With a spoon, mix all your dry ingredients together in a gigantic bowl (the largest one you have might not be big enough).
With your hands (haha! Here’s where the aggression comes in!), mix all your butter in with your dry ingredients. This may take quite a bit of time as you mush it all together….just think of it like a mini-manicure of butter/oatmeal for your hands…
Keep going until the whole mixture is as mixed as it can get. It’ll be a little dryer than regular cookie dough, but you can eat it without being squicked-out by the eggs…because there aren’t any!