You sit down, you're just going to grab something quick, maybe an app and an entree. Two hours later you're standing outside squinting at a receipt that somehow hit $90 and you don't even know what happened.

Here's the thing — it's almost never one big thing. It's the sparkling water, the avocado add-on, the second round of cocktails you ordered because the server asked. The restaurant industry is extremely good at getting money out of you in increments small enough that you don't flinch.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I put together everything I know about where that money actually goes. Some of this you already know and still do anyway (same). Some of it might actually surprise you.

Are appetizers actually worth the money?

Appetizers are engineered to be irresistible — and priced to make the restaurant happy, not you. A table full of starters can add $30 to your bill before your entrees even land, and most of the time you eat them just because they're there, not because you were actually hungry for them.

Stick to one appetizer split across the table, or skip them entirely. You'll eat less, spend less, and honestly probably enjoy your entree more.

Why does the upsell get us every single time?

The server asks if you want avocado on that. You think, sure, it's just a couple bucks. Then you upgrade your side. Then you get the fancy lemonade instead of a soda. Each individual decision seems fine — and collectively they've added $12 to your meal without you noticing.

Upsells are designed to feel minor. They're not. Decide before you sit down what you actually want instead of making those calls in the moment when you're hungry and someone charming is standing over you with a notepad.

Are you using happy hour? Because you should be.

Happy hour is legitimately one of the best deals in dining and a shocking number of people just don't plan around it. Same drinks, same food — sometimes a third cheaper, sometimes half off — just because you showed up at 5pm instead of 7.

Check before you go. Most restaurants post their happy hour times online. This is the kind of thing that saves you $15 and feels like nothing, but adds up over a month of going out.

Does what you drink matter more than what you eat?

Yes, actually. Specialty cocktails are frequently marked up 400-500% over their ingredient cost, and a single margarita at a sit-down restaurant can run you $14-$18 without blinking. Order two of those and you've just spent $35 on drinks alone before food.

If you're watching what you spend, beer and house wine are almost always better value than craft cocktails. And water is free — which sounds obvious until you realize how many people are quietly paying $6 for a bottle of sparkling water they didn't need.

Are you even reading the specials?

Restaurants build specials around what they have too much of, which means they're often priced to move. That's good news for you. The special isn't always the most exciting thing on the menu but it's frequently the best value, and sometimes it's genuinely delicious.

Don't just glance at the specials board and go back to the regular menu on autopilot. Actually consider it. Back when I wrote about getting more out of your grocery budget, I made this same point about weekly sales — the best deal is usually the one you actually use.

Should you really be ordering dessert?

Restaurant desserts are almost always a bad deal — $10 to $14 for something that took them four minutes to plate and tastes fine but not spectacular. They also arrive when you're already full, so you're spending the most money at the moment you want food the least.

If you want something sweet after dinner, stop somewhere on the way home. An ice cream place or a bakery is going to be cheaper and honestly more fun. Save the restaurant dessert for places that are actually known for it.

Why aren’t you splitting entrees?

Restaurant portions in the U.S. are famously massive — Americans are served portions up to twice the recommended size at many sit-down restaurants. You're paying for food you're not going to eat.

Splitting an entree isn't cheap — it's smart. Some places charge a small plate-sharing fee, but even then you're almost always coming out ahead. And if you're with someone who eats similarly, you can split an entree and each get an app and still spend less than ordering separately.

Are you actually using the freebies?

Bread basket. Chips and salsa. Complimentary refills. These things exist and they're included in the price of your meal whether you use them or not. If you're going to spend the money anyway, at least get what you're actually paying for.

Filling up a little on bread before your entree isn't a bad thing — it means you're less likely to order a second course you don't need just because you're still hungry.

How many rewards programs are you ignoring right now?

Almost every chain restaurant has a loyalty program at this point, and a lot of local spots do too. Free appetizers, birthday deals, points that turn into discounts — this stuff is out there, it just requires five minutes to sign up.

If you eat somewhere more than twice a year, have the app on your phone. In my post about things that actually save money without feeling like a sacrifice, the rewards app category was one of the biggest easy wins.

What’s actually an appropriate tip?

Okay, this is a genuinely complicated one. Server wages are structured around tips, and I believe in tipping properly — but I also think the creeping pressure toward 25-30% as the new baseline on a pre-tax total at a counter service spot is a different conversation than tipping your server at a full-service restaurant.

