These Things Are Better Than Your Things Archives - Page 2 of 8 - Totally The Bomb.com

If You Have Coulrophobia, This House Is NOT For You!

Heavy Handed Advice

It's - it's hard for me to even write this because my Coulrophobia is so bad, but I feel as if I have to share with y'all because I don't want anyone else to experience what I experienced. For the uninitiated, coulrophobia is a fear of clowns. I can not handle them. I won't be seeing the new IT, I don't go to the circus (is there even a circus to go to anymore?). If one of those creepy clown people came out of the woods toward me I'd likely throat-punch it right before I died. It's BAD. Where you see sweet Mr. Binkles handing out balloons at the park, I see John Wayne Gacy chopping up children Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I Had My Fortune Read And It Completely Freaked Me Out

Heavy Handed Advice

I've always been fascinated with the supernatural world. I can remember as a child pretending to have conversations with angels. In my mind, I figured that since they could see me and hear me, why shouldn't I talk to them even if I couldn't see or hear them. For whatever reason, my interest in the supernatural world has never really faded. I definitely believe there is more to this world than meets the eye. But it's one thing to believe it and another thing to have a stranger tell you about your life because he claims that he can see and hear a supernatural being. Which is exactly what Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Fidget Spinners Are Ruining America!

Heavy Handed Advice

I went to the grocery store today and it didn't matter which aisle I went down, I heard this low humming sound. At first I thought it was my cell phone. Nope, that was still at home on the kitchen counter along with my grocery list. Then, I looked for something in the shelves. Nope. Was it the AC Units? I looked everywhere before I realized it was the kids. Every single child in that grocery store had a fidget spinner in hand and were busily whirring it around and around like so many tiny little ninja throwing stars. Or fans. Except they didn't put out any cool air. They were just these Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

10 Things I Actually Want For Mother’s Day

Heavy Handed Advice

Mother's Day. Just saying the words invoke images of gifts made of crepe paper, frumpy bathrobes, stand mixers, flowery stationary, or maybe a box of chocolates, or grocery-store flowers. Not that I'm not appreciative. These are all great gifts, but let's get real for a minute. There are some, shall we say, less traditional gifts I want this year. Just hear me out for a minute. Here are 10 things I actually want for Mother's Day. 10 Things I Actually Want For Mother's Day In no particular order, I give you the top 10 things I actually want for Mother's Day this year: 1. 10 Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

My Little Pony: They’re Not Just For Kids Anymore!

Heavy Handed Advice

My 16 year old daughter is obsessed with My Little Pony. The thing is, I actually enjoy it myself, because let's face it: "Friendship is magic." I feel like I know far more about My Little Pony now than I did when I was a kid. She's taught me the different generations of ponies, like in the 80's they were the gen 1 and now like 35+ years later they are the gen 4. A lot has changed when I watched them...cutting edge compared to gen 1. So yeah, My Little Pony is still a thing, and apparently it's a really big thing. My Little Pony: They're Not Just For Kids Anymore! I've come to realize, Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Moms On Medication: We’re Less Crazy Now

Heavy Handed Advice

Earlier in my marriage, I played a lot of video games. A lot of video games. You might say I played enough World of Warcraft to make it a full time job (one which took money instead of giving it). You probably have opinions on what I should have been doing instead, but let’s table those for now. During that time, a combination of factors—from poor diet to lack of sunlight to feeling like I wasn’t useful—all combined to give me a bit of depression. Okay, probably more than a bit. And I'm so lucky I had a partner who recognized the signs. Know what I found out? It's okay for moms to be on Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I Wear My Husband’s Boxers Everywhere And I Don’t Care What You Think

Heavy Handed Advice

When you spend 90% of your day at home, if you're like me you're in your pj's, or if its really nice out I'm in my husband boxers with a baggy t-Shirt. So what....they're comfortable, it's literally like wearing nothing at all...and it doesn't get more comfortable than naked, (unless it's in public, than no) and they have cute designs! Air Force, Superman, American Eagle, Valentines ones that say 'Love' all over them, (valentines gift from me) plain blue, the Grinch...I mean, come on...they're cute. Plus, with a huge t-shirt you only see the bottom inch, so they totally look like baggy shorts. Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Procrastination Is That Friend That You Hate To See But Love To Party With

Heavy Handed Advice

I’ve got so much stuff to do. I should be working on my manuscript, working on my pitch for said manuscript for an upcoming writer's conference, tackle various freelance design jobs, organize a class I’m teaching at a said writer's conference, keeping my house at human occupation levels, and oh yeah, I've got an 8-5 job. So instead of working on ANY of those projects, I’m going to write a blog post about procrastination. Makes sense, right? Also, I'm probably going to procrastinate on this post because let's admit it: procrastination is that friend that you hate to see, but love to party Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I Think My Dog Is Addicted To TV

Heavy Handed Advice

My dog Bosco watches television. Not just a few minutes here or there, but the whole show, and he has his favorites. He'll sit in front of it so close I'm almost concerned about his eyesight, especially after my Mom used to tell me, "Don't sit so close it will hurt your eyes." Will it hurt his eyes? The Vet doesn't seem to think so, yes I've asked...because I can't get him to stop, or back away. It's almost more entertaining to watch him then it is to watch the TV itself. Because he becomes so engrossed, you can watch his head move as the characters on the screen move, whine at a random animal Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Fortunately My Life Didn’t Go As Planned!

