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17 Annoying Times Strangers Tried To Parent Someone Else’s Kids

When it comes to children, some people love to give parents (experienced and new) their own advice on how to better raise the children, regardless if they themselves have any children of their own. Watching someone else try to parent your own kid while you’re doing the best your best job can be very infuriating, …

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I Deleted A Bunch Of People Off My Social Media, And It’s Awesome

Last week, one of my random “friends” on Facebook that I haven’t actually seen since high school posted something crazy political and polarizing. I was disgusted! So I did what any social justice warrior worth her salt would do, I launched into a diatribe about just how wrong they were, how ridiculous and uneducated they …

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Why I Take Down My Tree The Day After Christmas

I love Christmas. It’s happy and beautiful and festive. But what I really love is getting my house back after the holidays are over. I love the clean, open feeling when I take down all the decorations. It’s like a new beginning for a new year.  The first year my husband and I were together, …

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I Never Expected Being A Stay-At-Home-Parent Would Be So Lonely…

Over the last few weeks I’ve become a mostly stay-at-home-dad. I’ve been working two, maybe three days a week while my wife is crushing it in her new, fancy accounting job. When my better half and I switched roles, I knew I’d keep busy. I’ve got rooms to clean, and endless stream of laundry to …

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After Divorce: Trying To Date When You Have A Teenager

I’ve been divorced five years. That’s half as long as I was married. So I thought it might be time to start dating again. But my daughter is fifteen. And this means she’s dating, too. So, yes. That means my daughter and I can go out on a double date. Look, we’re not actually going …

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Whoever Invented Underwire Hated Women…And I Had The Rash To Prove It

If you peeked into my underwear drawer you would find exactly one wired bra, but it’s the one bra I refuse to wear. The only time I put that thing on is in the case of an end-of-the-world emergency, like when all my other bras are in the laundry and I don’t want to venture outside …

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I’ve Been Using Chopsticks All Wrong (And So Have You!)

One of the biggest accomplishments of my adult life was learning how to use chopsticks. Not even a lie. It was on par with learning how to whistle or how to well, whistling is really the biggest shame. One of those things that people never want to admit that they just don’t know how to …

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My House Is Never Clean, And I’m Okay With That

This weekend we’re getting ready to visit my future mother-in-law. These trips are always a nice break from the every day for us, but they also highlight one rather crucial shortcoming in my life: I am not a cleaner. I don’t do the dishes after every meal. I do not sweep daily. I do not wash, dry, hang or …

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Should You Ask About Guns In The House Before You Let Your Kids Stay?

It’s tough to find good friends as adults and it’s even tougher to find adults we actually trust with our children. So many times, we think we have found the perfect people. We get to know them, spend time with them, dinners, park play times. It takes a lot of time to build up trust. …

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How To Know If You’re Doing An ‘Okay’ Job As A Parent

Tonight my daughter told me she hated me. She screamed it, in fact, before flipping her hair and marching upstairs to her bedroom. The door slammed and while part of me wanted to run after her and talk to her, I knew the best thing would be to give her time to cool down. My …

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I Put Off Intimacy With My Husband After Pregnancy Because I Was Ashamed Of My Body

Over and over I’ve seen other moms talk about their stretch marks as ‘tiger stripes’, ‘warrior scars’, ‘hope wounds’, but I hated mine. And the worst part was I couldn’t tell anyone how much I hated them. I remember starting the conversation with a friend of mine. “I had the baby and now my skin …

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Why Elf On The Shelf Is Actually Bad For Your Kids

Seems like a great concept: every year as we put away our Thanksgiving platters, and take out our Christmas tree, we think about the Elf and all the merriment he’ll bring our children in December. We plan his pranks, and antics – the blue milk, the tiny sooty Elf footprints leading away from the fireplace. …

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Know Those Gross Moms Who Suck The Pacifier Before Popping It Back In? Turns Out Their Kids Are Healthier!

