to or can not breasts feed in which case giving artificial milk is the next best thing. But it should never be said that artificial milk is the same as breastfeeding because it is completely different!
I’m sorry but I will have to disagree. I don’t judge those that chose to use formula, because I had to do both but, You body knows the baby better than any formula and can give your baby all the natural nutrients and antibodies that the baby needs. I think that natural is better than chemical any day
Formula company propaganda. I expected better from this page.
Formula can’t make antibiotics per say for baby when they are sick. Mothers milk changes daily to what the baby need. Breast is best!!
Absolutely!
Formula is absolutely not the same as breast milk. Why are you lying?
I saw that too. I can’t believe they can openly lie. It’s very sad. I understand wanting to support women who have been unable to breastfeed due to health reasons. But to lie about so many things in this article is wrong. There’s BIG MONEY in formula. This article looks like a formula sponsored lie fest. Sad.
This is exactly why more education and support is needed for breastfeeding mums, preferably given during pregnancy.Breastfeeding will always be best! It is biologically and individually tailor made for the baby and changes constantly feed to feed to meet their needs, no formula milk could ever do that as it’s dead not live.
And an other invalid point is, if we are talking about companies making moneh over breastfeeding… Well obviously other companies are making more money selling formula!
Ofcourse fed is the best and formula is not poison.. I agree on that, and I mix feed my baby because he is a hungry baby and I believe fed is the best. The moment I felt he needed it I gave him formula. But this articles arguments and facts are wrong, and it hurts the cause. First of all, I don’t know where you got your information but the chemical structure of formula and mothers milk are different. The composition of breastmilk changes as the baby develops and its even different for boys and girls, whereas formula is always the same. Secondly, I am very sorry for the loss of thag mother, but that’s obviously the failure of the health system not providing her with the necessary support. Because normally her doctor/nurse should have been monitoring the babies weight after birth. And thirdly breastfeeding is not just about nutrition, it’s also about bonding. I had never expected it bit as I breastfed my baby the amount of compassion that you feel towards your baby is magical. Breastfeeding should always be prioritized but when it doesn’t work ofcourse formula is a good option. Back in the days people used to live more like a community, so mothers who couldn’t breastfeed would pay other women to breastfeed their child. Nowadays there are milk banks that serve similar purpose.. Woman wbk cant breastfeed should never be judged, I know because I struggled with it a lot, but the points this article has are invalid..
Well said?
Love this article I have to say I almost went through the sane ordeal my motherly instinct kept telling me my baby is starving I know it and I would inform the rn that was in charge of me and they would avoid the subject of offering my baby some premade formula so the hours went by and I changed my sons diaper and his urine looked almost red in color i informed the nurse and she said its a sign of dehydrarion and all she said was try to have the baby latch more often so I did but as soon as I got home from the hospital I gave my son formula and he downed the 2 oz bottle
For all the women that do not support formula feeding: until you’ve struggled to breastfeed, despite trying everything under the sun to increase your breastmilk supply (including following recommendations of certified lactation providers and physicians), how about you stop judging the mothers that are unable to breastfeed and feed their babies the best they can.
Fed is best! Oh I wish I had heard this before I had my baby. I had a hard time breastfeeding but had been told over and over by people and my nurses that breast was best. Fast forward 8 weeks after birth and I had an unsteady milk supply and was in deep deep post partum depression. I called my doctor crying thinking I would be scolded for wanting to quit. Of course I heard the exact opposite. It was time to stop breastfeeding and to make sure I was taking care of myself too. I immediately stopped and I immediately felt better. I was able to enjoy feeding my son without endless pumping, nursing, and stress. He was born 3.5 weeks early and since his 4 month check up has been in the 90th percentile of babies 3 months older than him. He is growing happy and healthy. 🙂
Breast may be best for a lot of moms, but it was not best for me. Thank you for this article!
