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Totally The Bomb
Home / Jamie Says

Jamie Says

Want some poorly written advice from a hot mess? Well, you’re welcome.

Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Waking up happy is a thing

A serene close-up of daisies held by a hand with a beautiful sunset background.
Jamie Says

He Didn’t Love Me. He Loved Being Loved By Me.

Stylish yellow high-top sneakers hanging on a vibrant pink painted door.
Jamie Says

Why Can’t I Relax? Relearning Peace After Trauma

Close-up of hands forming a heart shape with clear blue sky background.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Silence Is Loud When You’ve Been Hurt

Close-up of a couple joyfully holding keys to their new home, symbolizing new beginnings and home ownership.
Jamie Says

Do I Warn the Woman He Moved In With?

Young woman with a modern prosthetic arm showcasing advanced technology.
Jamie Says

Did My Brain Disconnect?

Woman immersed in virtual reality, surrounded by tech, in a dimly lit room.
Jamie Says

Did my brain finally break?

Close-up image of various personalized love padlocks symbolizing commitment and affection.
Jamie Says

Why Was I the Secret?

Wire basket with dirty dishes among potted plants in vibrant setting.
Jamie Says

I hate doing dishes. So much.

A pastel pink crystal with a soft focus on a textured surface, perfect for meditation themes.
Jamie Says

Healing Sucks. I am so over it.

A positive message sign "You are worthy of love" in a park setting.
Jamie Says

Embracing Self-Reliance: My Journey to Self-Worth

semi charmed life
Jamie Says

Semi-Charmed Life: What’s the Price of Living Your Dream?

Slot machine
Jamie Says

I Don’t Know Why I Tell My Story

American football player wearing red uniform holding ball on grassy field during day game.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I never thought I’d make it this far. 

Overhead view of a raw, whole chicken with rosemary and spices on a wooden board.
Jamie Says

The year I lost myself

It’s All In My Head, I Think
Jamie Says

It’s All In My Head, I Think

Is it really me? Am I the magic?
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Is it really me? Am I the magic?

me in my Dunkin’ track suit
Jamie Says

It’s Okay To Work Really, Really Hard

Fresh cut broccoli florets placed in a green colander, highlighting vibrant colors and freshness.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Broccoli Knows When It’s Being Eaten

Green, Blue, and Pink Kettle Bells on Blue Surface
Jamie Says

Can I hurt your feelings?

White Paper With Note
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I never planned for this… 

Waterproof Boots
Jamie Says

Today I wore my stomping boots to court.

Pink Harmonica
Jamie Says

The little harmonica that’s keeping me sane right now 

Scarlet O’Hara Is The Original Manic Pixie Dream Girl
Jamie Says

Scarlet O’Hara Is The Original Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Red Cradle Telephone on Brown Wooden Surface
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I mean, I don’t want to die alone

Russian Blue Kitten on Brown Woven Basket
Jamie Says

Little white lies are for you, not me

Person Writing on White Paper
Jamie Says

An Open Letter To the mother of my abuser (AKA: My Mother-In-Law)

Black and Green Luggage Bag on Brown Carpet
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Just freakin’ leave

Unpacked boxes in middle of room
Jamie Says

I can’t find my keys, we have to walk home

tiki mask
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Fun fact about being choked to the point of passing out

Back view of faceless female with dyed hair wearing sleeveless shirt standing against pink background
Jamie Says

I owe you a huge apology

Dry Rose Flower Next to Broken Heart-shaped Cookie
Jamie Says

Why am I finally talking about the abusive marriage I’ve been in for ten years? 

In February I went to jail for squishing my husband’s burrito. 
Jamie Says

In February I went to jail for squishing my husband’s burrito. 

A Word Breath Written on a Notebook
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Strangling To Kill And Strangling For Control Are Two Different Things

Free stock photo of appartment, at home, at table
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I think I understand what I am mourning

Selective Focus Photography of Black Rotary Phone
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

To the two friends who called me today.

Creative Sorry Sign
Jamie Says | Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy

I am so very sorry…

I Hate Nothing About You With Red Heart Light
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

What does it take to heal?

