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Oh No, Not The Spam!

When I was a teenager I had the coolest best friend.

We’ve since drifted apart, but she was seriously one of the neatest people I’ve ever met, and I’m the person I am today because of our friendship.

I drove this Ford Bronco II that was adorable, but not exactly the greatest car on the planet or anything.

I had to add oil like twice a week, it would overheat in the dead of summer and we’d have to drive around with the heater on… and let’s not even talk about the weird smell that came with that.

At one point we were out being all teenagery- and we decided to stop at Kmart but we didn’t really have anything we needed to buy.

So, we picked up a can of SPAM.

Look, neither of us was about to eat it or anything, and this was before SPAM = Viagra emails–we just thought the word was funny and we’d never actually seen the stuff.

But, we wimped out, and neither of us could open it. So we just put it up on the dashboard of my car. (In Texas, in 108 degree summer heat.)

I know what you’re thinking here. You’re thinking you know where this story is going, right?

The spam explodes and covers my car in a spray of Hormel’s pre-cooked finest.



That can never even so much as bulged. I kept it in my car for three years, and every time it slid across the dahsboard, everyone in my car yelled out in their most dramatic voice, “Oh no, Not the Spaaaaam!”

We always thought that can would come open, but it never did.

I wonder if my mom kept it. I think it’s probably in a plastic tub somewhere in their store room. Man, she’s going to kill me if it gets all over everything…

Now, it’s your turn–tell me something about your first car… or your best friend from high school…


Monday 29th of March 2010

My BFF from HS really WAS the bomb. She was a year older, she had a brand new TEAL(!) Camaro convertible.

Yeah, we were BA.

'Cept I think I was the 'non-threatening not as attractive best friend side kick.'

Yeah, I might need to rethink that friendship. .-= @jmartinlibrary´s last blog ..DIVINE MISFORTUNE by A. Lee Martinez =-.


Monday 29th of March 2010

ohhh is it wrong that I wish I had a teal camaro?


Monday 29th of March 2010

My best friend then is still my best friend. I gave her, plus 2 other friends, a ride to school every day in my stylin' 88 Isuzu Impulse-- the window was duct taped to the door so it would stay up, the brakes were sketchy and it wouldn't shift to third if the AC was on. But the main thing we remember is playing "find a song that the BFF doesn't know." Because although I still love her dearly, singing is not her strong suit.

Also, I used to have a SPAM shirt. :)


Monday 29th of March 2010

@Kate, HAHA! I love it, also... I totally want a SPAM shirt...

To The Internet!


Monday 29th of March 2010

My first car was an 85 (? I think) grey Chevy Celebrity. That thing was a BEAST.

The a/c didn't work, the cassette player didn't work. The gear shift was on the floor...which made a convenient spot for leaking exhaust to come through. YIKES!

It ran through a quart of oil like every other day and did I mention that you could not open the driver's door from the inside?

This didn't present much of a problem until the automatic window stopped working. Then, in order to get out of my car, I had to lower the rear driver side window and reach my arm around through that window and open my door from the outside.

I walked around for over a year with a permanent bruise on the inside of my left arm, just below the elbow, where my arm would wrap around the window frame.

Damn I miss that beast. .-= Rhonda´s last blog ..My Laptop, Myself.. =-.


Monday 29th of March 2010

@Rhonda, HAHA When I think back on the cars our parents gave us, I wonder what the heck they were THINKING letting us drive around in those things!


Monday 29th of March 2010

My first car was a tank. A 73 cranberry Cutlass that my parents brought my brother home from the hospital in.

That car was made of metal and we'd hatch bets on it going against a train and emerging unscathed.

The passenger side door took on water when it rained and the A/C only worked when I hit the brakes. Did I mention it was only built for AM radio?

The meat of the story is this, my friends wouldn't even call it a car, it was always, "The Machine". .-= Ellise´s last blog ..Like a clean slate… =-.


Monday 29th of March 2010

@Ellise, HAHA I LOVE It. My car back then had a name too, we called it Buckie. Why don't I name my cars anymore?


Monday 29th of March 2010

My parents gave me a 91 Ford Ranger. I loved that truck. It had a weird seating arrangement where the two in the back would face each other. 4 people had always been a bit to much for comfort.

My BFF sat in the back and as she was trying to get out she stepped on her skirt accidentally mooning everyone.

A new rule was born, no one in the back with skirts. .-= Jeannie´s last blog ..Science Fiction makes people think =-.


Monday 29th of March 2010

@Jeannie, OHMIGOSH! I rode in the back of these with this kind of seating arrangement one time for like four hours down to the coast. I was seventeen, and I'd had two wine coolers. I threw up ALL OVER the back window. It was awesome--in that it wasn't awesome AT ALL.