Heavy Handed Advice

As a teenager one of my biggest obsessions were those afternoon talk shows. Ricky, Maury, and Oprah were my besties, and my favorite shows were the big reveal shows: the ones where someone who used to be an ugly duckling came on and surprised some creep-o they went to high school with by showing what …

If you’re offended by romance novels, we should probably not date. Recently I started talking to this guy who was all sorts of excited to find out I was a published author…right up until he found out I write romance. “Oh,” he said. “No offense but I would never read that crap.” So let’s set …

I’m not a noob to the affects of lice. When I was a little girl my mom once threatened to move me into a cabin by myself if I shared my hat, headband, and/or affection with another lice-carrying classmate. I was a friendly kid, what can I say? So maybe twice a year or so from the time …

I used to be someone who hated the idea of getting married. I have been through too many divorces (my own and those of my parents) to feel like marriage was something I ever wanted to be a part of again. My experience with marriages and other serious relationships had me feeling like I needed …

I love fish. Unlike cats and dogs that totally have attitudes and can give you the cold shoulder if they want, fish are just going with the flow (pretty literally). They just sit in their tank listening to your muffled problems through a glass wall and when scared of your lips against the glass, they …

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. Most of the time. Most of the time it’s the greatest thing ever. Most of the time I look at those beautiful blue eyes and think, “Wow. You’re the coolest kid alive.” But I didn’t give birth to her. And since she is ten, she likes …

Between the craziness of life, family, work, and just trying to remember when to pack extra tampons, it’s hard being a woman. We’ve all got our ups and downs, sure, but there are still things we should be doing daily to make the downs a little more tolerable, and maybe even make those ups last …

I didn’t get to spend Easter with my family, and it was more emotional than I ever thought it would be. Every holiday I find myself dreading going to family events. They’re crowded and being the only single, childless person there puts me in this ‘odd man out’ place that somehow feels worse Because I’m …

Going back to work. That is the phrase that sends us stay-at-home moms to bed with cold sweats. I became a stay-at-home mom after the birth of my first born, and while I didn’t love every minute of it, I did figure out that being a SAHM was probably one of the best jobs I’ve …

I am totally guilty of swiping my man’s razor when mine is getting a little dull. I also feel no shame about wearing his comfy pants. What? His are roomier! When I saw this comment thread on Ask Reddit about men confessing which women’s products they love to steal I laughed so hard I knew I …

I’m a bright woman. If you’re reading this, you probably are, too. So know that I’m not writing this with pride, but with the great chagrin that comes from doing absolutely dumb-dumb things from time to time and feeling like we have to get them off our chests. My most recent dumb-dumb thing? I brushed …

But just remember: every sixty seconds you spend hating the way you look is a minute of love you’ll never get back. These quotes will help you reexamine how you feel about yourself, your body, and the love you deserve…because trust me – you deserve ALL the love.

I always made fun of the, “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” commercial. I was a kid when it first came out and it immediately became a joke around my school, my friends. None of us understood just how serious it was. Again, I was a kid, so don’t judge me on that. …

I was so excited for my daughter’s first Easter Egg Hunt. She was maybe 2, all dressed up in her Easter finest with an adorable little basket in the crook of her arm. They had divided them up into age groups, the fields of eggs all roped off, eggs dotting the green grass. “On your …

I have a desk in the middle of my bedroom. Not a desk…a half built desk. There are boards piled on top of my nightstand, screwdrivers and a hammer laying next to the bed, and the screws have been scattered around a little by the kittens. The desk was supposed to take two hours to …

I never understood how some people’s phones lasted all day, but I had to charge mine at least two or three times. I mean, I always closed all my apps, made sure any excess notifications were turned off, checked to see if I’d uploaded all photos and videos to my laptop so that I didn’t …

I’ve struggled with major depression my entire life, but if you met me you’d never know. The reason you’d never know is after an arduous period of trials and tribulations, I found a depression medication that works well with my brain chemistry and does a fantastic job of letting me live a happy, healthy life …

