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I Don’t Want Daughters, And I Wish You’d Stop Asking…

There’s a weird thing that happens when you’re the mom of all boys: people seem to expect you wish you’d had a girl. I don’t. My boys are my life and every time someone asks me if I’m going to try again until I have a girl, it’s like they’re dismissing the magic and joy I get from just having boys. So here’s my answer, for everyone who thinks they should butt into my life: I don’t want daughters, and I wish you’d stop asking…

just boys

See, now you’re probably wondering if there’s some weird reason I didn’t want to be a mom of girls, and the simple answer is, no. When my first son was born I was terrified. What if I didn’t know what to do with him? What if he just wanted to play ball, or spit, or pee on things and what if I wasn’t the mom he needed me to be?

Then as he got a bit older it became really clear that the only person he needs me to be is his mom. I know it might sound selfish, but I love being the main squeeze in my sons life. I love that when he wants to be rough and tumble, he goes to dad, but the second he gets hurt, it’s all about me. When he wants kisses, I’m his gal. When he needs that little bit longer hug, I’m the one.

It’s this special, incredible bond and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

A few years after my first was born, I got pregnant again, and found out I was having a second boy.

He’s beautiful. Let me just start by saying that.

Not that I’m biased, or anything.

The second time around, I knew better what to expect. Hold the diaper over the peep unless I want a shower. Boys fight, but as long as there isn’t blood, it’s okay. Weird creatures are part of the package. And farts, oh farts are totally funny!

The biggest difference with my second is realizing just how much I love being a mama to boys. Not just the hugs and love, but the whole boy-ness of it. I love exploring outside. I love the rough and tumble. I love that my boys have a very hands-on approach to their world and that I get to see things through their eyes.

Sure, if I had a daughter she might want to be a tomboy and I’d still get to see the world the same way, but there’s a chance she’d want to be a girly-girl.

And while some moms want the hair, and girly giggles, and pink, and flowers, I’m not them.

If someday I have a girl (huge if), I will love her. I swear I will. And I’m sure I’ll fall in love with everything about her the same way I did with my boys, but right now I love my life the way it is.

So yes, I’m the mom of ‘just boys’, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Elizabeth

Wednesday 23rd of August 2017

I have 3 girls n when my 3rd girl was born a lady asked my mum if I was disappointed with having yet another girl. It never bothered us not having a boy our girls were our world. If we were meant to have a son We would have had one. We live near the sea n spent childhood years exploring, swimming, rock jumping n crab fishing. Girls can do n enjoy all the stuff boys do n still be girlie girls. They grew up n my eldest went on to have 3 girls one of which was an angel baby we never got to spoil. N not having a boy never bothered any of us. My 2nd daughter then had a boy n everyone was aww u have yr wee boy now isn't it great. Yes it is great i have another grandchild whom a love regardless of gender. I loved being a mother n I love being a grandmother my youngest is having a baby soon n I don't care what sex this baby is it's my grandchild whom I will love n spoil. A child is a child sent to us to loved n cherished. A mother's love in unconditional its not i love my children because they are boys or girls but because they are mine....

Abbie

Wednesday 23rd of August 2017

This is perfectly said! I am fortunate to have three healthy kids and they happen to be boys. We did not find out the gender for any of them because we didn't care - healthy baby was all we wished for. Sure it's convenient with passing on clothes, sports and friends for them to be the same but we never take for granted they are healthy & gifts from God. Stay blessed & thankful!

Alan

Wednesday 10th of May 2017

I completely understand what you're saying. I have three kids, the first two girls, the youngest, a boy. And I cringe inside every single time someone says to me "oh, a boy, you must be so happy" or "Now you've got your boy" or "now you've got your girl and boy". I resent those comments, especially if they are said in front of my daughters. How would that make them feel: "Daddy didn't want us?", "Now, at last he's happy?" Hell no. I tell each person every single time "I would have been just as happy with another girl. Not because it's PC, because it's the truth. I have had to learn tons of girl things, tying ponytails and painting nails to name a few, but my main love is sport and so we go for runs, we play tennis, we throw and kick balls and we cycle around the neighbourhood. Passion is infectious, if I am passionate about something, my kids will naturally be interested in it - it doesn't matter if you have different bits. And vice-versa: if they're passionate about nails and hair, then I get better at doing THOSE things, too.

Elizabeth

Wednesday 23rd of August 2017

I have all girls n they loved all the girlie stuff n then went outside n played football, wrestling, fishing, rock jumping etc children will do the stuff parents take the time to do with them regardless of their gender. My husband has been covered in makeup, nail polish and also bruises from being wrestled by all 3. All the stuff people think u do with sons my girls have done with their dad n me. Enjoy their childhood treasure every minute as they grow up way too fast..

naprawa ipad

Thursday 13th of April 2017

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Kelly R

Wednesday 23rd of November 2016

I am the mother of three beautiful boys and love it that way. I often get asked if I will "try for that girl" or even "don't you want a girl?" Speaking from someone who gets that all the time, I have to honestly say......I think you might be a little over sensitive. Girl, It's called small talk. And I find mostly good natured.

As for, they are "dismissing the magic" of having boys. Who in the world has power to dismiss that with an off the cuff remark? Perhaps you need to make the decision that these other people's opinion or comments will not affect you quite so much. It comes across as more of your issue than their's.

Rebecca

Friday 22nd of April 2016

Stop complaining. Most people see you have all boys and just want to make small talk so they ask the most obvious question, "Do you ever wish you had a girl?"... probably not really caring what your answer is but only wanting to get a conversation going with you. Blogs are annoying and people moan about the most meaningless things.