At a full-service restaurant where a server took care of you, 18-20% is the standard. Exceptional service? Go higher. But you don't have to tip 30% on a $200 dinner just because the iPad defaulted to that option and you felt awkward tapping the lower button. That pressure is real and it's worth noticing.

Are substitutions costing you money you didn’t have to spend?

A lot of people just order what's on the menu and pay what's on the menu without ever asking if they can swap something out. Restaurants allow substitutions more often than you'd think — and sometimes a simple swap can bring down the price of a dish or make it more filling so you don't need to order extras.

Just ask. The worst they say is no.

Is ordering the premium entree a habit or an actual treat?

Lobster, dry-aged steak, whole fish — nothing wrong with any of those things. But if you're reflexively ordering the most expensive protein every time you go out because that's just what you do, it's worth at least noticing the pattern.

Save the premium entrees for when they actually mean something. They'll taste better too.

Is bottled water the sneakiest restaurant charge of all?

Sparkling water sounds sophisticated. It also costs anywhere from $5 to $12 a bottle at a sit-down restaurant and you genuinely cannot taste the difference once it's in a glass. Tap water is clean, free, and no one is actually judging you.

This is one of the easiest $6-10 you'll ever save and it requires zero willpower.

Does timing actually affect how much you spend?

Dining during peak hours — Friday night, Saturday dinner, Sunday brunch — doesn't change the menu prices, but it does change everything around your meal. Longer waits push you toward ordering another round of drinks. Rushed service means you don't catch errors on the bill. The whole experience costs more and is somehow worse.

Lunch menus and weekday dinner specials exist, and in my piece on habits that quietly drain your budget I'd have put 'eating at peak restaurant times' firmly on the list. Go on a Tuesday. Get better service, spend less, get a table immediately. There's no downside.

None of this is about never going out or treating every restaurant meal like a math test. It's just about knowing where the money actually goes so you can decide if that's where you want it to go.

The fancy water and the three appetizers and the upsold guacamole — those things are fine if you chose them. They feel annoying when you realize you didn't really choose them, they just happened to you.

But what do I know. I once paid $18 for a cocktail and tipped 20% on it and I'd probably do it again.

Dining out eats your budget faster than you think — mostly through small, sneaky decisions like ordering specialty drinks, skipping happy hour, or ignoring the specials. The fixes are simple once you know where to look. None of this requires you to become a coupon person. Just a slightly more aware one.

The check arrives and somehow it’s $90 for two people at a place that didn’t even have tablecloths. You retrace the evening in your head. There was that second round of drinks. The upgraded side. The sparkling water nobody actually asked for.

It adds up in such a boring, preventable way.

I don’t think you need to stop eating out. That’s a miserable overcorrection and I refuse it. But there are things happening at every restaurant visit that quietly drain your wallet — and most of them are completely optional. Here’s what to actually watch for.

Is ordering appetizers automatically killing your budget?

Appetizers are the most profitable items on any restaurant menu — and the portion sizes are engineered specifically to leave you wanting more, not to actually fill you up. You order mozzarella sticks as a “starter” and then still eat your entire entrée. That’s $14 you didn’t need to spend.

If you genuinely love apps, pick one for the table and share it. Or — and this is the move — order an extra entrée to split instead. You get more food for close to the same money.

Why specialty drinks are quietly the most expensive thing on the table

A specialty cocktail at a mid-range restaurant routinely costs $14–$18. Order two of those and you’ve spent more on drinks than on food. Specialty drinks are marked up more aggressively than almost anything else on the menu because they can be — they’re fun, they’re Instagrammable, and you don’t really know what they cost to make.

This isn’t me telling you to never get the margarita. It’s me telling you to look at the price before you order it. One cocktail, sure. Three? That’s when the receipt gets weird.

And while we’re here — tap water is free. Sparkling water in a bottle is frequently $6–$9 and nobody at the table actually needs it. Someone just said yes when the server asked.

Are you actually using happy hour?

Happy hour is one of the most underutilized money-saving tools in existence, and it makes sense because restaurants are already there, the staff is already there, and they want people in seats during slow hours. The discounts are real — sometimes 30–50% off drinks and appetizers.

