Women: Stop Making Excuses For Crappy Men!

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Please excuse me while I go on a little ranty-rant here, but there’s something I have to get off my chest: if a man is in your life, and treats you like crap He Doesn’t Love You. It’s not that he’s broken and needs fixing. It’s not that you’re a caregiver and just very willing to forgive, it’s that he’s a manipulator and you are a target. STOP. It doesn’t matter if he’s your brother, or your father, or your boyfriend or husband, HE is making choices and YOU are the one paying the consequences.

if a man is mean to you, he doesn't love you. he sucks. stop making excuses for him.

Women: Stop Making Excuses For Crappy Men!

Here are some things I’ve heard women say as excuses for why they take shit from the men in their lives:

1. He tells me how sorry he is after he does things…

Or, maybe he could just not do those things so that he doesn’t have to apologize for them. I’m all for apologies for making mistakes, but if someone hurts you over and over it’s not an accident anymore.

Jack Dawson from Titanic saying "sorry"

2. He literally doesn’t have anyone else in the world…

And that’s your fault because…? If he doesn’t have anyone else in the world, maybe you should take that as a sign that the world has rejected him…and so should you. It isn’t your job to be his one and only. He is not Legend.

3. Maybe if I just took better care of him, he’d be a better man…

Maybe if he grew the hell up, he’d learn to take care of himself. THAT would be an awesome sign that he’s on track to be a better man.

4. He didn’t mean to make me cry, he just doesn’t think about what he says sometimes…

If he’s made it into adulthood and can’t figure out how to be nice to others, that’s a him problem, not a you problem. If he’s saying things that make you cry, he didn’t care that those things would hurt you in the first place.

Rose from Titanic saying "you unimaginable bastard"

5. Things are hard for him…

Honey, things are hard on all of us. Things are hard on you. Yet you’re making it through somehow. Seriously, this excuse is just dumb. He either needs to learn to cope with his own shit, or go find a cave to live in…he does NOT need you to be his one and only.

6. He’s sweet sometimes…

And other times he’s an utter jackass or an abusive bastard. Know what else is sweet? Arsenic. But you’re smart enough to stay away from it because you know it’ll kill you. Do you really need a skull and crossbones warning on his forehead to do the same with him?

7. I probably provoked him…

Or not. Again, he’s an adult and can make his own damn choices. Know what I do when someone provokes me? I walk away. It’s tough, you know, considering walking is so hard, but…

Real Housewives of Orange County gif with text saying "he's a scumbag and a pig and a liar and a cheat"

8. He wasn’t always like this…

But the second he became this way that was HIS choice. Not something you did. And it’s his to fix, not yours.

9. I’m just such a caregiver…

That’s awesome! Become a nurse. Or volunteer at a hospital or animal shelter. Figure out who the elderly people are on your street and go visit them. Mow the neighbor’s yard for no reason while they aren’t looking. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

10. It really is my fault…

The only thing that’s your fault is thinking it’s okay for ANYONE to treat you like this. It is NOT.

a gif of a woman in a yelling dress with text that reads "this table just told me you're a douche"

Look, I know right now you might be thinking, “But you’re not in my relationship, you don’t know…” Truth is, I HAVE been there. And after I was out I volunteered at a women’s shelter for battered women and saw just how far things can get. And you might think he’d never go that far, and he may not. But making excuses for verbal, emotional, or physical excuse isn’t going to help him, and it certainly won’t help you. He doesn’t need you to make excuses for him. He needs you to hold him accountable for his actions. And you need to hold yourself accountable for what you’re willing to take from people. Not because you should harden yourself to the world, but because the world has no right to treat you like shit, and neither does he.

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One Comment

  1. Wow I definitely needed to read this just went thru thanks for helping me realize my worth. Wow just wow

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