We’ve all seen her: the frazzled mom who has too much going on and is pushing a baby in a stroller and has no hands left for anything. Then, the baby spits out the pacifier. What does mom do? Picks it up, pops it into her own mouth, and gives it back to baby. So. …

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I Can Pull My Butt Up Like Panties, And Other Unexpected Joys Of Weight Loss Surgery

I have always been curvy and well endowed gal: a habitual “yo-yo dieter”/fad dieter. I always felt bigger than I was when I was younger. Never a size 6, always around 10…and in school that was huge in my mind. I realize that I was usually the only one that it bothered. If I’d known …

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There Are Not Enough Hours In The Day For This Stay-At-Home Dad

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, I’m probably not going to tell you anything new, but being a stay-at-home mom can suck. Don’t get wrong, tending to home and family is rewarding both emotionally and spiritually. Plus, you get to binge watch GLOW while you Pledge the china cabinet. But there is a lot more that …

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Breast Is Not Always Best, And We Need To Stop Telling Women That It Is!

Breast is best. Almost from the moment you see those beautiful double lines, you start hearing that mantra. And you’ve seen research. Listened to friends. Had plenty of doctors tell you the same. Offices have lactation rooms. Breastfeeding is legal in literally every single public space in America. So why would so many people go …

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5 Things To Teach Children About Judging Books (And People) By Their Covers

We’ve always been told to ‘never judge a book by it’s cover’. Covers can be elaborate, plain, some are so beautiful and some are completely unattractive to the readers eye. Some have very little color, but it’s what’s in the book that matters. Even the most attractive cover can be the worst read and the …

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8 Things Only Moms With Anxiety Truly Understand

It’s like a daily issue where something, and I mean SOMETHING goes weird. Us moms just seem to have those moments where we can’t find our keys just magically find them in the refrigerator or we can’t remember if we turned off our curling iron before we left home. And those moments cause so much …

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10 Ways To Avoid Being A Bull In A China Shop

When I was 12, if anyone had called me “Grace”, it would have been entirely ironic. I was as klutzy as a newborn giraffe and literally broke every single thing I touched. I never got better. Over the years, I have come to terms with my personal lack of coordination, but there are certain things …

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5 Things I Say To Myself All The Time (And What I’m Going To Start Saying Instead)

I am the queen of negative self talk. I can find things about myself and talk myself into a feeling of self pity in less than two seconds. I could list a plethora of things I say to myself all the time, but I’m going to stick to five of the main ones. Here are …

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10 Chick Flicks To Watch When Your Uterus Is Being A Little Bitch

Look, if you’re female and have a uterus that still does it’s monthly molting, you’ve been here. There’s just nothing worse than being a tough-ass woman 90% of the time, and then having those one or two days a month where you’re tearful for no flecking reason and then “IT” starts. Yeah. We’ve ALL been …

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How To Check If Your Baby Is Breathing WITHOUT Waking Her Up

Babies breathe weird. Sometimes it is literally impossible to tell if they’re breathing at all. I, like most moms, have experienced that momentary freak out in the middle of the night while my face is shoved straight into baby’s bassinet to find out if she’s alive. Sometimes, when she takes a nap during the day, …

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Imperfectly Perfect: How To Let Go Of Your ‘Ideal Self’ And Be A Happier Person Today!

My whole life I have tried to be the perfect person. In second grade, I was the math whiz who only missed one question the entire year. In fourth grade, I was hated by the teacher, because I was so far ahead of her class, she had to find random things for me to do. …

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My Teens Don’t Need A Helicopter Mom Anymore, And I Feel Like I’ve Been Retired

How do you let go? How do you know when you’re kids are ready for more responsibility and how do you become ok with it? Who really knew the ache and pride felt as your children grow. There is a part of me that feels so me embarrassment in admitting that I’ve been a helicopter …

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I’m A Grown-Up, But I Don’t Feel Like One

When I was a kid, my dad scared me like nothing else. Grown-ups might as well have been gods for all the unquestionable authority they held. Parents, teachers, cops, pastors, random strangers at the grocery store who felt it was okay to pat me on the head because I was so damn cute. Grown-ups looked …

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Stepchildren Are The Children Of Your Heart…

If you are a stepparent then you can completely understand what I mean when I say that being a stepparent isn’t something everyone can accomplish successfully. To be honest, I am not sure if I can even say that I am a successful stepmom, especially when I feel like I can always be better. In …

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No, You Aren’t Perfect…But Should You Settle?

