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When Family Unfriends You: 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care

Hey, I get it. Whether you’re related to me or not, as a romance author with a penchant for profanity, I understand that my online presence isn’t suitable for children or the ultra conservative. But if you’re like me, social media is the one place you can broadcast your opinions to the world, share your triumphs and tribulations, and just be yourself.

It might not always bring out the best in people, but it does bring out the truth. We learn things about our friends, teachers and neighbors, that we sometimes wish we hadn’t. That’s okay though. We can always adopt a smile and wave policy to keep the distance. But what about family? Doesn’t shared DNA imply unconditional love, acceptance and a super high tolerance for ass-tardery?

Umm…

No.

Unfriend

But the good news is the sentiment goes both ways. Whatever bugs you about a family member’s awkward online presence, their feelings are bounding right back atcha, at mach speed.

So rejoice! Here are 10 reasons why you shouldn’t care when family unfriends you on social media.

1). You don’t need that kind of negativity. You know, like when you post a picture of your toes in the sand and cold beer in a bucket, followed by your sister leaving a snarky comment about how it must be nice to take all those fancy vacations in one year. And of course you can’t resist tagging her back with “this is what happens when you stop holding out for a “management position” and actually get a job.” Not being friends on social media can nip the potential family feud right in the keister.

2). You also don’t need the drama. So you overslept a little (those Jager Bombs weren’t going to drink themselves last night!) and and were late to Nana’s 80th birthday party. It’s not your fault everyone in your family is so uptight. You didn’t tag yourself making out with a drag queen, giving away your pre-birthday party where-a-bouts. What family doesn’t know can never hurt them.

3). Or the guilt. Your continual sharing of GoFundMe links has Mom, Dad and the grandparents constantly forking over cash. First it was for little Joey’s school trip to the Congo, now it’s for Fido’s hip dysplasia surgery. Your family can’t afford to keep bank rolling your electives. If you aren’t social media friends, they won’t feel the pressure to reverse mortgage their homes.

4). If your family can’t appreciate your duck face/bathroom mirror masterpieces, they probably aren’t your target audience. 

baby duck face

There are plenty of people on Rate My Face that will give you the validation you crave.

5). Judgy Aunt Jane doesn’t care to hear how you used your boobs to get out of a speeding ticket. No worries. The breast cancer awareness month memo obviously hasn’t been delivered to the rock she lives under.

6). Family can’t always handle daily reminders that your kids are the smartest, prettiest and most athletic kids in the gene pool. Anticipation is half the fun. You can still tell them all about it in your annual Christmas letter!

7). Diabetes runs in the family and your food porn has already put half the clan in a coma. For the love of sugar, let them unfriend you without rancor.

8). Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You have different views on religion, politics, and the many flavors of Ben & Jerry’s. So what? Not seeing your daily rants on the state of the world makes it so much easier to agree to disagree. You aren’t going to change their minds anyway.

9). Your brother doesn’t need to know you’re still friends with his ex-wife. Even for the sake of the children. Believe me, it’s better this way.

10). It’s not you, it’s them. You can choose your Facebook friends, but you can’t choose your family.

People don’t like to feel uncomfortable. And because they’re close to you, family sometimes follows your online presence and sees things in a way you didn’t intend. Instead of overreacting and calling them out at the next Sunday brunch, don’t take it as an act of betrayal. When family unfriends you breathe a nice big sigh of relief. You’ve been given a gift. Accept it and say thank you.

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