Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

In college I knocked ’em back. Thursday nights meant hanging out at the bar, and waking up so hungover on Friday I didn’t make it to any of my morning classes. Who am I kidding? I didn’t even have any morning classes. But now. Now I am a mom, and I work a lot and …

Lately there has been a huge push for girl’s weekends and to find a great best friend you can talk about anything with. Every article I read, every time I log onto Facebook, best friends are tagging each other, planning a GNO (that’s girl’s night out) or talking about how much fun they have without …

My best friend and I met because our daughters were in first grade together. They started playing together, and begged us to meet. We actually ended up bumping into each other at the craft store. Our kids were ecstatic, and we made a play date for them to hang out ASAP. When she dropped her …

When she started her first day of kindergarten, I was too excited for her to be sad. I love school so much, and I was so happy she got to experience it. But high school? High school is a different story. There’s a secret facebook group for all the freshmen parents at my daughter’s school. …

It seems like yesterday my daughter was three years old. She turned 14 back in June, and I have to be honest… I have no idea if I am raising her the right way. My whole goal in life is to raise her to be a good, kind person. To help those in need, and …

This year Starbucks is launching their pumpkin spice latte in AUGUST. That’s right, I SAID AUGUST. The Pumpkin Spice Latte is launching August 28 this year. How is that even a thing? Why is it that we are always in such a hurry to get to fall? Why are people pushing summer away like it’s …

I am a plus size girl, I’ve been plus size since the tenth grade. This is who I am, and while I’m constantly working on my size, I try really hard not to let it hold me back.  I take selfies, I take pictures with my family, and I post them on the internet. When …

People all think that divorce happens quickly, all at once. And I can understand why it seems that way.  So many people who’ve been through a divorce can pinpoint an exact moment that their marriage ended. A moment in time that changed their life forever.  But it doesn’t work that way at all. There a …

Fireworks are fun for most people (remember to check in on war veterans, though) but for dogs, they basically spend the entire evening thinking they are going to die. According to the American Kennel Society, more pets go missing during 4th of July festivities than any other time. It makes sense, really. Dogs have no …

If you have a vacation itinerary, a guide book and have researched more than three days for your upcoming vacation, you need to calm down.  I get it, you’re in a new place, you have a limited amount of time, and you want to go and see and do as much as you can, but …

I was so scared to turn 40. It seemed so old to me. FOUR DECADES is a lot of decades. You know? I was so wrong. I have never been more wrong about anything in my life. Being 40 is exactly like being 20, except you have all your crap together. Why do I love …

When marriage counselors were asked to anonymously answer the question, “What are the most common mistakes couples make?” Things got interesting. They had a lot of marriage advice to give. I know I learned a thing or two. Here are the Most Common Mistakes Married Couples Make According to Marriage Counselors Expecting partners to be …

Somehow somewhere it became a badge of honor to not get your kid a cell phone. Parents everywhere are lying about how much time their kids spend on technology every day. They are all shouting from the rooftops that they aren’t getting a phone until their kids are old enough to pay for it themselves …

There are some things in life that we just know to be totally and unequivocally true, and one of those is that you must, at all costs wash your raw chicken. Or at least that’s what we thought, until the CDC sent out this tweet letting us all know that we needed to stop washing …

Pool Noodles are cool and all, but it also turns out they are a haven for snakes and you need to get rid of them RIGHT NOW. You know those holes in the middle of your pool noodles? The ones you like shoot water out of at your kids? Well, according to the Buckeye Police …

A great way to craft an amazing beer is to start the process yourself from scratch. You can grow your own beer garden at home to enhance the flavor of your home brewed beer. This is also a way to make very unique flavors that only you can replicate! Because, clearly, it’s more fun to …

When Delish posted this insta post, they just wanted to know how you took your coffee. What they didn’t know was that people feel very very strongly about how strong they take their coffee, and as far as everyone is concerned, their way is the best way. You see, here’s the problem, A1 isn’t even …