Look, I try not to judge people, really I do. In fact, I’ve made it my mission to stomp out online mommy trolls, because I think they are making the internet a sad place, and I can’t be having that. The internet is my happy place.  I know it’s not nice and that it always …

The very existence of our species is based on the survival of the fittest. The forming of tribes. The pooling of resources. The establishment of hierarchy. Whether in the cave, on the battlefield, in the boardroom, or the classroom, four billion years of evolution has proven one thing–the strong might absorb the week. But none …

I thought I was prepared for everything. I read every book I could find. I stayed up late nights reading forums, I got all the pamphlets and books from La Leche League. I was ready to breastfeed. I was going to knock this whole booby milk party out of the park, my kid was going …

For the record, maple syrup does NOT treat meningitis. I am not a doctor, nor a holistic healer, I barely know how to put on bandaids properly, but, and I repeat, maple syrup does NOT treat meningitis. Know how I know this? Because there is a couple in Canada (David and Collet Stephan) who are …

I am going to start with this full and honest disclosure: I was a crazy kid. Like, if our lives had been filmed as a reality show, there’s a really good chance I’d still be locked away in a state mental hospital somewhere. And that’s not me making light of mental illness at all, seriously, …

The old ball and chain and I take our 2 year old to a Mommy and Me gymnastics class every Saturday morning at 9am. In a former life I was a gymnastics coach, so I have taught the very same class, although at a different gym. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for …

A couple of years ago I spent about two weeks laid up in the hospital and became completely obsessed with the show Hoarders. It’s one of the most disturbing and mesmerizing shows on television and all I could think at the time was, “I might be super sick, but at least my bathroom doesn’t look like …

In our world right now, we have access to all sorts of information stored right at our fingertips. There is a lot going on. We have marriage equality. We’re dealing with ISIS. Celebrities are coming out as transgendered. A whirlwind presidential election is happening, with record setting media coverage, and holy crap – grown men …

So I’ve always been someone who looks out for other people, especially people I care about. But lately, I’ve been greeted with a heck of a lot of ingratitude when it comes to things my friends have told me. It’s not that I’m trying to run their lives, or tell them what to do, but …

It’s no secret that I have long, thick hair. I take pride in my long luscious locks because who knows if I will have this much hair as I age. While I do love it, I don’t love how messy it can get. I have found that washing and drying my hair every other day is …

Hey, I get it. Whether you’re related to me or not, as a romance author with a penchant for profanity, I understand that my online presence isn’t suitable for children or the ultra conservative. But if you’re like me, social media is the one place you can broadcast your opinions to the world, share your …

Okay, so you’ve read the post title and instantly think I am nine different kinds of crazy, right? She’s six. What on earth does she need an expensive piece of technology for? She’s just going to lose it. Kids don’t need to be connected every hour of every minute. Look, I know the reasons for …

I live in a bubble. I will admit it freely, and happily, and for the most part I really really love not having it popped and here’s why: every time my bubble is popped, I find out something horrifying about life that I really wish I NEVER knew. Tonight, it was about toothbrushes. More to …

I don’t know how it started, but I became frenemies with one of the women in my mommy group. It’s like one day we were actual friends, or at least acquaintances, then the next (or weeks later, who knows?)…not so much. She never comes out and says anything truly mean, but it’s like she knows …

It’s all over Facebook: Donald Trump is the WORST PRESIDENT EVER! And if Facebook says it’s so, it Must be so! I mean, look at the hair, that alone is an affront to nature. And what’s up with the orange…like, has no one told him or something? He’s the worst! And we’ve all seen the …

The internet has ruined my expectations of what food is supposed to look like. Before all of these amazing food artists came out of the woodwork I always thought ‘I’ was an amazing food artist. Seriously, there are things I can make with ketchup that you wouldn’t even Believe. But, the internet. And while some …

I am a sugar-holic. A seriously addicted to sugar crazy person who sometimes drives to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night because I’m jonsing for an Oatmeal Pie. My biggest crazy sugar deal was the time I stress-ate my way through two huge bags of Easter candy and a gallon of ice cream all …