If you’re flexible on timing, even slightly adjusting when you go out can mean the difference between a $60 dinner and a $38 one. Check before you go. Most restaurants post their happy hour hours on their website or on Instagram.

What’s actually worth ordering off the specials menu?

Specials exist partly to move ingredients that need to be used — which sounds less glamorous than it is. It means the kitchen is cooking those dishes fresh and with real attention. They’re often genuinely the best thing on the menu that night, and priced competitively to get you to order them.

Ignoring the specials and defaulting straight to the regular menu means you might be paying more for something less interesting. At least ask. Takes four seconds.

Is the upsell actually worth it?

Every server is trained to ask if you want to upgrade, add on, or enhance something. Avocado on that? Upgrade to the larger size? Want to add a soup or salad? These questions are so normalized that most people say yes automatically without doing any math.

Two dollars here, three dollars there — across a full meal it adds up to $10–$15 in stuff you didn’t plan to order and might not even finish. Decide before you sit down what you actually want and treat the upsell questions as something you’re opting into, not something you have to decline.

Should you split an entrée instead of ordering two?

Restaurant portion sizes in the US are genuinely enormous. A lot of places serve what amounts to two full meals on one plate. Splitting an entrée — especially if you’re also ordering an appetizer or soup — is not some embarrassing frugal move. It’s actually just a reasonable response to unreasonable portion sizes.

Some restaurants charge a small split plate fee, usually $2–$4. Even with that, you’re often saving money. It makes sense because you’re not paying for food you’re going to box up and forget about in the back of your fridge.

Are you leaving loyalty rewards and coupons on the table?

Loyalty programs at chain restaurants are genuinely worth signing up for if you go there more than once. Free birthday meals, points toward a future visit, occasional coupons — none of it requires any effort beyond giving them your email address.

Apps like Fetch Rewards and restaurant-specific apps (Chili’s, Panera, Chipotle — they all have them) stack discounts in ways that feel almost too easy. I’ve talked about budget-friendly meal strategies in a few posts here on the blog and the throughline is always the same — the savings are there, they just require like three minutes of setup.

Does skipping dessert at the restaurant actually save you money?

Dessert at a restaurant runs $10–$14 per person pretty consistently, for a slice of something that was probably made off-site and reheated. That’s not me being cynical — that’s just how most mid-range restaurant desserts work.

If you want something sweet after dinner, grabbing ice cream or something from a bakery on the way home is almost always cheaper and frequently better. Save the restaurant dessert for places that are actually known for it. The molten chocolate cake at a random chain is not the flex it feels like in the moment.

What substitutions can you actually ask for?

Most restaurants are more flexible about substitutions than the menu implies, and swapping an expensive side for a cheaper one — or skipping something you won’t eat — is completely normal to ask about. You might save $2–$4 just by asking.

This is one of those things that feels awkward until you do it once and realize nobody cares at all.

Are premium entrées ever actually worth it at a casual restaurant?

Lobster, steak, and seafood tower situations are fine if you’re at a place known for those things. Ordering a $48 ribeye at a restaurant that’s primarily known for its nachos is a different situation entirely.

The premium entrée markup at mid-range restaurants is significant, and quality often doesn’t scale proportionally with price. Save the big-ticket proteins for the places where that’s the whole point of the visit.

Should you adjust when you go out to avoid peak hour pricing?

Some restaurants charge more during peak hours — and even the ones that don’t are harder to navigate when they’re slammed. Service gets slower, servers are stretched thin, and you’re more likely to sit at the bar and order an extra drink just to fill the time.

Early dinners — the 5:30 or 6pm slot that everyone over 40 secretly prefers anyway — often come with better service, a calmer experience, and sometimes early bird pricing. This is not something to be ashamed of. This is just winning.

Is it okay to ask about the check before you get it?

Looking at your bill before you pay it is not rude, it’s just smart. Errors happen more than you’d think — wrong items, automatic add-ons, a charge for the bread basket that was supposed to be complimentary. According to consumer finance research, billing errors at restaurants are among the most common merchant disputes people report.

You’re not being difficult. You’re being a person who understands that mistakes happen and that it’s easier to fix them at the table than after the fact.

None of this is about never treating yourself. Eating out is genuinely one of life’s better pleasures and I’m not here to take that away from you.