If you aren’t from Texas then you don’t know about our insane tradition where we spend the months of March and April pulling over on the side of the highway to take pictures of our kids and pets frolicking in the blue bonnet “fields” And by field, I literally mean the side of the road. …

Is it safe to shower during a thunderstorm? Turns out it’s not an old wives tale. My mom would never let us do dishes or take a bath during a thunderstorm. She wanted us to avoid a lightning injury, and I always thought she was crazy, but she was right. Oh, and you shouldn’t wash …

Leggings are pants, and women should be allowed to wear whatever they want. I’ve been fighting that battle for a while, but this mom disagrees. Maryann White wrote a letter to the editor at Notre Dame’s school paper asking the women on campus to “choose jeans” instead of leggings the next time they go shopping. …

What are bathtub trays for anyway? Every time I tell people I prefer baths to showers they look at me like I have two heads. I once tried to sell a house that had no shower in the master bathroom and everyone thought I was completely insane. What that has taught me is that nobody …

I wake up to my alarm going off. After a night of getting up to go pee THREE TIMES in between fits of dreams and semi-sleep, it’s time to start my day. I stretch in my bed, and notice the first twinges of pain in my back. Reluctantly I stand up to start my day. …

Maybe you’ve spent your entire life wanting to be a Disney Princess, maybe you just want to make a full time salary for part time work. Either way, I just found your DREAM JOB. A British family is hiring a part time nanny to dress as a Disney Princess and take care of their 5 …

You know, childbirth is a crazy thing, but when you are giving birth to a kid that weighs 15 pounds, it’s pretty much terrifying. This beautiful 15 pound 5 ounce, 23.2 inch long bundle of joy, Harper Buckley, was born in Upstate New York earlier this week and is more than twice the size of …

There are just some days I need more motivation than usual to get through the span of 24 hours. Monday seems to be that day for me, but really, it could be any day of the week. Sometimes I need to hold hands and sing kumbaya with Motivation just to survive the onslaught of daylight …

The day started out just like any other boring, routine day. I got up, made my coffee, cringed at my sleepy reflection in the mirror, had a piece of toast, and dreaded everything I had to do on my “DO IT” list. No biggie, just a normal weekday. As I shuffled, still half asleep, around …

I really have no words. So, a mother left her baby at an airport (allegedly). She boarded a plane, got nice and comfortable in her seat, and the plane took off. I mean … is that something you just forget? The mother, whose name we don’t know, was on a Saudi Arabian Airlines flight bound …

Let me start off by saying I love my husband and I am so lucky to have found this great man. Now that I got that out of the way, I can start my story. I am almost as much a movie/TV fanatic as I am an obsessed book lover (notice the word almost), so …

I have a shameful admission to make: I don’t like Girl Scout Cookies. I think Samoas might be the Pumpkin Spice Latte of the cookie world. It’s not that it’s so good, you just can’t get it all year long. Does anyone really like Thin Mints, or do we all just pretend so we don’t look …

Depression is a real thing. It is more talked about lately than ever before, and the negative stigma surrounding finally appears to be lifting. It is no longer a taboo topic, and it is openly discussed. I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression, my father immediately shushed me like I’d said a bad …

As a former kindergarten teacher, I know what I am about to say is going to upset quite a few teachers, but I don’t care. I am saying it anyway. TEACHERS NEED TO STOP TELLING KIDS THEY CAN’T GO TO THE BATHROOM. I don’t care if little Jimmy has been nine times in the last …

When I was a little girl, my mom watched General Hospital every single day. She never missed it– from Luke and Laura’s wedding to Sonny and Carly/Brenda. Soap operas were not at all child appropriate, yet our parents didn’t seem to care. What I want to know is, when did moms trade in their soap …