I hate mustard. Mustard is the sauce of the devil. So, when I finally sat down at the end of the day to eat a meal with my family, and I tasted the evil satan-mustard, I cried. Today, I cried over a sandwich. But you know what? It wasn’t about the sandwich. I was overworked and …

I am all about the VIP treatment when I travel, and that’s EXACTLY what the Behind the Blue Experience at Blue Man Group in Las Vegas at Luxor Hotel and Casino is! This is something you set up in advance, you arrive a little early to the show, a VIP host comes out and gets you, …

First off, June Cleaver is a freakin’ liar. No one smiles that much after spending all day cleaning their house, taking care of kids, and somehow creating a dinner fit for magazine covers. No. In fact, if she were real and expected to do all that she’d probably be crying in a corner by 4:00 and …

In case you didn’t know we are right in the middle of Chinese New Year! It’s a celebration based on the Chinese lunar calendar, and this year it falls on February 8 – February 22. So if you are excited and want to celebrate but don’t know how, we are happy to tell you that we are …

Look, I get it. It’s four am, your kid won’t sleep, and your boobs are so full of milk they feel like hot balls of lava that might burst into your chest cavity at any second. You just need sleep, you’re Netflix queue is empty, but Facebook is there on your phone with an endless …

So we all know about cyber trolls…bullies who wander the web looking for people to mess with. Well, there’s a breed that I hadn’t thought about until recently, and they are the worst of the worst. See, while normal trolls flit from post to post leaving mean comments for all to read, mommy trolls up …

I don’t know what it is about me, but other moms just don’t like me, or at least they don’t want to talk to me at the bus stop. It might be the area I’m in. Maybe it’s because I look really young (to be fair, I am a young mom). Maybe it’s because I have …

If you are a mom you know this all too well… “Mom, I’m bored!”. You know, that whiny, high pitched voice protruding out of your child’s mouth claiming their boredness even though they have an entire room full of toys, books to read, and an imagination to put to good use, they still complain. I …

This post is sponsored by Socialstars and Tide, however all opinions are my own. #SmallButPowerful So, here we sit on yet another Super Bowl Sunday, and my family has no plans to watch, attend watching parties, or have anything to do with it at all, really. It’s weird, I live in Texas, and am totally …

I spend a lot of time around a lot of moms and while I understand what a tough job it is, there are some things that really set me off. Thing is…a lot of people think that because I don’t have kids of my own I don’t understand. But I disagree. Just because my uterus …

We all know that being healthy is directly affected by what we eat and we constantly hear that eating healthier is the best way to be healthier. While that all may be true, it lacks a major problem: not all healthy food is created equal. That can be an even bigger issue if you love to snack. So today we …

I do not like Valentine’s Day. I am not one of those women who doesn’t like Valentine’s Day because she doesn’t have someone to spend it with. Quite the contrary, in fact, I have a husband that would spend the entire day with me, buy me fancy gifts, candy, and flowers. But, I asked him …

Kids are sweet…and sometimes terrifying. While we love when they say the darndest things, sometimes the things they say make us want to check our bedroom locks a few extra times at night. Take this mom… Her daughter was given a simple assignment in school: If you were a superhero, who would you be and …

Have you ever picked up a lipstick or nail polish, read the name of it and just thought ” Uhhhhhh, what the eff?” Yeah, me too. There are some that are just a little weird, like “Nude Lust”, a lipstick from Maybelline (which is actually quite a nice color by the way), and we’re all …

Soap is one of those common household items that I never think about until I’m washing my hands and discover that I’ve only got the “water” part of “soap and water.” This happens to me way too often – someone should probably come and revoke my adult card. And I’m not saying that making my …

Reddit user bpwwhirl asked his wife to draw a picture of what’s on her mind. And…it’s a lot. And…it’s amazing. Basically, it’s the same things that are on all of our minds, I guess I’d just never seen it in picture form before… Yes, yes, yes, to all of this. Throw in a little bit about …

There’s a weird thing that happens when you’re the mom of all boys: people seem to expect you wish you’d had a girl. I don’t. My boys are my life and every time someone asks me if I’m going to try again until I have a girl, it’s like they’re dismissing the magic and joy …