Heavy Handed Advice

Once those doors opened, my life would be forever changed... It happened when I was 24, almost 25. I had just signed on as an Assistant Manager at a new coffee shop. I was placed at the perfect store, a dream store really, which I was told would be a permanent gig. I had just signed a year lease, and moved into a lovely new apartment only three minutes from my store. Life was good, and the future seemed brighter than ever. Two weeks later, they moved me ... Thirty minutes away from everything I had just established, thirty minutes from the life I was, in my head, supposed to lead. Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Just How Magical IS The Starbucks Unicorn Frap?

The first time I saw a photo of the pink and blue tie-dyed drink on Facebook, even though it was a few days late, I thought it was an April Fool's day prank. It was too cute. Too trendy. There was no way a big chain store would sell a drink that was that bright and fun. A few days later I saw the mythical unicorn frappuccino again, this time on a poster outside of an actual Starbucks. The alarms went off. This was not a drill. And since it's a limited time offer I HAD to act fact...so, just how magical IS the Starbucks Unicorn Frap? Just How Magical IS The Starbucks Unicorn Frap? I love Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

LuLaRoe Life Balance: Keeping My Closet Happy Without Making My Wallet Cry

Heavy Handed Advice

A few weeks ago I had no idea what LuLaRoe was. Despite the fact that there have been several articles about the fashion line have been posted on this very website, I hadn’t done much more than scan them. I got the basic idea. Competitive clothes shopping? No. Freaking. Thank. You. I have to watch 3+ hour long live videos of LuLaRoe fashion consultants holding up leggings and THEN have to hope that 1. My internet connection isn’t terrible, 2. Type “Sold” plus the item number faster than every other leggings hungry lady, and 3. Hope that the CONSULTANT’S comment feed showed me as the top Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

The Joys Of Teaching My Autistic Son To Cook

We all have that friend who can’t cook even a simple meal. None of us are perfect, we all fall short. Heck, I don’t know how to ride a bike. But guess what? I don’t need to know how to ride a bike because I have a car. But if you’re on a camping trip and suddenly realize you have no idea how to start a fire: A) if you’re a woman, you’re in trouble: B) if you’re a guy, you look like an idiot AND you’re in trouble. As a father, I’ve been blessed with the ability to pass my knowledge on to my children. However, a kid can only learn so much about 80’s new wave bands and old horror movies before Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

To The Man Who Stopped Dating Hot Women…

Heavy Handed Advice

Dear Sir: Ugly women everywhere want to applaud you for making the bold choice to stop dating hot women. We know for a fact that it is a huge sacrifice for you to have to stop dating hot women, and in no way whatsoever their choice for you to stop. Sure, some might be speculating that you're stopping because of THEIR choice, not yours, but those people are just jealous of your incredible intellect and strong physical prowess. To The Man Who Stopped Dating Hot Women... Moreover, every woman who dates you from now on is so grateful she'll never have to worry about her looks. She'll Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

How I Found My Zen And Other Ways To De-Stress

Heavy Handed Advice

I stress out every day. I can't really help it. It's part of my job. I work as a newspaper reporter, which is one of the top 10 most stressful jobs a person can have. Every single day I stress about making deadlines, posting stories on Facebook, setting up interviews, taking photos and planning stories for the upcoming week. And that's just before noon. It's the nature of the industry. We're always, always on a deadline. Even when we're not on deadline for a story, we're on a deadline for something else. So yes, it's all very stressful. But it's okay, because I found my zen, and a few other Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

If You Don’t Like Peeps, We Can’t Be Friends

Death By Dessert

Peeps. Everyone has an opinion on Peeps. There has never been a more controversial topic around the family Easter table that has resulted in so much thrown ham. They are either a perennial Easter favorite or a much maligned “last treat in the basket” candy. Some adults have fond memories of these sugar coated marshmallows shaped like little baby chicks and bunnies. Others have fond memories of microwaving those suckers until they explode in a miniature reenactment of the last scene in the 1984 classic Ghostbusters film. Here's the thing: if you don't like Peeps, I'm not sure we can be friends. Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I Knew He Was The One When I Realized Life Was More Fun With Him In It

