I mean, you know they are a special blessing, and the mounting responsibility to love nurture and protect them from everything is not only an exhausting but not a realistic expectation. You make sure you let them  know how important they are, how much they are loved and you actually are listening to them and not just ignored.

But, honestly there are so many things they are bombarded with on the daily that its hard to know how to combat all the influences, harsh words, slights or just bad days your children will encounter.

How do you know you loved your children enough?? How do you let them know?

My middle child often thinks he’s forgotten, but the truth is he’s my heart. And I never want him to forget that.

To My Middle Child: I Promise I Love You Just As Much

Dearest Jaji,

I know that being the middle child of 5 isn’t easy, theres a lot of times I know you feel like you aren’t heard or seen. That you are just a number when we’re out and a head count is being done to make sure we have all our “lil monkeys” accounted for. 

This so-called Middle Child Syndrome consists of feelings of lonesomeness and at times you seem as if you have been forgotten, but my sweet son you are not forgotten. You hold a special place in this family.

You are the one that both your older and younger siblings come to. You have always been the perfect age for either one to play with, you may feel you are too young for some things, but too old for others.

No dear, you’re just right.

It’s because of you we’ve instituted “ra-sham-bo” (rock, paper, scissors) to settle who gets to go first, who gets shotgun, washes or puts up dishes, and far too many more instances to list.

You’ve caused us to think outside of the box and be better and more creative parents. What a blessing this has been, you have taught me so much in your 12 years here.

You are so full of compassion and love for those around you. You are the one who wants justice and fairness to prevail. You are a peacemaker, not one to jump into any conflict, but for what is right you will.

You possess an inner strength that is admirable. Your patience and love is truly amazing.

There are times the you feel taken advantage of because of your kindness and no one appreciates what you do, but your example is far louder than anything you can or will say.

You have always been such an independent child, from the time you were able to scoot off and play, you would go play alone or with your older sibling, mostly you’d play alone.  

You were so content either way.  You have always been your own person, strong in your personality, not caring what others think. That’s such an admirable characteristic.

You my dear are a leader, a free thinker, a visionary, a lover of life. I think being the middle child you have learned to use humor to deflect any pain you may feel.

I can tell when something is wrong, when you try extra hard to be funny, or turn into EYEORE when things are bad and gloomy.

When I know you’re hurting, and I want to take that from you.

I want you to know that I will always be that soft place for you to fall, that open heart to help carry any burden you are carrying, that open ear to listen, those open arms for hugs we all need.

My middle child, you have taught me so much about charity, love and acceptance.

Jaji, you are wise beyond your years, full of love, and your quirky ‘Jaji-isms’ are things that drive me crazy (but I would not ever change anything about you). You hold a special place in my heart and I try to show you that I hear you and love you as much as the others.

My mothers heart is big enough for all the love I feel now and as it grows day by day for my children.

All of my children.

Love,

Mom

I know you’re stressed, I could see it on your face. You looked exhausted, maybe even a little sick, yet you were still out shopping with your kid at 9:00 at night. It’s cold, mom. We were supposed to have snow today but the weather report changed so instead it’s just so bitterly cold. Your child was bundled, but her shoes were off.

I was down the aisle from you when she started screaming. I don’t know how old she is, maybe four or five, but definitely old enough not to have tantrums in the store. Other people were staring, and you just ignored the screams. An older lady walked down the aisle past me and in passing said it was a shame that moms like you don’t know what to do with their kids.

Your cart wasn’t overflowing, but it was definitely filling up. Cereal, bread, lunchmeat, dinner stuff. I’m guessing this was your weekly shopping trip and even though I never saw your grocery list, from the aisle you were in it’s likely you still had a long way to go.

Though I didn’t mean to, I was following you through the store. We had a lot of the same things to buy. And your kid screamed and or cried the entire time. People stared. I saw one woman actually stop and say something to you and you apologized to her.

I wish you hadn’t.

To be honest, mom. You are amazing. I don’t know why you were out so late, but I’m guessing you wouldn’t have been if you’d had any choice in the matter. I saw when your daughter kicked off her shoes and instead of turning it into a battle, you popped them into your purse and kept going. That was smart.

I realize a lot of people probably wished you would have left, or taken your daughter somewhere to deal with the tantrum, or done something about the scream, but the truth is, mom, sometimes kids scream.

I don’t know your story. I don’t know if your child is sick, or tired, or in a bad mood…maybe your child is autistic, or maybe she was just angry because you didn’t buy the cereal she wanted, but none of that is my business.

This letter is me telling you that I admire you for keeping your cool. Even though you didn’t take your child away to ‘deal’ with the tantrum, you did talk to her. You kept a calm, loving voice. You told her you’d be done soon and soothed her through the entire shopping trip. Even when people stared, you kept your cool. Even when people said things, you kept going.

A lot of people would have walked away…and maybe if you didn’t need those groceries you might have, too, but you kept going.

So what I’m saying, mom, is that even though I didn’t say anything at the store, I want you to know I admire you and I hope that you know that I saw you. I want you to remember tonight and how you kept going…because next time I’m having a rough day I’m going to remember you.

And I’ll keep going.

Sincerely,

Me