I’m scared of who I meet deciding they don’t like me if my looks change
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

I’m scared of who I meet deciding they don’t like me if my looks change

Brown Rope Tangled and Formed Into Heart Shape on Brown Wooden Rail
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Connecting feels so foreign 

Flat-lay Photo of Fruits and Vegetables
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I didn’t write this post… 

Slice of Ripe Apple
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

How a squat challenge is saving me

Tilt Lens Photography of White Flowers
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Purity culture shame and all that 

Legs on Bed
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

How do you wake up next to a new guy in the middle of night sweats? 

Closeup Photo of Primate
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy

No, I won’t be taking care of you anymore

Orange Van Die-cast Model on Pavement
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

Running Away Isn’t The Move Here

My Saved By the Bell Moment
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells | Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy | Writing

My Saved By the Bell Moment

Pink Background With Speech Bubble
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

Do you still think I’m pretty? 

Heart shaped baking tin with small confetti on surface for Valentine day
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

What if I never feel bliss again? 

Unrecognizable woman holding paw of dog
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy

How am I ever going to learn to trust people at their word again?

I won $700 yesterday
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Places You Wish You Were

I won $700 yesterday

Life is Like A Slow Cooker Breakfast… Or Something Weird Like That
Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day | Delicious Food | Jamie Says | Slow Cooker Cafe

Life is Like A Slow Cooker Breakfast… Or Something Weird Like That

Waiting Room with Green Sofas
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Go sit somewhere else… 

Selective Focus Photography of Woman Holding Book
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Why did I stop doing what I love? 

Looking for a Friend Bear
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

What if lonely isn’t a bad thing? 

Traffic Light Showing Stop Sign
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Find friends that protect your peace

Broken Heart Cardboard on Brown Wooden Table Top
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I Soft-Launched My Separation via My Newsletter 

Close-Up Shot of a Cocktail Drink
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

This Sangria Was So Gross

Green Leafed Plant on Sand
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

It’s Hard To Give Back When You’re In Survival Mode

Woman Sitting On Green Grass Field
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Calling Women Karens Has Us Scared To Ask For What We Deserve

Black Handled Key on Key Hole
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

GenX Women Stopped Using Their Voices

Woman in Silver V-neck Long-sleeved Dress
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Why Do We Start Friendships With Trauma Dumps? 

Close-Up Photo of Pink Piggy Bank
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Do You Know Your Own Worth?

Close-up of a funny ostrich with an open beak against a natural outdoor background.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Being An Empty Nester Has Turned Me Into The Crazy Neighborhood Lady

Bartender Serving Two Flavored Cocktails
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I’ve Been Going Alone To Social Places And It’s Glorious

Green Indoor Potted Plant Lot
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

What Hobbies Are Middle Aged Women Even Into?

Women Are So Hungry For Connection Right Now, And I Need To Know Why
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Women Are So Hungry For Connection Right Now, And I Need To Know Why

Best Friend Break Ups Suck And We Need To Talk About It
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Best Friend Break Ups Suck And We Need To Talk About It

They Stole My Voice And Used It To Train AI
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

They Stole My Voice And Used It To Train AI

Step Walk Banana
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

They’re Going To Complain, You Should Just Do What You Want To

Befriending Crows, Finding Joy, and What The Heck Do I Do Now?
Books That Don't Suck | Jamie Says | Writing

Befriending Crows, Finding Joy, and What The Heck Do I Do Now?

Because Yeah, I am Like, Totally The Bomb, Right? Gulp…
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Because Yeah, I am Like, Totally The Bomb, Right? Gulp…

That Time I Hiked Up a Mountain for an Arby’s Burger 🍔🏞️
Delicious Food | Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Secret Menu Items | Snacks Make Me Happy

That Time I Hiked Up a Mountain for an Arby’s Burger 🍔🏞️

halle senior
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy

Ten Things I Want My Graduating Senior To Know

How To Dye Easter Eggs With Kool-Aid
Crafts You Won't Make | Jamie Says | Stuff You Won't Make

How To Dye Easter Eggs With Kool-Aid

Dear Teachers, Words Are Not Enough To Thank You For All That You’ve Done
Happy Happy, Joy Joy | Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Dear Teachers, Words Are Not Enough To Thank You For All That You’ve Done

Dear Teachers, Thank You For Doing The Impossible…
Happy Happy, Joy Joy | Jamie Says

Dear Teachers, Thank You For Doing The Impossible…

Decorate Easter Eggs With Glitter
Crafts You Won't Make | Jamie Says | Stuff You Won't Make