It looked like an average party invitation, made on one of those do-it-yourself computer programs, printed and distributed in the school folder. One mommy’s darling was turning 8 and the whole class was invited to the community pool for swimming and a barbecue. It seemed harmless enough until the not-so-fine print revealed gift registry information …

Sometimes you find yourself with a weekend free, sometimes you find yourself kidless for just a couple of days, and the only thing to do is to pack up and visit FABULOUS LAS VEGAS for the weekend! I know what you’re thinking, “But, I don’t know how to plan a weekend getaway to Vegas!” If …

I say all the time how much I wish wish wish I’d been born a cat or dog just because they (at least mine) are so stinkin’ spoiled. Now I’ve got one more reason to wish I’d been born into another species: Dr. Evan Antin. Oh. Holy. Cow. Dr. Antin is an exotic (and sometimes …

I hadn’t heard the term ‘microaggression’ until maybe a few months ago, even though it’s apparently been around since the 1970’s. It’s like all the sudden a few months ago it was everywhere. People pointing out that this is a microaggression, or that is a microaggression, and the PC of the whole thing just made …

The other day I asked my ten-year-old daughter to bring me a Dr Pepper. She was in the kitchen and calls back, “It’s the last one, do you want it?” Yes, I want it. That’s why I asked. “Okay,” she says. And in she runs with my can of soda, only to stumble and drop …

Okay, let me start off by saying that I love the idea of using a Diva Cup. No tampons to fuss with, no scary toxic shock syndrome, less of an environmental impact; plus you save money. But- it’s easier said than done. Gird your loins, because we’re about to get messy. This is my Diva …

So by this point you should know that pumice stones are incredibly amazing at breaking through the hard shell of our winter feet and making them all pretty and stuff for flip flop season…but did you know there are other things you can do with them? I’m not talking beauty things, either. I mean, yeah …

Kate Blandford posted this ten little monkeys update on her Facebook page, and if you have kids, and have friends that have kids, it’s pretty much the best thing ever. Alone it’s funny, but then it got posted to reddit, and that’s when it took on a life of it’s own.  Nine little monkeys: Eight little …

It’s not that I need to live with my mom or anything, but there are definitely times Someone should be the adult of me. Like the last time I dated a guy and wanted to break up with him, it would have been nice for someone else to step in and say, “Mary can’t play …

I am Texas born and bred, when someone says, “It’s snowing outside” what they usually mean is “there’s a little bit of ice mixed in with the rain, and we are going to close down all schools and businesses for the next three days until it warms back up into the fifties, mmk?” That being said, …

So you have this idea in your head that you want to buy a new car. Great! Now really think about that for a second… uh, oh, those wheels start to turn (in your head that is) and you start thinking of the hassle of finding a car you love, within your budget, and from …

Dear Mom, I know you’re stressed, I could see it on your face. You looked exhausted, maybe even a little sick, yet you were still out shopping with your kid at 9:00 at night. It’s cold, mom. We were supposed to have snow today but the weather report changed so instead it’s just so bitterly …

We’ve all been there, your kid begs you for just a few more dollars just so they can get the “SUPER COOLEST TOY EVER.” Even though Christmas was just 2 weeks ago, and they haven’t even taken everything out of the packaging yet. Well, this dad, reddit user Otto303, figured out a way to combat …

Almost anyone with kids has spent more than their fair share of time sitting on those little plastic/metal chairs at McDonald’s, sipping away at a Coke, while the kids were burning off energy on the playground. And during that time, you may have also noticed that the Coke’s at Micky D’s are way better than …

That dream of one day having enough money to make all of your problems go away is never as prominent as when there’s the potential for a huge lottery win on the horizon. This Saturday’s Powerball drawing saw not a single person walking away with a ton of cash, meaning that the next drawing comes with a …

We may never solve the question of what happens to socks in the dryer that turns them from a pair to singletons, but that’s okay…because those single socks can be super useful on their own! Just ask Dobby the House Elf. I mean, all it took was one sock to free him from a lifetime …

