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If Motherhood Is A Gift, What Exactly Is The Return Policy?

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. Most of the time. Most of the time it’s the greatest thing ever. Most of the time I look at those beautiful blue eyes and think, “Wow. You’re the coolest kid alive.” But I didn’t give birth to her. And since she is ten, she likes …

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10 Things Never To Say To A WAHM

The very existence of our species is based on the survival of the fittest. The forming of tribes. The pooling of resources. The establishment of hierarchy. Whether in the cave, on the battlefield, in the boardroom, or the classroom, four billion years of evolution has proven one thing–the strong might absorb the week. But none …

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AJ’s Ranty Rant: Maple Syrup Does NOT Treat Meningitis

For the record, maple syrup does NOT treat meningitis. I am not a doctor, nor a holistic healer, I barely know how to put on bandaids properly, but, and I repeat, maple syrup does NOT treat meningitis. Know how I know this? Because there is a couple in Canada (David and Collet Stephan) who are …

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Should I Buy My Six Year Old a Cell Phone?

Okay, so you’ve read the post title and instantly think I am nine different kinds of crazy, right? She’s six. What on earth does she need an expensive piece of technology for? She’s just going to lose it. Kids don’t need to be connected every hour of every minute. Look, I know the reasons for …

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How Having A Housekeeper Saved My Marriage…

First off, June Cleaver is a freakin’ liar. No one smiles that much after spending all day cleaning their house, taking care of kids, and somehow creating a dinner fit for magazine covers. No. In fact, if she were real and expected to do all that she’d probably be crying in a corner by 4:00 and …

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This Child Plans To Be A Superhero Named Killer When She Grows Up…So She Can Kill People…

Kids are sweet…and sometimes terrifying. While we love when they say the darndest things, sometimes the things they say make us want to check our bedroom locks a few extra times at night. Take this mom… Her daughter was given a simple assignment in school: If you were a superhero, who would you be and …

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I Don’t Want Daughters, And I Wish You’d Stop Asking…

There’s a weird thing that happens when you’re the mom of all boys: people seem to expect you wish you’d had a girl. I don’t. My boys are my life and every time someone asks me if I’m going to try again until I have a girl, it’s like they’re dismissing the magic and joy …

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20 Times I Really Wish Someone Else Could Adult For Me…

It’s not that I need to live with my mom or anything, but there are definitely times Someone should be the adult of me. Like the last time I dated a guy and wanted to break up with him, it would have been nice for someone else to step in and say, “Mary can’t play …

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To The Mom Whose Child Was Screaming In The Grocery Store Tonight…

Dear Mom, I know you’re stressed, I could see it on your face. You looked exhausted, maybe even a little sick, yet you were still out shopping with your kid at 9:00 at night. It’s cold, mom. We were supposed to have snow today but the weather report changed so instead it’s just so bitterly …

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10 People Who Should Never Be Allowed On Airplanes

Be it the for holidays visiting family, vacation or if bi-coastal commuting is just a necessary party of your job, air travel has become as common as a round of antibiotics to fight the sniffles. Cram a hundred and fifty anxious-to-get-where-they’re-going people on a jet and there’s bound to be an issue or two. Still, …

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Please Stop Inviting Me To Your Baby Showers

Every time I find out a friend of mine is pregnant, I feel a moment of intense happiness and sheer pain all in the same breath. “Oh my goodness,” I exclaim, the ecstatic feelings winning out. “When are you due?” And then we start gushing together and share in that intimately happy moment of knowing …

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50 Things To Keep In Mind For Next Christmas…

There are some things I forget about every single year when it comes to Christmas, but I’m determined to remember them for next year. I’m pretty sure they’re universal, too. Like that we all have someone in our family who tells inappropriate jokes around children. Or that grandma’s don’t always understand your sense of humor. …

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I Won’t See My Family This Christmas, And That’s Okay