Decorate Easter Eggs With Glitter

Here’s What Life is Like After The Covid Vaccine
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

Here’s What Life is Like After The Covid Vaccine

The Weekend’s Halftime Show Gave People Headaches and Made Them Nauseous
Jamie Says | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

The Weekend’s Halftime Show Gave People Headaches and Made Them Nauseous

The Weekend Just Had The Worst Halftime Show Of All Time
Jamie Says | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

The Weekend Just Had The Worst Halftime Show Of All Time

Here’s Why Everyone Is Talking About Dogecoin Right Now
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says | These Things Are Better Than Your Things

Here’s Why Everyone Is Talking About Dogecoin Right Now

Gamestop Stock Is Over, DOGECOIN Is the Next Investment. So, Get In NOW.
Jamie Says | Pop Goes The Culture

Gamestop Stock Is Over, DOGECOIN Is the Next Investment. So, Get In NOW.

Make A Spiced & Ginger Cocktail
Delicious Food | Drink Up | Jamie Says

Make A Spiced & Ginger Cocktail

Make A Coco Conga Cocktail
Delicious Food | Drink Up | Jamie Says

Make A Coco Conga Cocktail

Screen Time Limits Right Now Are Ridiculous. Get Over It.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

Screen Time Limits Right Now Are Ridiculous. Get Over It.

I Got The Covid Vaccine. Here’s What It’s Like.
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

I Got The Covid Vaccine. Here’s What It’s Like.

Here’s How To Talk To Your Kids About What Is Happening In The US Right Now…
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

Here’s How To Talk To Your Kids About What Is Happening In The US Right Now…

Trump’s Tweets Are Proof He’s Too Unstable To Lead For The Next 14 Days. Change My Mind.
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

Trump’s Tweets Are Proof He’s Too Unstable To Lead For The Next 14 Days. Change My Mind.

Here’s What The US Capitol Looks Like Right Now
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

Here’s What The US Capitol Looks Like Right Now

Those Definitely Weren’t Cobras In Cobra Kai…
Jamie Says | Netflix Binge | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

Those Definitely Weren’t Cobras In Cobra Kai…

FYI Mystic Pizza is Back On Netflix. You’re Welcome.
Jamie Says | Netflix Binge | Obsessively Awesome Movies | Pop Goes The Culture

FYI Mystic Pizza is Back On Netflix. You’re Welcome.

10 Reasons Why BRIDGERTON Is Television Perfection
Jamie Says | Netflix Binge | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

10 Reasons Why BRIDGERTON Is Television Perfection

Netflix’s New Series BRIDGERTON Is A Scandalous Romp and I’m Here For It
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says | Netflix Binge | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

Netflix’s New Series BRIDGERTON Is A Scandalous Romp and I’m Here For It

I Am Putting Up My Tree Today. Deal With It.
Heavy Handed Advice | Jamie Says

I Am Putting Up My Tree Today. Deal With It.

Freeform’s 25 Days Of Christmas Marathon Schedule
Jamie Says | Obsessively Awesome Movies | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

Freeform’s 25 Days Of Christmas Marathon Schedule

This Children’s Book Helps Kids Who Are Scared Of Masks
Books That Don't Suck | Jamie Says

This Children’s Book Helps Kids Who Are Scared Of Masks

RIP Ruth Bader Ginsburg, You Showed Our Little Girls How To Be Awesome
Hot Off The Press | Jamie Says

RIP Ruth Bader Ginsburg, You Showed Our Little Girls How To Be Awesome

Cobra Kai Is The Best Thing On TV And I Will Fight Anyone That Says Different
Jamie Says | Netflix Binge | Pop Goes The Culture | Television Kills Brain Cells

Cobra Kai Is The Best Thing On TV And I Will Fight Anyone That Says Different

Teenage Girls Are Dressing Like 1920’s Prairie Ladies And Calling It Cottagecore
Jamie Says | Pop Goes The Culture | Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy

Teenage Girls Are Dressing Like 1920’s Prairie Ladies And Calling It Cottagecore

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Hi! I'm Jamie.

I am an actual hotline Psychic and Best Selling Author. I spend a lot of time writing here, because if I don't then I spend a lot of time just saying all of this stuff to my friends, and honestly this is just easier. 🦩

Wanna know more? It's here.

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