Personally, I wish I had been told MORE about breastfeeding before giving birth. I’d seen and heard far more support for formula feeding than breastfeeding, and I’ve not once heard formula called poison. Of course, fed is best, but if you’re comparing formula and breastmilk, breast is best. And it’s free! If there was more education and support for struggling mom’s, more women could feed their babies breastmilk. I wasn’t given much help from the lactation consultants at the hospital, believed I was doing all I could, and almost gave up on breastfeeding my little guy, but got lucky enoug to speak with an angel of a lactation consultant at his pediatric office. She told me what I could do differently and try that I hadn’t already. It’s been smooth sailing since then. The percentage of women who actually can’t breastfeed is small, something like less than 5%. We just don’t have enough education and support out there for it not to seem nearly impossible for many of us. Posts like this don’t help.
I don’t know where you live exactly, but in many parts of the United States formula is very openly bashed. I had much too much education on breastfeeding! I went to breastfeeding classes that were touted by the local hospital, I had multiple lactation consultants, had every possible bit of help I could have had breastfeeding and was made to feel as if I would be a complete failure and be poisoning my baby if I fed formula. My first son’s first month of life was literally the worst month of my entire life. I developed horrible postpartum anxiety, he lost nearly 2 pounds from birth and was very nearly failure to thrive. He was jaundiced. My pediatrician eventually told me that I absolutely had to give formula for his health. At that point he was crying day and night, we were literally up all night with him every night. I truly think my baby came close to starving. So while your experience may not have been everyone’s, this is a very real problem and I love this article for pointing it out.
The reason why breastfeeding is pushed so hard in the United States is because so few women breastfeed and science has shown that has led to poor outcomes. Other countries may not push breastfeeding as hard because it is the norm and formula is not used as much.
Thank you for this post!!! I was not able to breast feed and it has made me so upset but like you said fed is best I wanted to make sure he was getting enough nutrition! So horrible for the loss of that woman’s child 🙁
Here here! First baby didn’t produce milk so formula it was second baby I did but three months we are introducing formula as I’m so tired from pumping or breast feeding every three hours.
Encourage for fed or what’s best for the baby is great!
I’ve never left a comment on a Pinterest article before, but I feel very inclined to do so on yours.
Breast is best. There’s no way around it and your opinion is not fact. If every baby born got breast milk they would create a healthier generation than if they were all formula fed.
You say fed is best? You should also mention that there are women all over who donate pumped milk for mothers who can’t nurse. Our local hospital is now offering donated milk to preemies because they recognize how absolutely vital every single vitamin and antibody is for those vulnerable babies. How in the world could you insinuate that formula is the same as breast milk?
Again, breast is best. There are always ways to give your babies breast milk and those avenues should all be explored before using formula.
You do realize that she did say that she is only giving her opinion right? Her simple and obvious point was that, if you can’t breastfeed you’re not a bad mother, and that supplementing or exclusively formula feeding isn’t a bad thing. Perhaps you should re-read this article with a pair of unbiased eyes.
Agreed! And sort disgusted with this article “there’s not much difference between breast milk and formula”…..a HUGE uneducated statement to make! Especially this day in age when what’s on the shelf is laced with so many toxins. I agree that babies need food period but to be so bold with your title, it’s misleading whatever following you somehow got. The antibodies alone reason enough to decide breastfeeding is the best option. Quoted from LLLI and APA “Breast milk also contains a host of other immune molecules that also help protect your baby from germs. … His own immune system also develops more rapidly than does baby who is fed formula.” Please do online readers a curtesy of researching before you misspeak, MISLEAD, and misinform!
And your comment is precisely what is wrong with this world today. We all know that breast is supposedly best, but truly when you look at a five-year-old child is there any difference between breastfed and not? No. Zero. It is very important for moms to bond with their babies. Suffering through weeks of breastfeeding struggles is absolutely not worth the loss of love and closeness to one’s child. How very sad that you don’t understand how many women go through this. I fell into horrific postpartum anxiety after I had my first son. He was nearly failure to thrive and was jaundiced, and lost nearly 2 pounds after birth. My pediatrician looked panicked when I brought him in, and at that point he had been up literally day and night crying and crying and starving. He was two or three weeks old by then. I absolutely had to start formula or he would have been hospitalized. And donor milk is not always available, and was certainly not mentioned to me, that aside I would not feel comfortable giving my baby somebody else’s bodily fluids. I would much rather feed formula.
Due to that horrific experience I did not bond with my son until he was about 18 months old! Reread that, will you? EIGHTEEN MONTHS. If somebody had just told me I could give him formula when he was a few days old, that it wasn’t poison, that I wasn’t going to hurt him, I might have enoyed my oldest child’s infancy ?