I don’t even know how to start writing this. I’ve started it now three times and deleted it three times because it’s so embarrassing and frustrating and – what kind of a person makes up a kid? This kind. Me. Today I lied about being a mom and the second the lie slipped out of …

Be it the for holidays visiting family, vacation or if bi-coastal commuting is just a necessary party of your job, air travel has become as common as a round of antibiotics to fight the sniffles. Cram a hundred and fifty anxious-to-get-where-they’re-going people on a jet and there’s bound to be an issue or two. Still, …

When I was a kid, family game night usually involved a never-ending game of Monopoly in which I was forced to be the banker so that I might learn some math skills (that didn’t work very well), or my dad teaching me how to play poker (that worked a little better – getting to keep real …

Every year I face this challenge of what should my New Year’s resolutions be. I know a lot of people choose not to make any, but for me it’s something I’ve always enjoyed and looked forward to. But what I realized last year is that I always make these resolutions knowing full well there’s a …

This year, I decided instead of THINGS for Christmas, I wanted my family to have TIME. So, instead of presents under the tree when we woke up on Christmas morning, there were plane tickets in stockings and packed bags already in the car. And I will definitely be doing it again. One of the big …

So you know that thought experiment/icebreaker question about what three things you’d save if your house was on fire, assuming your family and pets were already safe? You’ve probably thought about the answer to that question before, but answer me this, dear reader: Do you even know where those three things are in your house …

Every time I find out a friend of mine is pregnant, I feel a moment of intense happiness and sheer pain all in the same breath. “Oh my goodness,” I exclaim, the ecstatic feelings winning out. “When are you due?” And then we start gushing together and share in that intimately happy moment of knowing …

With the smart phones, tablets and laptops and available to us nowadays, you’d think the human race would have figured out a decent way to keep ourselves organized on a day-to-day basis. If your life is chaos and you feel like there’s no time to get everything done in a day, it might be time to organize your …

Where do all these toys come from? How do they just keep accumulating? I swear I’m living in a less-fun version of Toy Story half the time, and if you have children too then I know you understand this constant struggle of keeping their toys put away and their rooms uncluttered. It just never seems to …

There are some things I forget about every single year when it comes to Christmas, but I’m determined to remember them for next year. I’m pretty sure they’re universal, too. Like that we all have someone in our family who tells inappropriate jokes around children. Or that grandma’s don’t always understand your sense of humor. …

Every year from when I was little until even now, I’ve always gotten a stocking for Christmas from my parents. It had candy, of course, and some little toy (or usually a gift card now), and an orange. When I was younger the orange would always roll away (or be nudged with a petulant toe) …

It’s the stuff of nightmares. The place that fills you with dread and causes beads of sweat to drip down your spine. It’s like a scene from a horror movie that makes you cower in your seat and cover your eyes. That’s right: It’s the basement. That unorganized mess of a room that you keep …

For a lot of reasons that are the fault of so many different people, I am not on speaking terms with my family. Most of them have unfriended me on Facebook, I don’t get birthday wishes on my wall or cards in the mail anymore from them. This is my life, and there isn’t anything …

When I taught kindergarten, I used to ring my little teacher bell every time I wanted my kids to change centers (one ding), clean up (two dings), or whatever. It was a quick way to let my kids know what I wanted them to do without yelling over them, and it made me look all in charge and …

Kids and dogs are surprisingly similar. I noticed this the first time a few years ago when I told my dog to sit and my (then) two-year-old niece followed suit. It’s like my eyes opened wide and I realized I had a whole new host of tools for working with kids. Since then, life has …

Working in an office is something that a lot of us busy moms do, and one of the toughest parts is avoiding the breakroom birthday cakes or sacks of candy that people brought in from home because they just can’t keep it in their house not one more minute. So, I’ve partnered with ZonePerfect Perfectly …

From decluttering, to choosing an agent, to packing your entire life into portable containers, there are few things in life more stressful than moving. Whether you’ve accepted a job in a new city, just finished construction on your dream home or you’re dodging eviction, no matter what way you slice it, moving bites a dirty …

