The Guy At The Coffee Shop Thinks I Pee in the Dark

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I spend a lot of time at my local coffee shop. I drop the daughter off at school most days, and then trek it on over so I can write, work, or just whatever the heck else I need to get done in the mornings.

It makes me keep a real-life work schedule even though I don’t have to have one.

Anyway, I’ve sort of gotten to know the people that work there. Not like we’re buddies that hang out together on the weekends or anything–but I would smile and say hi if I ran into them at the grocery store.

Since I’m there for a few hours at a time, I’m pretty used to their restroom.

I’m not much for public restrooms. (Who is, really?) But, they keep them clean, and sometimes you just gotta do your thing. I’ve even developed a sort of routine. I wash my hands, take the paper towel, open up the door, flip off the light and then throw the towel in the trash.

What? So, I’m being a bit germaphobic? Blame it on Oprah–she did a thing once all about fecal matter on restroom doors–NASTY.

Well, one day I got off on my routine. I dried my hands, then reached up with my paper towel and turned out the light. Okay, no biggie–I’m not OCD or anything, so I just opened the door.

Problem was at the same time I went to open the door (which auto unlocks when you open it), the guy that works behind the counter was opening it from the outside.

At which point I let out a little startled squeal, and so did he–but then, all he could say over and over again was, “I looked and there was no light coming from under the door. Seriously, I looked–there was no light.”

And, instead of saying I turned off the light then threw away the towel–or ANYTHING like that–I just gave him a wide-eyed stare instead. THAT was my opportunity to set him straight, but of course I didn’t. Nope, I picked that very moment to say nothing.

Now, it’s been WAY too long for me to bring up the incident, because if I did, he would think I was crazycakes. But, I know he remembers it, and so do I. It’s SO awkward every time I talk to him, and I KNOW it’s all he’s thinking about. Right? I mean, it has to be!

My guess is… he probably tells everyone about the nutty pink-haired lady who pees in the dark.

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