To start with, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are into coffee. That’s fine. I’m a late 30’s divorced woman who can’t have kids, has way too many animals, hates cleaning house, and is swimming in debt. Oh, and did I mention I’m a bbw? I get how not every guy …

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Taking A Trip? Don’t Forget To Pack Your Leggings!

Mid-May my now husband and I eloped to Jamaica. I knew going in that I’d have some, shall we say, wardrobe struggles? You see, I wear leggings 99% of the time these days. I can dress them up, down, work out in them and not worry about my comfort, thigh chafing or being appropriately dressed. …

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Ten Father’s Day Ideas That Won’t Break The Piggy Bank!

I’m at a slight monetary disadvantage this year for the festivities normally heaped on daddies for this day of honor. I have to dust off my powers of creativity, and get down and dirty with inexpensive ideas for my father and my husband. Forget the cliche tie that’s going to be thrown in a drawer …

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Summer Prep: How Sunblock Saved Me From The C-Word

I’ll never forget the day I sat in my doctor’s office and he said that someday I would get skin cancer. Not might. Not maybe. Not it can happen. Would. Summer Prep: How Sunblock Saved Me From The C-Word I was in middle school and it was required to get a routine physical to participate …

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It F*cking Sucks When You’re Sick And Your Child Is Sick At The Same Time

I’m in my bed, in the middle of the afternoon, with my covers pulled over my head. My body is chilled from the inside out, and I can’t stop coughing that barky, rough cough that just sounds painful. It feels like somebody is running a feather duster up and down my raw throat, choking me and …

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Sometimes The Animal You Never Wanted Becomes The Companion You Always Needed

Believe me when I say that I never thought the words “I own a hedgehog” would EVER come out of my mouth and I am still shocked. My husband has wanted one for years and when we went to visit my sister-in-law, to my surprise, she had two hedgehogs and the female was pregnant. I …

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Why I’m Afraid Of Donating Blood (And It’s Not Because Of The Needles!)

The last time I stepped onto a blood donation bus, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My heart was pounding. I started hyperventilating. My palms were sweating. I just couldn’t go through with it. I gave the lady my forms, told her I had changed my mind and left. I felt …

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5 Weird Early Pregnancy Symptoms No One Tells You About (But Should!)

We have two pregnant women in my family right now. One who’s an old pro at this (baby #3) and one who is experiencing her first rodeo. The old pro is breezing through things as expected, and the newbie is asking some, well, prying questions. We love them both, but it turns out there were …

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About The Time My Eye Swelled So Badly I Looked Like Rocky Balboa

I’ve been on a kick lately to take better care of my skin. I’m in my thirties, I’ve accepted that I’m aging, and there are things I can do to age more gracefully, shall we say. It’s all fun and games until your eyes swell shut! Yup, I changed my facial routine and ended up …

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5 Things I Wish My Family Understood About Mother’s Day

It’s so easy to just go through the routine. “Great, Mother’s Day is today,” my husband thinks. “Better stop by Walgreens and pick up something quick and easy.” He rushes in and out, hardly even noticing what he has grabbed. It was in the appropriate aisle, so it will do. The kids begrudgingly get out …

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Your Dog Doesn’t Count On Mother’s Day And Other Truths

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! I want to wish a wonderful day to all the moms out there either through biology, or adoption, or if you’re a step-mom, or even if you’ve got a deadbeat sibling who has run off to Nevada to “find themselves” and left you a niece and a half empty bag of …

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If You Have Coulrophobia, This House Is NOT For You!

It’s – it’s hard for me to even write this because my Coulrophobia is so bad, but I feel as if I have to share with y’all because I don’t want anyone else to experience what I experienced. For the uninitiated, coulrophobia is a fear of clowns. I can not handle them. I won’t be …

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I Had My Fortune Read And It Completely Freaked Me Out

I’ve always been fascinated with the supernatural world. I can remember as a child pretending to have conversations with angels. In my mind, I figured that since they could see me and hear me, why shouldn’t I talk to them even if I couldn’t see or hear them. For whatever reason, my interest in the …

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Am I The Only Mom Who Always Seems To End Up In Tears On Mother’s Day?

