When I married my husband, I thought I found the love of my life. We’d been together for so long and marriage was the natural next step in our epic love story. Right away, though, we knew we wanted to start a family. Between us, we had too much love not to spread it around, so when I found out I was pregnant with my first son, we couldn’t have been happier. Looking into my little boys’ eyes for the first time ever, I realized I only thought my husband was the love of my life. Sure, sure, different kind of love, but that little boy had me at Hello. Then when my second son was born, it was like our little family was truly complete. Now that they’re a little older, I’m finding that loving little boys is amazing but also…weird. Boys are weird. And I truly couldn’t be happier. Here are 10 Truths Moms Of Boys Know Too Well…because though they’ll always be the loves of my life, they are also crazy little bundles of energy who do truly disgusting things that only they find hilarious.
10 Truths Moms Of Boys Know Too Well…
1. Everything smells like pee. I don’t know if they mark their territory or if it’s because the aim is SO bad, but everything in the house smells like pee.
2. Stepping on LEGO’s is a fact of life. No matter how much I clean, those things are everywhere. It’s like they breed in the carpet or something.
3. Farts are funny. And so are burps. And they can be used as weapons. Please don’t fart on your brother has become a mantra with as often as I have to say it.
4. You-know-what’s can be stretched really far. It looks painful, but apparently that’s funny too. And they’re play-toys. And hitting them? Also very funny, according to my boys.
5. Underwear is multi-functional. Whether it be as actual underwear, a hat, or part of a superhero costume, underwear has Way more uses than I ever imagined.
6. Everything is a weapon. Forget about not getting toy guns for kids because Anything can be made into a gun/knife/machete/alien death ray. The other day I watched a tissue box become a sword. It’s like it’s in their DNA.
7. Goldfish don’t stand a chance. So far in my home they’ve been swallowed, stepped on, bathed, and brought to the store in a pocket. Stop buying goldfish, you say? No, I’d rather them learn these life lessons with goldfish than with a puppy.
8. Silence is terrifying. As a mommy time alone is rare, and for about a second, the quiet feels amazing. Then, you realize quiet means something truly bad that they don’t want you to know about is happening. I’ve never been more terrified of silence in my life.
9. Creepy creatures are a part of life. Not only are they given to you as gifts, they’re found in the weirdest places. When you make a little boy’s bed, you should Always be prepared to have a frog, lizard, or snake pop out at you.
10. They love you best of all. Even if they think kisses are gross most of the time, the second they get hurt or are sick YOU are the only one they want. I know I’m my boy’s first love and that’s both a huge responsibility and the most amazing thing in the world.