What Hobbies Are Middle Aged Women Even Into?

I have a major issue. I spent my twenties gaming with dudes in random chat rooms and kicking butt at Mario Kart all while flirting my heart out. You see, I didn’t really hang out with women all that much, because– well, honestly, I was just way too boy crazy, and I don’t know if I ever realized I was missing out on that girly connection of sisterhood that so many of you guys all have.

I’ve always felt more like I was on the outisde of those friend groups looking in. I still pretty much feel that way, like when someone invites me to a random Facebook event, I always click interested, but then when the day of the actual event comes up, I am like, “Oh they probably meant to invite another Jamie…” and then I don’t go.

I don’t really know what thing I need to work on in my past that makes me think that way, but it’s a thing I do, and a lot of times it keeps me from trying out new hobbies.

Like, for example, I might see a plant class I really want to take all about Succulents or whatever, I sign up, I take one class, then I am like, “I asked way too many questions…” and I assume everyone is better off without me there.

I think that’s why I have a tendency to try and lead things or to record them for social media. They both give me sort of another reason to be at the thing or the whatever without it being about me having fun and being present in the moment.

Which, if I am being entirely honest, is what I am getting at… figuring out how the eff to be present in a world that feels like it’s moving way too fast or like it’s on pause and absoliutely nothing is happening at all.

I have always been great at finding the joy in whatever crap I have to do, but now that we are working on the thing I do actually being for the sake of bringing me joy… bro I am so lost.

What does that look like for a woman in her mid-forties? Should I try a hundred different classes all around town and try and figure out if I fit into any of them? Is there maybe a cotton candy tasting club I could be a part of? (If not, we should start one… oh, see there, I did it again– tried to lead because I am uncomfortable just being along for the ride and enjoying things.)

How do you do that? How do you discover what to do or where to do it or how? I don’t think I am looking for some sort of career change or anything like that, but what I would like to do in this whole new part of my life is to figure out what the purpose is each morning behind getting up, and making it happen.

For so long, we as moms knew the purpose was always to get the family through the day, but what happens when the family is doing great getting through the day all on their own, and now we are here… with time to pursue our joys, or time to figure out our next step in our career. (I don’t suggest giving up commercial blogging and going back into just blogging for joy if you want to keep your sanity though… just trust me on this one.)

So hobbies. What did I love before I was all engrossed in the trenches of single parenthood survival? I loved writing, and so far, since I’ve been doing that, I’ve felt a lot more like I am moving forward, but other than that I am still really stuck.

I mean, I love hanging out… but that’s not a hobby. Wait… is it?

Maybe I will just let you guys decide… what should my next hobby be?

Don’t say plants.