I love Pineapple. So much that I eat it until my mouth hurts. But it turns out I’ve been eating it completely wrong, and I can’t get over how freakin’ awesome this is. You can get this pineapple shirt in our store! The thing about pineapple is it’s SUCH a pain to cut up and …

Years ago, before my divorce, my mother was my closest friend. We talked every day, for at least an hour. When I taught school, I had a commute. I called her every single day and she kept me company through it. I couldn’t even tell you what we talked about. When I think about it …

I will never forget drinking that awful sugar sludge when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a LOT of trouble keeping anything down, and I had to retry on the Glucose three different times. And now, according to this study, there’s actually an alternative to drinking the glucose, and it’s awesome! JELLYBEANS! I …

Most people think of PTSD as a condition for veterans of war, but these mothers are shattering the stereotype. They want people to know that you can get post traumatic stress disorder from a number of things, including childbirth. Their road isn’t easy, but it’s definitely inspiring.

St. Patrick’s Day. Ah, that day full of all-things Irish, leprechauns, clovers, pots ‘o gold, and copious amounts of alcohol. A time to eat corned beef and cabbage, drink green beer, and dance around like no one is watching. You send your kids off to school wearing the mandatory green shirt, you hit up the …

Infidelity. It sucks. It feels like your insides are being ripped out. It is the absolute worst feeling there is, and it happens more than we would like to think. Nobody thinks it will happen to them, until it does. Then your world is forever changed, and you have to make big decisions you never …

“What did you throw away from your lunch today,” I ask my kids as a daily ritual when they get home from school. “I don’t like crackers anymore,” declares my daughter. “I only threw away the carrots and banana,” my son says, like it’s no big deal. This is a daily battle for us. Yes, …

One of the things I promised myself I would do this year is make more friends. I had no idea how hard making adult friends was going to be. I spend a ton of time holed up in front of my computer writing. Most of the time working from home is a good thing, but …

I have a daughter and she’s perfect. She does all the right things. She is obedient. She is mindful and kind. She plays nicely with friends. My son, on the other hand, is a stinky whirlwind of destruction. He’s a great kid but he does stupid things. His friends do stupid things. Boys are a …

My husband and I don’t really do lovey gifts. Valentine’s, anniversary, whatever. He doesn’t care if he gets a gift on Valentine’s Day. I used to care. A lot. Mostly because I’d been taught to care. All those TV sitcoms where the goober of a husband forgot a special day and had to scramble to …

“I’m gonna get a pic of me breastfeeding put on a baby blanket so when someone asks me to cover up they still get to see me breast feed.” This is from Whisper. For more awesome stuff just like this, download the Whisper app for your phone here.

When it comes to children, some people love to give parents (experienced and new) their own advice on how to better raise the children, regardless if they themselves have any children of their own. Watching someone else try to parent your own kid while you’re doing the best your best job can be very infuriating, …

Last week, one of my random “friends” on Facebook that I haven’t actually seen since high school posted something crazy political and polarizing. I was disgusted! So I did what any social justice warrior worth her salt would do, I launched into a diatribe about just how wrong they were, how ridiculous and uneducated they …

I am super clumsy. So clumsy, in fact that I have broken my feet. That’s right. I didn’t break just one foot, I broke both of them– at different times. The first time was when I fell into a koi pond. (Yes, they go after you like you’re fish food when you first fall in, …

I am a busy mom. I work full time and my kid does a lot of stuff. From sun up to sun down– and even after that– it seems like we are going non-stop. Which means I forget about my friends. A lot. It isn’t fair to them, and it isn’t fair to me. My …

This is something that happens as we get older, have kids on our own, and are actual responsible adults that can make decisions in the case of an emergency.

Postpartum depression sounded to me like something to make you sad. Wasn’t depression when you couldn’t get out of bed? I had to get out of bed. If I didn’t, who would protect my baby?

Forgiveness is one of those things that makes you seem like the bigger person, like you are the one that is willing to forgive and forget and just move on from whatever has happened.