And guess what? That boy is now six and is incredibly intelligent, has always been healthy overall, literally just took antibiotics for the first time EVER this month, and is a wonderful kid. Formula didn’t do anything “bad” to him. But that first year I will never get back.
Fed is best! Growing happy formula-fed baby is much better than fussy/failure-to -thrive/dehydrated breastmilk-fed baby and depressed mommy. And before anyone judges my comment, I am educated and well-aware of the numerous breastmilk benefits and have worked VERY hard to make breastfeeding work.
This article is absolutely true! Breast is not always best! I formula fed my babies and they were happy and good sleepers and they are healthy and grown and smart! My doctor told me formula was just as good. When there are mothers who are exhausted and depressed, that is definitely dangerous and not good for the baby. And it’s so nice to get a break and have your husband get to feed them. There’s nothing wrong with that and your baby will still bond with the mother. And did you not read that not all babies can handle breast milk? Don’t be so judgmental. You obviously were blessed that it worked out for you. But that is not everyone’s experience.
Hi there,
Three times breastfeeder here (last one till she was 3.5yrs) I see your point, I don’t think that she is disputing though that breast is best from a nutrition/chemical make up – I feel she is debating it from a fed or starving baby viewpoint).
I agree, having struggled with breastfeeding with my first how hard it can be. Breast in nutritionally best and there are a lot of qualities that are not so much nourishment related that make it the best for baby but even as an advocate for Breastfeeding (and I am – try facing off with grandma over feeding your 3.5 year old in a shopping Center) but I think that I have to agree if mum can’t or doesn’t want to breastfeed formula is a close second (when considering the options are cows milk, soy milk or death lol)
She would have written the piece to get some interaction on her blog, if leave it at that.
🙂
If a mom wants to use those avenues for her baby that’s wonderful that she has that option. However, the whole argument for breastmilk is that it is specific for YOUR baby so someone else’s milk may not be formula, but it’s not giving the baby the full benefit.
With that being said, all mothers deserve to enjoy their baby, if that’s having a breastfeeding baby that’s amazing and congratulations on creating that bond breast feeding is NOT EASY. You deserve mother of the year award!
But if enjoying your baby is not having to worry about taking a road trip because it might mess up your supply if you don’t pump every hour, if it’s being able to feed your baby exactly when they need it without running out of your frozen milk supply because your period shut down all of your milk. Then formula feed that perfect baby and enjoy the extra time you won’t be stressed out worrying about your damn supply.
All babies deserve love and attention, give breastfeeding the best shot you can, but if it doesn’t feel right to you, feed that babe formula. Fed is always best it doesn’t matter if its formula or breast. As far as I’m concerned all moms do a great job regardless. It makes me sad seeing some of these comments essentially bashing moms and their situations that they have no understanding of because each situation is different.
At the end of the day a happy mom is the best mom, mommas do what makes you your best mom self! Breastfeeders keep it up! Moms doing breastmilk and formula, you’re working the hardest keep it up. Formula moms, keep loving that baby, what you feed them now does not shape your relationship. You’re all perfect moms!
I am sorry but the number one thing that doctors ask and preach to watch and count are wet diapers which of they are not having he should have been taken to the emergency room. He should not have died from starvation if he was watch closely and I don’t think that would have caused hm to go into cardia arrest. I think you need to check facts. I do believe breast feeding if best for my children but this is one choice every parent needs to make on what they feel is best for their child. I don’t think I am better for breastfeeding my children than someone who chooses not to. If you look at facts and benefits of breast feeding I don’t know how you couldn’t try to make it work. But I also see how it is not for eceryone.
I agree. That poor baby died from neglect.