For a lot of reasons that are the fault of so many different people, I am not on speaking terms with my family. Most of them have unfriended me on Facebook, I don’t get birthday wishes on my wall or cards in the mail anymore from them. This is my life, and there isn’t anything …

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10 Tips That Make Moving Suck Less

From decluttering, to choosing an agent, to packing your entire life into portable containers, there are few things in life more stressful than moving. Whether you’ve accepted a job in a new city, just finished construction on your dream home or you’re dodging eviction, no matter what way you slice it, moving bites a dirty …

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What To Do When Your Tween Won’t Shower

The tween years are tough for kids. Their teeth are half adult, half baby – essentially making their mouths look like a living horror show. They still have those child faces, but they’re starting to grow body hair, breasts, and big feet. They still want bedtime kisses, but will literally (in their own minds, at …

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10 Things My Mother Should’ve Told Me About Being a Girl

While I have a great relationship with my mother, we didn’t exactly bond over Saturday afternoon window shopping or lessons on how to apply the appropriate amount of lip stick. There are definitely some things my mother should’ve told me… Being raised in the 40’s and 50’s and within a highly conservative environment, the feminist …

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What It’s Like To Have Coffee With Your Ex-Husband

Coffee with your ex-husband is an art. I’ve been divorced for several years now, my ex-husband and I have moved on and both have serious significant others. It’s pretty safe to say we are over most of the emotion that comes with ending a marriage, and are now just committed to giving our daughter the best …

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5 Reasons Why Food Dye Is NOT A Big Deal

So a funny thing happens every single time we post a post about rainbow-colored this or that…all these dye-hard moms come out of no where and freak out about how evil food dye is and why we should be burned at the stake for ever even suggesting we let it near our children. Seriously, it’ll be a …

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5 Things Grandparents Do That Drive Us Insane

Grandparents are so important in our kids’ lives, and growing up with strong family connections can help kids make closer connections to other people down the road. Still, there are some things that grandparents do that drive us bananas. In fact, some of these things can be so intrusive that it can drive a wedge …

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3-Year-Old Encourages Dad As He Fixes Her Hair

Being a parent means sometimes you don’t know what you’re doing. Scratch that, being a parent means most of the time you have no idea what you’re doing. And sometimes it can feel like everything we do as parents is overwhelming and new. Like this daddy fixing his daughter’s hair for the first time. With …

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9 Reasons to Like Your Dogs More Than Your Kids

A lot of things have changed for me over the years, going from a corporate ladder-climber to a writer/stay-at-home mom has been a big one. My love for cheap booze has been replaced by wine or a well mixed Beergarita. Sensible flats now sit on racks where stripper heels used to be and yoga pants take the spot that formerly held …

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You’re The Reason Your Kid Hates Vegetables

It’s seven o’clock at night. Dinner has been over for an hour, homework has to be done, baths have to be taken, and it’s almost time for bed…yet, you and your littlest are still sitting at the kitchen table locked in an eye-to-eye all out combat over that one bite of broccoli he refuses to …

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To The People Freaking Out Over Male Circumcision: Get Over It

Dear Freaker-Outers: Honestly, I’m not sure if I should even go on talking to y’all, because you’ve already decided to hate what I have to say and you’re planning ways to tell me I’m evil. So for you – move on. Seriously. Just go read another article or something. Here’s a picture of a rollerblading penis …

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Dino-Bites Snack Packs + A Free Printable

Sometimes as a parent, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Everyone always wants something and at the very last minute you find out that you’re supposed to bring the snacks for movie day at preschool tomorrow. Ahhh. Not that I’ve been there. Really. *eye twitch* Well, folks, help is on the way! These Dino-Bites Snack …

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How do I raise kids cooler than me?

I am not a cool person. Never have been. I sat with the misfits at lunch in high school and even played make-believe in the playground rather than cheerleader when I was in grade school. I’m a nerd, straight-up, and I’ve been happy with that most of my life. But things have changed–I have kids now. …

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