Heavy Handed Advice

I saw a meme the other day that perfectly captured my relationship with my future husband. I can't find it, no amount of googling has made it resurface, so I figured I'd blog about it. The night I met my fiancee is stuck in my head like an award winning movie. I can almost remember what I was wearing... (dear god, I hope it wasn't that outfit... I looked like a green disco ball.) I'd just had surgery to remove my gallbladder four days before. I'd broken up with my flake of a boyfriend that morning. All I wanted to do was go hang out with friends, then come home to be alone. But when you Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

An Eccentric Aunt’s Guide To Learning To Love Knitting

Crafts You Won't Make

In my ongoing decent into eccentric aunt territory, I have become...a knitter. A person who knits in public. And like a lot of knitters, I will wax poetic about how much I love to knit, and how soothing the rhythm of the needles can be, blah blah blah. But when I have my knitting out (because I'm the kind of person who knits in public, because why not) I meet two kinds of people: Those who knit. Those who don't think they can knit. It's because of this I'm going to share a bit of information on how to learn to love knitting. An eccentric aunt's guide to learning to love knitting, so to Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

This Ain’t Makeup, Sweetheart, It’s War Paint!

Heavy Handed Advice

January of 2013 the company I was working for shut the doors to their Dallas office and I became one of the telecommuting proud. I knew it was coming. The signs had been there for a while, so I wasn't unprepared, but I was also in no way ready for that kind of transition. Three years later I found myself let go and now self-employed. I knew I wanted to go it alone one day, but I was in no way prepared for the sudden downsizing. I remember that first day, cut lose from the company I'd worked for since 2008 and falling back on some very important advice a friend had given me when I began Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

The Best Graduation Gifts

These Things Are Better Than Your Things

It is not every day that you (or someone you know) graduates. It's a memorable time in one's life where the entire day involves around that person and those that accomplished great things along them. Whether it is high school graduation or even college graduation, it should be celebrated. Gifts are welcomed but if you are unsure where to start, check out our guide of The Best Graduation Gifts around! The Best Graduation Gifts Cards - Okay so I am person that LOVES to celebrate anything and everything. I love all aspects of a celebration so for me, cards are a MUST. Take the time to Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

The Best Thing A Mom Can Do Is Find Friends As Weird As Her, And Make Them Her Tribe

Heavy Handed Advice

My best friends are inevitably people with whom I feel free to be completely and utterly myself. And myself is weird. As a mom I think the best advice I can give to any other mom is to find people as weird as you and surround yourself with them. Make them your tribe. Those weirdos are the ones who will help you survive when everything at home is covered in baby puke and cat hair. The Best Thing A Mom Can Do Is Find Friends As Weird As Her, And Make Them Her Tribe I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending to be normal. I wear slacks and cardigans and flattering colors. I can carry on a Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

So Tell Me: Are You Team Coffee, Or Team Tea?

Stop what you are doing. I have to ask you the most important, crucial, imperative question you will be asked all day: Are you Team Coffee or Team Tea? So Tell Me: Are You Team Coffee, Or Team Tea? I know it's a hot debate, and there are loyalists for each side. I have heard full-blown arguments devoted to one’s love and devotion to these hot liquids. “But the roasting and brewing process is imperative to the flavor” … “But it has to steep for exactly 4.2 minutes for optimum experience.” The size of the grind, loose leaf versus pod, pour over versus french press, stove-top kettle versus Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

My LuLaRoe Leggings Don’t Judge Me

Heavy Handed Advice

Last week we were about to go see Rogue One finally. Yes, finally. I was trying to pick out something to wear and was feeling Star-Wars-Festive. I have this really cool, long sleeved Star Wars shirt and figured I'd wear that. But the leggings I own that match it were all dirty. Which meant I'd have to wear jeans. And at this point I hate jeans. My jeans judge me in a way my LuLaRoe leggings never will... My LuLaRoe Leggings Don't Judge Me Seriously, though, jeans. Ug! Okay. Well. The shirt was sort of hoodie like... I used to love wearing hoodies with jeans! At this point, Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I Can Say “Nipple Clamps” Here, Right?