To start with, this post is probably going to make me look horrible. I swear I’m not. I love my kids. I love my husband. I love love love my family with all of my life and every fiber of my being. But…sometimes it’s a bit much. I mean, the whole family and life and …

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10 Things I Actually Want For Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day. Just saying the words invoke images of gifts made of crepe paper, frumpy bathrobes, stand mixers, flowery stationary, or maybe a box of chocolates, or grocery-store flowers. Not that I’m not appreciative. These are all great gifts, but let’s get real for a minute. There are some, shall we say, less traditional gifts …

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“I Am Alone” The Great Lie We All Tell Ourselves

The other night I was laying awake in bed, desperately wanting to talk to someone. The person I thought of came up in my Facebook feed…of this person talking about how someone else is their BFF. This person and I haven’t been as close in the last few years, but I still felt that pang …

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May Is Mental Health Awareness Month. So Of Course I Have To Totally Lose It Day One

Currently it’s May 1st, almost 2pm. I’ve cried four or five times for no reason, I feel like the Apathy Monster has swallowed me and the poor people in my life are shifting into Do Something Mode to throw me a life line. In some sort of odd happenstance, this is all going down on …

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I Wear My Husband’s Boxers Everywhere And I Don’t Care What You Think

When you spend 90% of your day at home, if you’re like me you’re in your pj’s, or if its really nice out I’m in my husband boxers with a baggy t-Shirt. So what….they’re comfortable, it’s literally like wearing nothing at all…and it doesn’t get more comfortable than naked, (unless it’s in public, than no) …

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Procrastination Is That Friend That You Hate To See But Love To Party With

I’ve got so much stuff to do. I should be working on my manuscript, working on my pitch for said manuscript for an upcoming writer’s conference, tackle various freelance design jobs, organize a class I’m teaching at a said writer’s conference, keeping my house at human occupation levels, and oh yeah, I’ve got an 8-5 …

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My Husband Has Never Seen Me ‘Use’ The Bathroom

I’ve crossed quite a few personal lines in the last three-plus years that I’ve been with my husband. He’s seen my make-up free cheeks in all their blotchy, pink glory. He’s seen the purple half moons that show up under my eyes when I’m tired. He’s seen my greasy hair pulled back in a bun …

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10 Things Your Fingernails Are Trying To Tell You

What do you think of when I say “fingernails?” For most people, visions of pretty nail polish in every color and acrylic nails with fancy tips dance across their minds. People who work with their hands may think of stubborn grease stains under and around their nails … nothing that a good sandpaper-like washing with …

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Four, Er, Three Trends That Need To Die

I don’t know about you, but I think trends are awesome. If it wasn’t for trends, how would be know what to like and how to feel about things? Trends gave us hip-hop, teen comedies, women’s suits with giant shoulder pads…okay, I’m just listing off everything from the ‘80’s (historically known as The Best Decade). …

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You Never Really Know Someone Until You Have To Wash Dishes With Them

Our dishwasher broke sometime over the last week, and I didn’t know it but my fiance just kept running the dishwasher assuming that eventually the dishes would get clean. Spoiler: they didn’t. Our dishwasher is busted. Super busted. And it turns out, you never really know someone until you have to wash dishes with them. …

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LuLaRoe Life Balance: Keeping My Closet Happy Without Making My Wallet Cry

A few weeks ago I had no idea what LuLaRoe was. Despite the fact that there have been several articles about the fashion line have been posted on this very website, I hadn’t done much more than scan them. I got the basic idea. Competitive clothes shopping? No. Freaking. Thank. You. I have to watch …

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What Really Happens Every Single Time I Start A Diet…

Today is a bright new day! It is the start of a better, new, healthier me! Time to break out the MyFitnessPal app on my phone, and get this party started right. I’m going to track EVERYTHING I put in my mouth, and track everything I work off in exercise. Let’s do this thing!! What …

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How I Found My Zen And Other Ways To De-Stress

I stress out every day. I can’t really help it. It’s part of my job. I work as a newspaper reporter, which is one of the top 10 most stressful jobs a person can have. Every single day I stress about making deadlines, posting stories on Facebook, setting up interviews, taking photos and planning stories …

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Stillbirths Are A Reality, And We Need To Talk About It…

This is such a painful subject that the conversation is often avoided and yet it occurs far more than most people realize. This is my story…I hope in some way it will help others in similar situations. I’ve given birth to 2 stillborn children: one at 7 1/2 months gestation and the other at 8, …

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I’m Excited About The Wedding, But Freaked Out About The Dress

I’m engaged. It’s still weird to say those words. My boy-er-fiancee and I have been together just under five years. You’d think the progression of dating, co-habitating, and getting married would be pretty standard by now. But it’s still so weird! That’s another post entirely. This one? It’s about…the dress. *gulp* I’m Excited About The …

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Insecurity Can Kiss My Ass: I’m Taking My Power BACK!

