Let me ask you something – when is the last time you did NOTHING?
I mean, literally nothing? To the point you were so bored, you almost felt like you were going crazy from all the nothingness?
My guess is, it’s been about 81 years…right?
We live in a society where chaos is seen as normal and being busy = success.
And let’s be honest, in this society, procrastination has long been seen as the enemy of productivity, but what if I told you that it’s actually a fine art worth mastering?
That’s right, my fellow dawdlers, it’s time to embrace your inner sloth and learn how to excel at doing absolutely nothing.
I’ve got some easy to follow steps that will make you a certified procrastination connoisseur in no time.
And you can thank me after your long-awaited nap. I’ll wait…
The Art of Procrastination: How to Master the Skill of Doing Absolutely Nothing
Create the Perfect Procrastination Space
Every great artist needs a studio, and the master procrastinator is no exception.
Find a comfortable spot in your home where you can avoid distractions, like that pesky to-do list or a nagging partner.
A cozy couch, a plush armchair, or even a pillow fort will do the trick. The key is to create an environment where relaxation and idleness can flourish.
Oh and got kids? Yeah, just drop them off at grandma’s house with no warning. I mean, she can’t say no when they are already there, right? (this goes for furry kids too)
Develop Your Time-Wasting Toolkit
A true procrastination prodigy knows that a wide variety of time-wasting tools is essential. Some favorites include social media, online shopping, YouTube rabbit holes, and, of course, binge-watching.
As you hone your skills, you’ll discover your personal procrastination preferences, like scrolling through memes or watching cat videos.
No judgement here – pick your time-wasting poison and get to it…
Master the Art of Mind-Wandering
To excel in the realm of procrastination, you must learn to let your mind wander. Embrace daydreaming as your new best friend, and allow your thoughts to meander aimlessly.
Whether you’re pondering what you’d do with a million dollars or mentally redecorating your living room, the goal is to keep your brain occupied with anything but the task at hand.
Embrace the Power of the Snooze Button
The snooze button is a procrastinator’s most powerful ally. It grants you those precious extra minutes (or hours) of doing absolutely nothing.
When you feel the urge to be productive creeping in, hit the snooze button and drift back into dreamland, secure in the knowledge that you’re nurturing your procrastination prowess.
Master the Art of Delegation
Sometimes, there’s no avoiding a task that simply must be done. In such dire circumstances, a skilled procrastinator turns to delegation.
Convince a friend, family member, or coworker to take on your unwanted tasks with a combination of charm, persuasion, and, if necessary, bribery.
Remember, the goal is to maintain your dedication to doing nothing. AT. ALL. COSTS.
Celebrate Your Procrastination Achievements
As you ascend the ranks of procrastination mastery, take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments.
Did you successfully spend an entire day binge-watching a TV show? Congratulate yourself! Have you scrolled so far back on someone’s Instagram that you’ve reached their first post? Give yourself a pat on the back! Celebrating your progress is essential in becoming a true procrastination artist.
So there you have it, the steps to mastering the art of procrastination and perfecting the skill of doing absolutely nothing.
While some may say that procrastination is a waste of time, remember that it’s also a testament to your creativity, resilience, and dedication to the pursuit of leisure. Now, go forth and procrastinate like a pro!
And now, go take a nap!