This is stupid. You don’t produce milk until after 3-5 days postpartum so if that boy went into cardiac rest 24hrs after birth it was not because the Mom dehydrated her baby. That’s just horrible and incorrect to say. Something else could have been going on but the mom not feeding her son enough was not it. You don’t even produce milk then! Stupid
Clearly you need to read this over!! Within 24 hours of being DISCHARGED from the hospital, Landon went into cardiac arrest. He was severely dehydrated and as a new mom, Jillian had no way of knowing that her son truly was not receiving Any milk during all the times he fed. Landon died at 19 DAYS old from starvation
I don’t usually comment either but breastmilk IS best. I’m very blessed to have 1 baby formula free and currently breastfeeding baby #2. And yes, it’s hard and you have to be committed. Always will be. But Breastmilk isn’t static, contains over 400 ingredients, antibodies, the perfect amount of nutrition that can never be duplicated. A new mom doesn’t produce milk for at least 36 hours if not up to 72; instead the baby nurses colostrum that is made during pregnancy. COUNT DIAPERS!! That tells you if your baby is getting what they need. Even if a mother can’t get her baby latch, isn’t making enough milk (which is probably because she’s not feeding enough- wake your baby up every 3 hours at least for 6 weeks people!), even some breast milk is better than none if you have to supplement with formula. And babies want to nurse! It’s bonding and brain growing.
Bonding and brain growing? Really? I’m sorry, my little formula fed children have a low IQ and I’m not close with them at all. SMH.
What an ignorant human you are. Read my comment above again, there is MUCH too much pressure in women to breast-feed. When you look at an older child you will never ever know if they were breastfed or not. It’s a breastfeeding mom’s way of controlling things and making them think they are better than others. It truly is, I know both breastfed and formula fed kids and there is zero difference between them.
Thank you so much for your article! We have been programmed to believe that we have to be perfect mums and that anything less than is out of the question. Fed is best!
My milk didn,t come in until ten days after baby was born and for two days in the hospital she cried constantly and I had a meltdown- no, there was no one with me to help- that,s our public healthcare system.
The first thing I did when I got home was to feed her formula and she ate about 2 oz, way more than was expected for a newborn. So I went half and half for about 3 months, while constantly hearing– oh, you have to breastfeed and don,t you dare give her formula because formula is toxic- was I suppose to let the kid starve?. But even when the milk did come, it came slowly so it meant at least an hour of just feeding the baby and doing nothing else every 2 hours. It was exhausting and there was no actual bonding with the baby when feeding. I also noticed that whenever I gave her mostly breast milk she would get colicky (probably coincidence, but still).
She actually decided to give it up and at about 2,5 months it had become a struggle to get her to latch because of course she preferred the faster method, the bottle. The extra time I saved by not constantly worrying about how much she was getting and the quality of milk -because you have to be careful what you eat, too-, faster feeding time, helped me get over my depression and got us to have a wonderful relationship.
Sure, maybe formula can,t supplement natural antibodies, but a stressed and badly fed mother isn,t going to produce the best milk either, even though she can produce. When you categorically say breast is best you make women feel guilty and don,t even acknowledge that even you, the breastfeeding mum, may be required to give your kid extra vitamins and supplements because your milk just isn.t the best- it can,t be because (for eg) we can,t produce enough vit D and there is no shame in that (yes, I know that you have to give vit D to a bottle fed baby too, but some do contain it).
For all the mothers who do breastfeed- I have the out-most respect, because I know how hard it is. But we, the ones who choose not to breastfeed do it because that is the BEST option for us and our baby.
Amen and well said. I did not really want to breastfeed, but like you said it is pushed on you. Thankfully, sort of, I am one of the women who never really develops a lot of breast milk. None of the women in our family do. We have had decades of formula babies. All healthy and happy. Since I knew my mom and grandmother had experienced this, I did know to look out for it. Also, I had C-sections and was much to sore to support a child to allow them to breastfeed comfortably. It all worked out for me but this article needs to go viral.
How fascinating! I didn’t know there were other families out there like this. Neither of my grandmothers breastfed–they couldn’t. One’s doctor told her that her milk was no good–and the other had four kids within four years, so she couldn’t, and not only that she never made enough. So when my turn came, I wasn’t surprised. I have had four kids. Have NEVER made enough milk, and I tried EVERYTHING. I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t doing it wrong. I just don’t make much milk. I am on meds with my fourth child and am not allowed to breastfeed, and I don’t find it a coincidence that he’s the happiest one of my kids–the only one who didn’t scream for the first three months of his life (the time I would move to formula with the others, incidentally). No, formula is not breastmilk, and not even close to the same. But what was I supposed to do, let my kids starve to death? Yes, because then all the self-righteous “you’re lazy because you’re not breastfeeding” people would surely be proven right. There is a LOT of pressure to breastfeed only. I am just glad that people up here are understanding if you choose not to.