Books That Don't Suck

It’s a post-Fifty Shades of Grey world, and there is a huge demand for super-sexy romantic novels. Authors work hand over fist to supply readers with what they want, and as a freelancer, I copy edit a lot of erotic romance. What does a copy editor do? Nitpick, mostly. Take a sex scene—the writer’s job is to describe the action and the emotions of the characters. My job is to make sure there aren’t too many hands or too few commas. I respect all my clients and their books, not matter how racy. But let’s face it—the fact that I have Googled “accidental butt-sex” as part of my job is a bit Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

How To Make Your Dream Job A Reality

Heavy Handed Advice

Have you ever wanted a job for which you are COMPLETELY unqualified? I mean, you wanted it so bad that you could see yourself doing this job when you closed your eyes at night. You planned out, not even realizing you were doing so, what you would do in this fantastical position. You obsessed over this position, and daydreamed about it, always at inopportune times ... like when you were supposed to be doing your ACTUAL job. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this. Thing is, I'm starting to get to live one of my dreams, and in doing so I've figured out you can make your dream job Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Why Oliver And April The Giraffe Are #RelationshipGoals

Heavy Handed Advice

Social media has been flooded with messages about people waiting impatiently for the new baby giraffe at Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York, but the only one waiting more anxiously than April the Giraffe is her baby-daddy, Oliver. This is the new four-legged power couple taking the internet by storm. And in my humble opinion, Oliver and April's girromance is total #RelationshipGoals. Why Oliver And April The Giraffe Are #RelationshipGoals Because their stalls are next to each other, Oliver has been able to keep a watchful eye on the Mother-to-Be and note her increasing Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! There Is No One Alive Who Is Youer Than You

Books That Don't Suck

March second, otherwise known as Read Across America Day, otherwise known as Dr. Seuss’s birthday, has been celebrated by elementary schools across America since 1998. Everyone knows Dr. Seuss … cartoonist, storyteller, and one of my heroes (along with Walt Disney, because that is how I do this adult thing). There isn’t a person who doesn’t have a favorite Dr. Seuss book (and if you don’t, you're dead inside). Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! There Is No One Alive Who Is Youer Than You For me, the first book I remember reading all the way through was Green Eggs and Ham, that silly book about Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

I’ve Been Using Chopsticks All Wrong (And So Have You!)

One of the biggest accomplishments of my adult life was learning how to use chopsticks. Not even a lie. It was on par with learning how to whistle or how to well, whistling is really the biggest shame. One of those things that people never want to admit that they just don't know how to do. Yes, for many years I was the person who had to use a fork at Chinese restaurants whilst surrounded by friends who were all chopping it up. Turns out, though, ALL OF US WERE USING THEM WRONG. My adult life has been a lie and I'm here now to rescue you from the same shame. Did you know there's a reason Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Whoever Invented Underwire Hated Women…And I Had The Rash To Prove It

Heavy Handed Advice

If you peeked into my underwear drawer you would find exactly one wired bra, but it's the one bra I refuse to wear. The only time I put that thing on is in the case of an end-of-the-world emergency, like when all my other bras are in the laundry and I don't want to venture outside braless (although sometime that argument still isn't strong enough to get me to put that cursed thing on). Sure, that bra makes my boobs look bigger and perkier, but I just can't tolerate that thing for more than a couple of minutes. I swear there are little tiny daggers sewn into the seams. Seriously, whoever Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

…And I’m Just Waitin’ For A Pregnant Giraffe To Poop Out A Baby

Heavy Handed Advice

Poor April, April the giraffe. She doesn't even know she has become an internet and media sensation. April with the upside down heart spot on the left side of her neck, who rarely leaves her birthing stall, and has her baby daddy, Oliver, in the next stall over. Yes, we've all been glued to the Live Feed of this majestic momma, and memorized just about every spot, manerism, and feature of this now-famous animal (or maybe that's just me). We've all held our collective breath each time she moves, lays down, or for goodness sakes, even swishes her tail. "It's time," the comments inevitably read. Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

8 Unexpected Perks Of Having Kids

Heavy Handed Advice

Why did I have children? Yes, they are lovely. They bring joy to our lives, and it's a privilege watching them blossom into adulthood. I got to be there when they started to crawl, learned to walk, said their first words, and got all teary-eyed as I ushered them off to kindergarten. I smiled outwardly (cringe inwardly) when they had their first crush, and cried with them after their first heartbreak. I love my children! But ... what's the real reason I had kids? Because there are at least 8 unexpected perks that come with being a parent. 8 Unexpected Perks Of Having Kids 1. Did Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]

Why I’ll Never Give Up My LuLaRoe…

Heavy Handed Advice

I guess this is a post I need to write once a year or something. The other day I was scrolling Facebook and saw a meme that was shared by someone from some new, non LuLaRoe legging company that shall not be named. Please note, this was a meme posted on this company's, I guess, official page. No, I won't name names. The meme had rules for wearing leggings. There were just two rules, but you only need a few words to body shame people. And that's why I'll never give up my LuLaRoe. They would Never have done something like THIS. Why I'll Never Give Up My LuLaRoe... So basically the meme Keep Reading >>>

[ssbp]