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The Myth Of The Full-Size Snickers…And Other Halloween Things That Never Happened

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Halloween is all about tall tales and scary stories. From the headless horseman to chainsaw wielding baddies to apples laced with arsenic, there are a lot of Halloween stories that never, ever happened. But that’s fine. It’s the one day of the year where we can believe in the paranormal. Believe in ghosts and zombies, and princess firefighters. Believe that there are scary things that go ‘bump’ in the night, and that men cursed to wear hockey masks for all eternity are going to come back from the dead to get’cha. And don’t you dare go to sleep…’cause you know what happens when you sleep. But even with all this fun, there are some things that never, ever, ever happened. Myths that are so big that they took over generations of Halloweeners fears and became realities in their own right. Here are 10 Halloween Myths That Never, Ever Happened. Happy Halloween!

razors-in-apples-and-other-myths

10 Halloween Myths That Never, Ever Happened

10. Razor blades in apples – Only when you can’t find a knife and you’re trying to make a pie. This never happened.

9. Black cats are bad luck – Persnickety, sometimes a little scratchy, but definitely just normal cats.

8. Poisoned candy – This was invented by parents to help insure a ‘mom tax’. How else are we supposed to get free candy?

7. Pop Rocks and Coke will make your stomach explode – Can’t happen. Though, this is a fun one to tell kids to keep them from over-sugaring themselves…

poprocks-and-soda

6. Ghosts come back and walk among the living – That’s the day after Halloween. Duh.

5. Vampires are real – Nope. Just people who think drinking blood is fun. Which, btw, is way more gross that scary.

4. Jack-O-Lanterns ward off evil spirits – Yes, because your bedazzled gourd is going to make boogiemen go away…

3. Haunted houses have scared people to death – Okay, this one might be true…but I’m guessing those people already had some sort of heart condition before they ever walked in the door…

haunted-house-scare

2. Kidnappers are more likely to kidnap on Halloween – Think about this one…why would they pick a day when there are a billion parents out with their billion kids to gank one of the kids? Plus, what kidnapper in their right mind would ever want to grab a kid who’s so sugared up they could bulldoze their way through a brick wall like the Koolaid Man?

1. There was a house somewhere in town handing out full-sized Snickers – No. Never happened. Ever notice how it’s always your friend who found that house, or your friend’s cousin’s college roommate? That’s because it doesn’t exist.

full-size-snickers

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8 Comments

  1. Until we have the REAL proof, no Court is going to rule in our favor. They would rather just let the 2012 election solve the issue, as it is being done by the 10 States which are pushing Eligibility Laws. They are too afraid of the reaction from Obama's ghetto base.

  2. Haha, shouldn’t you be charging for that kind of knowledge?!

  3. Faltó Harrison Ford (Star Wars, Blade Runner, Indiana Jones, todas las de Jack Ryan -o como se llame aquél ir©dnaÃls de los balazos). Él gana.

  4. When I was a kid there was a lady at the end of the street that passed out Full Sized Kit-Kats. So there. ;p

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