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My Toddler Has Jealousy Issues {AKA my toddler is jealous of new baby}

Your first baby will always be your first baby. You spoil them rotten, you love on them constantly. And if you’re me, you even let them sleep in the bed with you because you’re just too heartbroken to listen to them cry themselves to sleep that first time.

But when my toddler is jealous of new baby–she’s a creature to be feared. I love my daughter desperately, but the little terror Toddler has Jealousy Issues and I don’t know how to deal.

jealous toddler pin

My toddler is jealous of new baby?!

I recently had baby #2. Or daughter #2. However I look at it, I’m not sure I 100% understand the way my toddler is reacting. I mean, yeah, I was gone for like a week (almost 2) while I recovered from the emergency c-section in the hospital.

Sure, I left daughter #1 with my parents for that whole time and we just had sporadic visitation, a big change from the joined-at-the-hip state of affairs we’d been in before the birth. But now, I’m home. We’re back to our normal routine.

Why is she crawling all over me and yelling in my face–hollering at the baby and doing naughty things (like attempting to dig in the trashcan or biting me)?!

She can’t be jealous, right?


toddler jealous of new baby feature

We had our first real temper tantrum from daughter #1 the first day daughter #2 came home. It was a hour long, associated directly with the need for a nap and my toddler was desperate to make things go her way. I didn’t know what to do to fix it.

Frankly, I kinda feel the same way about her that she did that day, I think.

I don’t need this. I need my sweet, loving little monster daughter back. I’m sleep-deprived, struggling to eat on a regular schedule (HELLO, why can’t I have more time to eat something besides a bologna sandwich every meal?!), and covered from head-to-toe in breastmilk because I’m terrible at it, I guess.

But really, I need the sweet kisses and hugs and squeals of delight I got just a couple of weeks ago. I miss her. And it doesn’t feel like it is getting any better.

kids jealous of each other sq

The way I see it, this stage will probably never end. My oldest will probably always be a little jealous of my middle child (oh, he is so jealous, even though he’s 12 and she’s not even 2), my middle of the youngest, and the youngest will be jealous that she wasn’t first (or even second) in line.

It’s a vicious cycle that really can’t be broken. I’d say I’m sad about it, but, honestly, at this point, I’m so exhausted I might just be about to fall asleep instead of sad (they feel oddly similar).

Here’s my note to self for the day: Welcome to parenthood. Again.

Savannah Smith

Thursday 6th of June 2019

It's very sad that our children become so jealous over their siblings. If we can help our children through this it can be much easier for them, and us as parents. Being here and supporting our children is one of the best things we can do for them. I wrote a post about how we can help our toddlers cope with jealously