Not good enough. I feel this way a lot. Do you ever feel this way? Tell me I’m not strange and alone. Maybe it’s that I feel I don’t fit in with any one crowd. I’ve never been smart enough to be the nerd. I don’t know how to play Dungeons and Dragons, I only …

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5 Ways To Shed The Stress This April!

Did you know that April is national Stress Awareness Month? If you’re like me, when you read that you probably laughed and said something along the lines of, “Do I really need to be more aware of my stress?” The answer is, yes. You do. Because knowing you’re stressed is half the battle. 5 Ways …

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Trying To Poop After My C-Section Nearly Killed Me

As everyone who has ever had major surgery knows, they never let you go home until you’ve had a bowel movement. They have to make sure the anesthetic didn’t effect the bowels and so even when you’re ready to get out of those horrible hospital beds and midnight interruptions awaking you to make sure you’re …

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I Knew He Was The One When I Realized Life Was More Fun With Him In It

I saw a meme the other day that perfectly captured my relationship with my future husband. I can’t find it, no amount of googling has made it resurface, so I figured I’d blog about it. The night I met my fiancee is stuck in my head like an award winning movie. I can almost remember …

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An Eccentric Aunt’s Guide To Learning To Love Knitting

In my ongoing decent into eccentric aunt territory, I have become…a knitter. A person who knits in public. And like a lot of knitters, I will wax poetic about how much I love to knit, and how soothing the rhythm of the needles can be, blah blah blah. But when I have my knitting out (because …

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So Your Child Has Autism And You Have Denial

“He ran head-first through a crowded parking lot. Terrible Twos? Am I right?” “It’s okay if he had a meltdown during his baseball game and had to be drug off the field. Boys will be boys.” “So he spent all day at school hiding under his desk, hands cupped over his ears, screaming at the …

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The Time I Found Out Giving Birth Is Easier Than Waxing At Home

I’m a product of the 80’s so for my time, Nair was the big thing for hair removal (I’m talking the bikini area). Effective, painless, but like shaving it grew back so fast that I was scratching my girly bits from regrowth a day after I’d done it. That’s always attractive, “No, I don’t have crabs…why …

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My Parents Were Right, But I’m Taking That To My Grave

My daughter is nine. When I say she’s nine, I mean she thinks she’s 25. She is one of the most stubborn people I have ever come across. She gets these ideas in her head, and there is no deterring her. She thinks she is in control of every aspect of her life, and it’s …

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Sometimes The Best Thing You Can Do Is Let It Go, And Walk Away

I have always been a resolution person. I can’t STAND unresolved issues. If someone is upset with me or visa versa, I like to confront and resolve as soon as possible so I can get on with my life and my mind can focus on more positive and productive things. This week, I learned a …

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That Time A Mosquito Made My Ear Look Like Quasimodo

I had no idea that mosquitoes were back. I never got that newsletter, that email, that breaking news alert that they had returned, apparently in droves, to Central Florida. I wish I had known that they were back, because then I never would have gone outside at dusk. I have my mother to thank for …

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How To Murder Your Teenager, And Where To Hide The Body

Teenagers are awful. The are as close to nature flipping parents the finger as you can get. And yeah, we’ve all got those friends who are all, “My kids aren’t like that. My kids are amazing. Maybe if you’d parented differently your kids could be angels, too.” Yeah, trust me: their little Dylan and Petal …

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How My Opinion Of ‘Bad Parents’ Changed After I Had Kids

I’m out to dinner with my husband when the screeching starts. I roll my eyes, looking at the child standing backwards in the booth in front of me. She starts to bounce up and down on the pleather seat, as she continues to screech and laugh. Her mother tries to get her to turn around …

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