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When Family Unfriends You: 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care

Hey, I get it. Whether you’re related to me or not, as a romance author with a penchant for profanity, I understand that my online presence isn’t suitable for children or the ultra conservative. But if you’re like me, social media is the one place you can broadcast your opinions to the world, share your triumphs and tribulations, and just be yourself.

It might not always bring out the best in people, but it does bring out the truth. We learn things about our friends, teachers and neighbors, that we sometimes wish we hadn’t. That’s okay though. We can always adopt a smile and wave policy to keep the distance. But what about family? Doesn’t shared DNA imply unconditional love, acceptance and a super high tolerance for ass-tardery?

Umm…

No.

Unfriend

But the good news is the sentiment goes both ways. Whatever bugs you about a family member’s awkward online presence, their feelings are bounding right back atcha, at mach speed.

So rejoice! Here are 10 reasons why you shouldn’t care when family unfriends you on social media.

1). You don’t need that kind of negativity. You know, like when you post a picture of your toes in the sand and cold beer in a bucket, followed by your sister leaving a snarky comment about how it must be nice to take all those fancy vacations in one year. And of course you can’t resist tagging her back with “this is what happens when you stop holding out for a “management position” and actually get a job.” Not being friends on social media can nip the potential family feud right in the keister.

2). You also don’t need the drama. So you overslept a little (those Jager Bombs weren’t going to drink themselves last night!) and and were late to Nana’s 80th birthday party. It’s not your fault everyone in your family is so uptight. You didn’t tag yourself making out with a drag queen, giving away your pre-birthday party where-a-bouts. What family doesn’t know can never hurt them.

3). Or the guilt. Your continual sharing of GoFundMe links has Mom, Dad and the grandparents constantly forking over cash. First it was for little Joey’s school trip to the Congo, now it’s for Fido’s hip dysplasia surgery. Your family can’t afford to keep bank rolling your electives. If you aren’t social media friends, they won’t feel the pressure to reverse mortgage their homes.

4). If your family can’t appreciate your duck face/bathroom mirror masterpieces, they probably aren’t your target audience. 

baby duck face

There are plenty of people on Rate My Face that will give you the validation you crave.

5). Judgy Aunt Jane doesn’t care to hear how you used your boobs to get out of a speeding ticket. No worries. The breast cancer awareness month memo obviously hasn’t been delivered to the rock she lives under.

6). Family can’t always handle daily reminders that your kids are the smartest, prettiest and most athletic kids in the gene pool. Anticipation is half the fun. You can still tell them all about it in your annual Christmas letter!

7). Diabetes runs in the family and your food porn has already put half the clan in a coma. For the love of sugar, let them unfriend you without rancor.

8). Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You have different views on religion, politics, and the many flavors of Ben & Jerry’s. So what? Not seeing your daily rants on the state of the world makes it so much easier to agree to disagree. You aren’t going to change their minds anyway.

9). Your brother doesn’t need to know you’re still friends with his ex-wife. Even for the sake of the children. Believe me, it’s better this way.

10). It’s not you, it’s them. You can choose your Facebook friends, but you can’t choose your family.

People don’t like to feel uncomfortable. And because they’re close to you, family sometimes follows your online presence and sees things in a way you didn’t intend. Instead of overreacting and calling them out at the next Sunday brunch, don’t take it as an act of betrayal. When family unfriends you breathe a nice big sigh of relief. You’ve been given a gift. Accept it and say thank you.

Carissa

Thursday 30th of September 2021

I unfriend or snooze family that post provocative photos of themselves. I have talked before to one of the family members that if they want to continue that’s their choice, but I will unfollow because I do not want to see them in that light. Also suggested they make a separate account where they can post all the inappropriate photos they want to their friends and maybe have a second account for family members that can keep in contact and see what’s going on in their life without the uncomfortable eye scarring. My family member took it well and understood where I was coming from, so I’ve just snoozed her since that’s an option. I’ve had to completely unfriend some though. It’s more for brain and spiritual protection.

BB

Friday 6th of September 2019

I hate that my crazy family is on Facebook. I would love to block them all.

It includes my mother who physically and mentally abused me when I was a child. We've been estranged for more than 20 years. My psychopathic niece and narcissistic niece are there. A younger brother, who's likely a psychopath, is on my friend list. My cousin who repeatedly sexually abused me when I was a child is on Facebook. I blocked him, but he's on relative's friend list and is always invited to parties though they know what he did to me. His wife and kids are on Facebook too, and though they're entirely innocent of wrong-doing, seeing them post there, brings back thoughts of him and my abuse.

I opened up about my childhood abuse to another cousin who's on Facebook, and he blocked me. Another cousin got cool and wouldn't speak to me after I told her about my abuse. You would think that they would want to be warned as they have young children.

I really wish I could just close my account, but I have a business to promote.

Carissa

Thursday 30th of September 2021

@BB, sounds like you need to forgive. I was abused by my mother and father physically and emotionally as well. I used to be very angry too, but I forgave them and it’s feels so much better and now I have a relationship with them and can talk. I thank Jesus Christ for changing my heart and putting love in me that I could not have before I knew him. I am hoping you find forgiveness in your heart soon.

Amy Long

Saturday 27th of July 2019

I unfriended pretty much everyone aside from my immediate family and a handful of very close friends and I emailed them to let them know. That was several years ago, but since I had actually entirely deactivated my account. Come to find out that all of these years later some of these family members took it very personally and saw it as a measure of my love and interest in their lives. I was shocked. I'd love to send this article to them!

Tricia

Saturday 11th of May 2019

My new daughter in law unfriended me. Right after the wedding to my son. Heck she didn't talk to me at bridal shower, or wedding. Her mother told me to f off. Funny part is i can honestly say i never did or said anything negative to bride or her mother. I didn't want to cause trouble so i allowed both daughter and mother to verbally abuse me. Asked my son why i was unfriended? He said his wife thinks i dont make comments on her post. Im not a FB heavyweight poster.

Carissa

Thursday 30th of September 2021

@Tricia, I’m sorry to hear you are going through that 😔

Annemarie Conrod

Monday 18th of March 2019

I received a phone call on my cell phone from my brother in-law looking for his brother, my husband. I was surprised he even knew my cell number because I never gave it to him and he always called for his brother on our home landline. This is a person who never pays his bills, still owes my husband large sums of money, when he calls...it’s for help me situations. The home phone continually has 49 or more calls from him and I don’t want him blowing up my cell looking for his brother! Was I wrong to block him? Annemarie C