Honestly I was instantly distressed by the title of this article but out of interest sake I decided to give it a read anyway. I do agree with the fact that there are circumstances when a mum just isn’t able to breastfeed and in that case finding alternatives are a must just to fed the baby obviously. But I disagree with mums not even trying to breastfeed out of fear of all the instances mentioned in this article. Breast milk contains everything your child needs and magicaly changes when your baby needs a little extra something, it contains natural antibodies which help ur baby fight colds and things which formula does not have. I breastfed and gave my babies formula when it became too painful to continue. I would never ever judge a mum for using formula, but breast IS best, unless or until you physically can’t. It’s also free. I appreciate your article as we all have our own opinions and I like to be educated on opinions other then my own. Thank you.
Breast IS best. What women need to feel is no guilt when, for whatever reason, they can’t, that there are good, healthy alternatives. Women, esp mothers who are doing their best, need to stop feeling guilty. Period!
But you just did the exact same thing you spoke against in your statement. Just with your first sentence. No, breast isn’t honestly best. What’s BEST is a well fed and healthy baby. This whole ‘breast is best’ is what has shamed moms into some very scary and ultimately heartbreaking, devastating situations, such as infant starvation and death. As moms there is absolutely no reason to add to that guilt. That one statement does it right there sadly.
This is like saying that feeding you kids McDonald’s everyday is just as good as feeding them a balanced diet. Both will keep them alive, but one is clearly better. There is plenty of evidence to support the benefits of breastfeeding. There’s nothing wrong with saying that breast is best. It’s factually true. Formula doesn’t contain antibodies and antibodies will always be better than none. Fact. Formula is fine, but its factually not as good as breast milk. What is wrong is women feeling guilty for not being able to give their babies the best. As mother’s we won’t always be able to give our kids the absolute best, and that is okay and shouldn’t be a source of guilt. I will never be able to give my kids the absolute best of everything, but they will get what they need, and that is fine. We need more understanding that breastfeeding is not always an option and to not judge women who can’t breastfeed, not a blind denial of the facts and scare mongering about starving babies with breastfeeding. Just because two things are both absolutely fine, doesn’t mean one can’t be better. That’s just stupid. Just because someone can’t give their child the best, shouldnt be a cause for judgement. With formula you are not giving your child the best, but it is getting what it needs and that’s what’s important.
Do not, I repeat do NOT, compare my formula fed children to children fed McDonald’s every day. My boys are healthy, smart, bright, beautiful children. Additionally we are a very health-conscious family. How would you feel having that said about your children? It is people like you that make women push so hard to breastfeed that they literally starve their babies! I almost lost my son after birth. He was jaundiced and sickly. I didn’t bond with him until he was well over a year old. Do you know how painful that is? And if people didn’t say crappy things like you said above maybe women wouldn’t fall into a pit of despair and try so hard to breastfeed that they ruin not only their relationship with their child but also endanger their child’s well-being.
What a dumb comparison of McDonalds! Formula is in no way comparable to McDonalds! Read about formula and get you facts straight!
I just have to add, I had my first son when I was 20 years old I was young and in the military and could not breatfeed because of my job and all the chemicals I worked around so I decided to formula feed him. Fast forward 13 years I had 2 more kids, both breasfeed and when I was at work I pumped. My second was breastfed for 13 months and my 3rd is going on 9 months. Let me just say…… My formula fed son has Rarely gotten sick, the worst that has happened to him is he has an ear infection when he was 2. That’s it!!! My 3 year old…. OMG in and out of clinics and hospitals and my 9 month old has been admitted to the hospital once for 3 days and has gotten 3 ear infections. I feed them upright, I was my hands making sure I don’t touch their mouths, obsesively clean etc etc. All have gone or go to daycare so the breast is best because of antibodies bit…. I am not buying it. As long as babies are happy and healthy that is all that matters.
It could be what you eat as well. What you put in your body can affect theirs. Your formula fed child avoided that but your breastfed don’t. What you eat matters too. Just because you are not sick often doesn’t mean your child isn’t affected. You body has had years to strengthen theirs have not. Just saying..