Don’t eat hotdogs. I know that sounds completely ridiculous, but nitrates and salt are big migraine triggers.

I love Christmas. It’s happy and beautiful and festive. But what I really love is getting my house back after the holidays are over. I love the clean, open feeling when I take down all the decorations. It’s like a new beginning for a new year.  The first year my husband and I were together, …

And it means tonight they will celebrate Christmas without me. The holidays are tough when you’re estranged from your parents. Every year around Thanksgiving, I start to get anxiety, and it doesn’t end until December 26th.

I am a working mom. One that always gets asked, “How do you find the time to do it all?” And most of the time I smile or laugh, but never answer the question. But not today, today I am spilling all the secrets. Time Management for Busy Moms Time management isn’t what everyone always …

Baby safety is one of those things that everyone can agree on. In that it’s important to keep babies safe.

HOW you should keep those babies safe? Well, that’s a different story,

Over the last few weeks I’ve become a mostly stay-at-home-dad. I’ve been working two, maybe three days a week while my wife is crushing it in her new, fancy accounting job. When my better half and I switched roles, I knew I’d keep busy. I’ve got rooms to clean, and endless stream of laundry to …

I’ve been divorced five years. That’s half as long as I was married. So I thought it might be time to start dating again. But my daughter is fifteen. And this means she’s dating, too. So, yes. That means my daughter and I can go out on a double date. Look, we’re not actually going …

We should have locked the door. But we didn’t. We should have waited until we were sure he was asleep. But we didn’t. My tween walked right in on us, and I am not even sure he looked up. “Mom, my ear hurts…” And that’s when my husband jumped off of me in a move …

For the majority of us, work is an occasionally awesome but mostly unfortunate fact of life that we just have to deal with. Why would you want to sit at a desk when you could be sipping Mai Tais on a beach somewhere? If you’re lucky enough to work from home, then you have a …

It can be really hard to make the most of your summer when it’s super hot outside and no one feels like leaving the comfort of the A/C. Let’s face it, we’re all pretty lazy, which is a shame because having the kids home from school all summer is the perfect time to introduce them …

If you peeked into my underwear drawer you would find exactly one wired bra, but it’s the one bra I refuse to wear. The only time I put that thing on is in the case of an end-of-the-world emergency, like when all my other bras are in the laundry and I don’t want to venture outside …

Excuse me a second while I take some medicine and blow my nose. I don’t know where you live, but it’s cold season here. It’s that season where you pile on some warm, comfy pajamas and curl up on the couch. Season 3 of Gilmore Girls isn’t going to watch itself. Maybe take an hour-long …

This weekend we’re getting ready to visit my future mother-in-law. These trips are always a nice break from the every day for us, but they also highlight one rather crucial shortcoming in my life: I am not a cleaner. I don’t do the dishes after every meal. I do not sweep daily. I do not wash, dry, hang or …

It’s tough to find good friends as adults and it’s even tougher to find adults we actually trust with our children. So many times, we think we have found the perfect people. We get to know them, spend time with them, dinners, park play times. It takes a lot of time to build up trust. …

Tonight my daughter told me she hated me. She screamed it, in fact, before flipping her hair and marching upstairs to her bedroom. The door slammed and while part of me wanted to run after her and talk to her, I knew the best thing would be to give her time to cool down. My …

Over and over I’ve seen other moms talk about their stretch marks as ‘tiger stripes’, ‘warrior scars’, ‘hope wounds’, but I hated mine. And the worst part was I couldn’t tell anyone how much I hated them. I remember starting the conversation with a friend of mine. “I had the baby and now my skin …

I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for love. I appreciate both the grande gestures that take immense planning and the small gestures that may simply come in the form of hand holding or brushing a stray hair out of a …

Seems like a great concept: every year as we put away our Thanksgiving platters, and take out our Christmas tree, we think about the Elf and all the merriment he’ll bring our children in December. We plan his pranks, and antics – the blue milk, the tiny sooty Elf footprints leading away from the fireplace. …

