I was supposed to write an article talking about how ranch dressing on pizza is just about the most disgusting thing ever.
I was supposed to talk about how ranch dressing makes pizza taste like sour milk, and belongs in the trash instead of on the pizza pie.
But, here is the thing. I love ranch dressing on pizza. I can’t, in good conscience, talk about how gross it is, when it is actually quite amazing.
I like to fancy up my pizza. I brush a bit of fresh garlic butter on top, add a splash of Frank’s RedHot, and then dunk that b**** in the cool, buttermilk gold that is ranch dressing.
If you want to know the SECRET to a fantastic pizza feast, make your own ranch dressing! The bottle simply will NOT do.
It is quite easy to make, and I never actually make it the same way twice. I usually use exactly what I have on hand in the kitchen, and it NEVER turns out bad.
Mayonnaise, milk, sour cream are a good base. Then you can add garlic — fresh is the way to go here. I also throw in chives, parsley, dried dill, and onion powder. Salt and cracked pepper are a must. All of this is just to taste.
Sometimes — if I have it on hand — I use a little lemon juice. Otherwise, I skip it.
Here is my super secret ingredient. I add a good hefty squirt of Sriracha sauce. It makes it just about the best thing ever!
If I’m feeling really decadent, I throw in some blue cheese crumbles — which I always have in the fridge, because I LOVE them.
I make it thick enough to be dippable, but not too thick that I can’t use the leftovers on a side salad.
Then, I dunk my pineapple and jalapeno pizza — Yes, I also think pineapples belong on pizza — straight into that delicious homemade ranch, and drift off to heaven.
If you are going to force my hand, and NEED a recipe, I got ya, Boo. Remember, this dressing is to YOUR taste. Feel free to change it up to your liking.
- 1/3 Cup Mayonnaise
- 1/3 Cup Sour Cream
- 1 Tablespoon Milk -- Or more if it's too thick
- 1/2 teaspoon Fresh Minced Garlic
- 1/2 teaspoon Chives
- 1/2 teaspoon Dill
- 1/2 teaspoon Parsley
- 1/4 teaspoon Onion Powder
- 1 Good Squirt of Sriracha
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- Squeeze of Lemon -- If you have it
- 1 Tablespoon Blue Cheese Crumbles -- Optional
Are you ready for this?
1. Place all of the ingredients in a big bowl, and mix them together with a whisk or fork.
2. Taste it to see if you need to add any more of the ingredients.
3. Place the dressing in a sealable container, and keep it in the fridge. It will get MORE flavorful if you let it hang out in the fridge for at LEAST 12 hours before you enjoy it.
4. Use it to dunk your pizza, or use it on a salad.