25 Weird Things You Never Knew You Could Do With Milk

1. Anyone who has ever had cold sores knows they’re both embarrassing and painful. You can treat them faster with milk!

2. When was the last time you got ink on a blouse, or had a pen leak at the bottom of your purse? Milk works as a great stain remover.

3. Next time you need to reach for fertilizer, reach for milk! It does your garden good!

4. Forget harsh chemicals, milk works as a hair straightener, naturally.

5. Itchy eczema is the worst. Milk will give you eczema relief and help soften dry, cracked skin.

6. Silverware looking tarnished? Use milk as a silverware polish or to shine other metals in your home.

7. Soap works great for everyday cleaning, but if you need an industrial strength hand cleaner, reach for some milk.

8. Love that antique look you see on furniture? Milk will help you make a furniture paint that will give you that look, and doesn’t have the same harsh chemical odor as everyday house paint.

9. Don’t pop that blister! If you need blister relief, you need milk!

10. Make-up remover run out? Don’t run to the store, run to the refrigerator instead.

11. Next time your kids are bored, show them this awesome color-changing milk experiment.

12. Want soft skin when you shave? You can use milk to make a shaving cream that’s natural and leaves your skin silky smooth.

13. Winter does no favor to our feet. But you can soften feet and keep them looking pretty even before sandal season starts.

14. Pesky mosquitoes got you down? Treat insect bites with milk to cut down on that itchy inflammation.

15. Milk does a lot of great things, but did you know it can actually repair cracked dishes?

16. Store-bought soap can leave our skin feeling tight and dry. Instead, you can make soap that will leave you smooth, and doesn’t have the same harsh irritants.

17. No time to wash your hair? Spray in this leave-in conditioner for soft, bouncy hair on the go.

18. I have no idea why you would make homemade plastic, but knowing you can make it using milk is incredible!

19. Treat cracked heels with milk and leave your feet feeling silky smooth.

20. Next time your couch gets dirty, reach for the milk. It can clean leather on furniture, and leave patent leather shoes looking pretty and new.

21. Treat yourself to a whole-body moisturizer by taking a milk bath. Your skin deserves it!

22. Got wrinkles? You can use milk to reduce the appearance of wrinkles and scars.

23. Next time you get a sunburn, don’t reach for the aloe, reach for the milk to reduce the inflammation and sooth the burn.

24. Want to give your houseplants pretty, shiny leaves? Milk will make them look bright and polished in no time!

25. Dark spots on your face or skin? Before you turn to Microderm Abrasion, you should try milk. It will lighten the appearance of dark pigment on your skin!

Ever wondered what else you can use rice for? Check it out here! 

Imagine that kind of mentality, but then apply it to my hoo-hicular area.

See, I need to see a gynecologist. It’s been an embarrassingly long time since I last went and I swear the list of reasons why not to go is growing faster than those dust bunnies who lived in my living room, rest their souls.

It started out not as badly. I’d moved from Fort Worth to San Antonio and didn’t want to go to a whole new doctor. I’d had mine since I was eighteen and the idea of finding a new one – fifteen years later – was a bit overwhelming. So I decided I’d wait to go when I came home for visits rather than find a new doctor.

Makes sense, right? Only, that didn’t happen. I ended up moving back and starting a new job, new hours, new everything, and never setting up that appointment.

Now I work from home and really have no excuse. I’ve got insurance, time, everything, but I’ve also got some…issues…with my lady bits and I don’t want to be ‘that’ girl on the table.

The last time I went to my gyno I was full on nature girl down there. My doctor actually said, “Whoa,” when he saw it. I think probably because at this point there could have been a small family living in all that hair and I wouldn’t have known, but it surprised him. I asked him why it surprised him and he said, “We just don’t see that as much now is all.”

The hair.

I shrugged it off at the time because it wasn’t like I had anyone else doing any spelunking down there or anything, but as the excuse of distance fell away, the hair excuse rose sharply to the surface: I can’t go to the gynecologist looking like this.

So I decided to do something about it. I Really need to go, after all, but since I didn’t want to be embarrassed I decided to go in fur-free.

Which is why I’m here today.

And brings us back to the beginning of this post…

Knowing I wanted to get a Brazilian for the first time, I decided I wanted to go in looking like I hadn’t been living in the wilderness for the past ten years. In other words, I decided to do it myself before going in to have it done.

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

If you go to pretty much any supermarket you can find aisles filled with products for hair removal. Waxing, creams, gels, shavers, basically every torture device imaginable.

Since my plan was to do a DIY Brazilian, then let it grow a smidge before going in for a professional Brazilian I settled on the wax.

The box said to heat it in the microwave, then apply it to the area where I planned to remove hair, then apply a swatch of cloth. Press gently, wait a few moments for the hair and wax to adhere to the sucker, and then let out a jungle yell whilst ripping it away.

It didn’t work out like that. First off, that wax burned like a mothereffer. I’m guessing perhaps it was meant for sturdier areas than my precious little flower, but I figured if this is what I was to look forward to during my professional experience I should get used to it now.

A few beads of sweat popped up on my brow as I pressed the cloth, but since the wax had started to cool I counted to five, grabbed the bottom of the cloth, and ripped with all my natural strength.

I’m not sure if I blacked out from the pain or if it transported me to another dimension, but when I came to the waxing strip was only halfway off my hoo-ha and wax had somehow clumped into other bits of the hair and glued it to me. The intensity of the pain was so bad that I could feel it almost trickling down me. Then I realized that was probably blood. I probably accidentally ripped off my junk and now I’d have to go into the emergency room and explain what happened.

But first I’d have to get the rest of that sheet off of me.

Knowing there was no way I could ever rip again, I instead got out a pair of scissors and very gently tried to cut myself free of the wreckage that had now become my undercarriage. Even though I have no idea how, there wasn’t actually gallons of blood pouring out of me, and my junk was still firmly in place, so at least I had that going for me.

So I went from having too much hair to looking like Edward Scissorhands had his way with me, and now I’m way Way too embarrassed to go to the gynecologist.

But at least I know when I finally do go there are far worse things than being able to grow dreadlocks from your hoo-ha. And I plan to tell him ALL about it.