One of the hardest things about being someone who does direct sales is how to stay out of Facebook jail. What is Facebook Jail? It’s when your facebook profile can’t like, comment, post or go live on Facebook. A lot of times it happens suddenly and without warning, and Facebook never gives you a reason …

We all know the things we say matter, but sometimes in the heat of it we say some things that are hard to take back. Today I was at the grocery store when I heard a fed-up mother yell at her kids to, “Shut the h*ll up.” I get it. We’ve all been frustrated and …

We’ve all seen her: the frazzled mom who has too much going on and is pushing a baby in a stroller and has no hands left for anything. Then, the baby spits out the pacifier. What does mom do? Picks it up, pops it into her own mouth, and gives it back to baby. So. …

I have always been curvy and well endowed gal: a habitual “yo-yo dieter”/fad dieter. I always felt bigger than I was when I was younger. Never a size 6, always around 10…and in school that was huge in my mind. I realize that I was usually the only one that it bothered. If I’d known …

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, I’m probably not going to tell you anything new, but being a stay-at-home mom can suck. Don’t get wrong, tending to home and family is rewarding both emotionally and spiritually. Plus, you get to binge watch GLOW while you Pledge the china cabinet. But there is a lot more that …

Breast is best. Almost from the moment you see those beautiful double lines, you start hearing that mantra. And you’ve seen research. Listened to friends. Had plenty of doctors tell you the same. Offices have lactation rooms. Breastfeeding is legal in literally every single public space in America. So why would so many people go …

We’ve always been told to ‘never judge a book by it’s cover’. Covers can be elaborate, plain, some are so beautiful and some are completely unattractive to the readers eye. Some have very little color, but it’s what’s in the book that matters. Even the most attractive cover can be the worst read and the …

It’s like a daily issue where something, and I mean SOMETHING goes weird. Us moms just seem to have those moments where we can’t find our keys just magically find them in the refrigerator or we can’t remember if we turned off our curling iron before we left home. And those moments cause so much …

When I was 12, if anyone had called me “Grace”, it would have been entirely ironic. I was as klutzy as a newborn giraffe and literally broke every single thing I touched. I never got better. Over the years, I have come to terms with my personal lack of coordination, but there are certain things …

I am the queen of negative self talk. I can find things about myself and talk myself into a feeling of self pity in less than two seconds. I could list a plethora of things I say to myself all the time, but I’m going to stick to five of the main ones. Here are …

Look, if you’re female and have a uterus that still does it’s monthly molting, you’ve been here. There’s just nothing worse than being a tough-ass woman 90% of the time, and then having those one or two days a month where you’re tearful for no flecking reason and then “IT” starts. Yeah. We’ve ALL been …

Babies breathe weird. Sometimes it is literally impossible to tell if they’re breathing at all. I, like most moms, have experienced that momentary freak out in the middle of the night while my face is shoved straight into baby’s bassinet to find out if she’s alive. Sometimes, when she takes a nap during the day, …

My whole life I have tried to be the perfect person. In second grade, I was the math whiz who only missed one question the entire year. In fourth grade, I was hated by the teacher, because I was so far ahead of her class, she had to find random things for me to do. …

How do you let go? How do you know when you’re kids are ready for more responsibility and how do you become ok with it? Who really knew the ache and pride felt as your children grow. There is a part of me that feels so me embarrassment in admitting that I’ve been a helicopter …

When I was a kid, my dad scared me like nothing else. Grown-ups might as well have been gods for all the unquestionable authority they held. Parents, teachers, cops, pastors, random strangers at the grocery store who felt it was okay to pat me on the head because I was so damn cute. Grown-ups looked …

If you are a stepparent then you can completely understand what I mean when I say that being a stepparent isn’t something everyone can accomplish successfully. To be honest, I am not sure if I can even say that I am a successful stepmom, especially when I feel like I can always be better. In …