When I was a kid, I knew about the big community helper jobs, the doctors, policemen, and teachers. I knew that I could grow up and have a career doing these things and that they were honorable and noble professions. I knew that my dad went into a factory that made bread and that we …

Every year I make New Years resolutions I know I’m going to break. A lot of us do. I mean, sure we go in with the best of intentions. We’re still slightly hungover from all the Christmas cookies we’ve been eating and all that we had to drink the night before (me? just me?) but …

You’re going to have to excuse my little ranty rant here, but I saw something the other day and it really stuck in my craw. I don’t actually know what that means, but that’s how upsetting it was. It was southern lady saying an expression that nobody actually understands upsetting. I was at the grocery …

The tween years are tough for kids. Their teeth are half adult, half baby – essentially making their mouths look like a living horror show. They still have those child faces, but they’re starting to grow body hair, breasts, and big feet. They still want bedtime kisses, but will literally (in their own minds, at …

Guys and gals, we need to have a talk. When was the last time you cleaned out your fridge? If your answer is “Probably the day I moved in,” then I’m not sure I want to visit your house until you’ve read this post about Organizing Your Refrigerator. We’ve all been there before: the week-old leftovers, …

So every once in a while you get to go on a mom date with your mom friends, no kids, no husbands, and it’s the most magical time of womanly bonding you’ve ever had in your entire life. But then it happens. Maybe she’s got a cold. Maybe she’s just exhausted from literally staying up …

How many hours a day do you typically spend in your car? If you said “too many,” then I totally know the feeling. Why don’t teleportation devices that actually work exist yet? But I digress…If you spend a lot of time in your car, and especially if you spend a lot of time in your …

Okay, folks. We are down to the wire. Christmas is literally around the corner and if you’re starting to feel that panic of realizing you left one of the men in your life off your Christmas list, don’t worry! We’ve got your back. With Amazon Prime you’ve Still Got Time. So, take a deep breath, …

While I have a great relationship with my mother, we didn’t exactly bond over Saturday afternoon window shopping or lessons on how to apply the appropriate amount of lip stick. There are definitely some things my mother should’ve told me… Being raised in the 40’s and 50’s and within a highly conservative environment, the feminist …

This might be a personal missive, I’m not sure yet, so before you get your pitchforks and torches out, know that I’m writing this with love…and mostly to my two breastfeeding sister-in-laws. Look, ladies (gives SIL’s a stern look), I love that you breastfeed. I am all for you popping those big ol’ mama jamas …

I feel so badly for the Donald Trump supporters right now. I mean, we’re supposed to live in a nation of political freedom, and yet they’re being treated like pariah in their own country. The truth is, you have every right to vote for whomever you choose and if you choose Trump, that is absolutely …

Coffee with your ex-husband is an art. I’ve been divorced for several years now, my ex-husband and I have moved on and both have serious significant others. It’s pretty safe to say we are over most of the emotion that comes with ending a marriage, and are now just committed to giving our daughter the best …

If you know me personally, you know that I’m usually pretty good in social situations. I’m quick with the wit, don’t always smell bad, and remember to flush. But my husband’s grandmother makes me nervous. She’s old world, as in schooled at a French convent, forks in the right place, English isn’t her first language …

My daughter is in the fifth grade, so she’s known the truth about the whole SANTA thing for a while. But, when it came up I was completely unprepared. We were getting our nails done right before Easter, and she leaned over to me across her pedicure chair. “Mom, tell it to me straight– there’s …

I totally get it. It’s that time of year when we are supposed to be reflecting on life, love, and all that is good, and instead you are standing in line at 4am waiting on the latest TickleMe-Hover-Poke-Furby and wishing you’d worn more sensible shoes. This is the month when we, as moms, completely forget …

It seems that no matter how much I vow that this year will be different, I Always seem to gain weight over the holidays. It’s like the siren call of cookies and egg nog is too much for me to bear and every single year I’ve struggled with guilt over it. And that sucks. I …