But there’s a version of dining out where you make conscious choices — and a version where you just sort of float through it saying yes to everything and then feel vaguely bad when you check your bank account later. The gap between those two versions is honestly just attention.

Pay for the things you actually want. Question the things you don’t. The food tastes exactly the same either way.

The first year I decorate my yard, I realized that not only did I not have the money for any of this stuff, but also the store-bought products looked terrible. I wasn’t about to pay $50 for a tombstone that I could make on my own with some plywood, and make it look better, for $10. Don’t let money be an issue. Just think outside the box for your material. Everything I made was made from junk. Nobody wanted it and nobody cared if I took it.

Keeping The Earth Alive And Your Yard Undead: Upcycled Halloween Decorations

So I’m going to show you my yard and what I made it with and how much (if anything) it cost. If it appears that I’m bragging it’s only because hell yeah, I’m bragging. My yard looks great and I built it myself. But I also want to encourage other folks to express their own joy of the holiday through affordable, sustainable methods.

Boarded Windows:

This year I decided to go for a zombie-ish, cemetery look. I wanted to board up the windows but I didn’t want to actually use boards because that would be stupid. Luckily, I was driving home one afternoon and saw a neighbor had left about six broken down U-Haul boxes on the curb. I cut the boxes into four sections and then cut those sections in half. Each box gave me eight “boards” which I then spray painted brown. Easy. I’ve stuck double-sided carpet tape on the back of the boards and they seem to hold pretty well. If I lose a board due to high autumn winds or rain, it’s okay, I’ve around twenty spares in my garage.

Sheets:

Ghosts and David Duke require a massive amount of white sheets. I can’t speak for ol’ Davy D but I can’t afford expensive, Egyptian cotton for my ghosts. Any sheet you see, from the large ghosts behind the tree to the “All Dead Here” sign, these sheets cost about $2 at any Goodwill. There’s no point in ruining perfectly good sheets with spray paint or cutting them to pieces when you can wreck someone else’s.

Cemetery:

And what I’m most pleased with is the cemetery itself. The wood is almost all upcycled from storage crates. I knew I wouldn’t have the cash to buy lumber for four columns AND the planks AND rails for the fence. I got lucky one day while I was delivering mail at a business. A guy was hauling a cart full of plywood to a dumpster. He let me take all I wanted. Later that day, drunk with the lust of free scrap wood, I went back and dumpster dived for a couple more sheets and some trim. If you don’t mind leaping headfirst into a dumpster full of jagged wood and rusty staples, you’re helping the Earth stay green. You’re probably not saving much money after the cost of a tetanus shot, but you can feel morally superior to all your neighbors. After I got the material, it was just a matter of cutting the pieces to whatever size I needed, in this case, 2’x2’. Add a few cans of gray and black spray paint and eight hours later I had a fully busted up cemetery fence.

The great thing about Halloween is that everything is supposed to look shabby and run down. You barely have to measure anything. Some of my lines were crooked. Big deal. My measurements were off a little bit here and there. Who cares? Give yourself permission to not be very good. Don’t let a lack of talent keep you from scaring children and offending adults. If you love the holiday, show it. You can bet there’s a neighbor down the street is filling up their corner lot with all kinds of random inflatable friendly ghosts, and friendly pumpkins, and…ugh…friendly witches. Disgraceful. The kids on my street dare each other to walk through my yard at night. Last week a woman stopped by our house to drop off Scentsy samples for my wife and her daughter was too afraid to get out of their van. That’s the best compliment I could ever get, the compliment of fear.

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Do you love to save money?  You know we do and we’re excited to host a chat about our favorite ways to stretch the budget without sacrificing on quality, at Sam’s Club!  OnThursday, August 28 at 11am ET, please join us for the #TrySamsClub Twitter Chat! We’ll be chatting about our favorite Sam’s Club departments, special finds we’ve discovered and why life is better in the club!

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Join me and RSVP for the #TrySamsClub Twitter Chat on SoFabChats!

DATE: Thursday, August 28

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All guests who RSVP and opt-in for information from brand and who supply valid email address will be sent code and instructions for redeeming an exclusive Sam’s Club Shopping Pass with no up charge on purchases. Pass is valid for one day only and expires on September 7, 2014. Terms and conditions apply.  See pass for details.

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