This is always a funny topic to me to hop on. It always seems to shock people when I tell them that I am a mom of 5 and only 36 and my oldest is 17. I am told quite often that I don’t look old enough to have that many kids… or that they …

To start with, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are into coffee. That’s fine. I’m a late 30’s divorced woman who can’t have kids, has way too many animals, hates cleaning house, and is swimming in debt. Oh, and did I mention I’m a bbw? I get how not every guy …

Mid-May my now husband and I eloped to Jamaica. I knew going in that I’d have some, shall we say, wardrobe struggles? You see, I wear leggings 99% of the time these days. I can dress them up, down, work out in them and not worry about my comfort, thigh chafing or being appropriately dressed. …

I’m at a slight monetary disadvantage this year for the festivities normally heaped on daddies for this day of honor. I have to dust off my powers of creativity, and get down and dirty with inexpensive ideas for my father and my husband. Forget the cliche tie that’s going to be thrown in a drawer …

I’ll never forget the day I sat in my doctor’s office and he said that someday I would get skin cancer. Not might. Not maybe. Not it can happen. Would. Summer Prep: How Sunblock Saved Me From The C-Word I was in middle school and it was required to get a routine physical to participate …

I’m in my bed, in the middle of the afternoon, with my covers pulled over my head. My body is chilled from the inside out, and I can’t stop coughing that barky, rough cough that just sounds painful. It feels like somebody is running a feather duster up and down my raw throat, choking me and …

Believe me when I say that I never thought the words “I own a hedgehog” would EVER come out of my mouth and I am still shocked. My husband has wanted one for years and when we went to visit my sister-in-law, to my surprise, she had two hedgehogs and the female was pregnant. I …

The last time I stepped onto a blood donation bus, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My heart was pounding. I started hyperventilating. My palms were sweating. I just couldn’t go through with it. I gave the lady my forms, told her I had changed my mind and left. I felt …

We have two pregnant women in my family right now. One who’s an old pro at this (baby #3) and one who is experiencing her first rodeo. The old pro is breezing through things as expected, and the newbie is asking some, well, prying questions. We love them both, but it turns out there were …

I am laying in my nice, cozy bed. My blankets are pulled up and over my ears like I prefer, and the house is quiet with sleep. Unfortunately, I drank about a gallon of iced tea before bed, so my bladder is calling in the most urgent way. I sit up, sleep still rolling off …

I’ve been on a kick lately to take better care of my skin. I’m in my thirties, I’ve accepted that I’m aging, and there are things I can do to age more gracefully, shall we say. It’s all fun and games until your eyes swell shut! Yup, I changed my facial routine and ended up …

I look down at my hands splayed on the blue granite of the bathroom counter. This is the part of the day I hate the most. I don’t want to face my reflection in the mirror. I know what I look like. I have memorized the fine lines and wrinkles that are starting to show …

Once, during my period, I Googled how I could get enough energy to exercise. The answer? Exercise. Thanks, Internet! Why don’t you come over here so I can kick you in the butt? You know, if I had the energy to lift my foot that high, which I don’t. My relationship with exercise has always …

What do you do when you’re in a funk? You know what I mean. That dark place you have to drag yourself from, sometimes kicking and screaming. That pit of discouragement where you just want to lie in a cool dark room with a blanket pulled over your head. That place where you just lie …

It’s so easy to just go through the routine. “Great, Mother’s Day is today,” my husband thinks. “Better stop by Walgreens and pick up something quick and easy.” He rushes in and out, hardly even noticing what he has grabbed. It was in the appropriate aisle, so it will do. The kids begrudgingly get out …

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! I want to wish a wonderful day to all the moms out there either through biology, or adoption, or if you’re a step-mom, or even if you’ve got a deadbeat sibling who has run off to Nevada to “find themselves” and left you a niece and a half empty bag of …