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I Don’t Care If My Husband Watches THAT, I Watch It, Too!

I don’t care if my husband watches porn. Like at all.

Well, I mean, not while he’s driving…or when he’s supposed to be taking out the trash. But if I’m not home and he’s got a spare minute? He’s welcome to peel his own carrot.

Now, for some of you this is a non-issue. Of course some men look at porn. Of course they sometimes slap their salami. But a select handful of you ladies might be appalled at the idea that your significant other might like to partake of a little porno while you’re not looking. Well…I’ve got news for you. I don’t care if my husband watches porn because, sometimes, I do too.

I Don’t Care If My Husband Watches THAT, I Watch It, Too!

I didn’t realize that this was something to be remarked upon until I met a woman who for whom the idea of watching pornography was tantamount to a full punch card, redeemable for a free trip straight to Hell. She was a random stranger I met at a bookstore. It might not surprise you to learn that our personal pornographic proclivities weren’t the initial topic of conversation. No, it came up because of the movie Don Jon. In case you are unaware of this underrated Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie, it is about a man who develops unrealistic expectations about life and intimacy from watching porn. I won’t go into the details because I have a lot of thoughts about this movie (everyone in the movie’s expectations are unrealistic INCLUDING the audience’s.) Suffice it to say that the woman didn’t care for Don Jon because the protagonist watched porn instead of doing what she thought he should have done and tossed his laptop into a bucket of hand sanitizer while begging Scarlett Johansson’s forgiveness.

She said that if she ever caught her husband jerkin’ his gherkin to a video of another woman, she’d divorce him. To this woman, watching porn was tantamount to cheating on a spouse.

I laughed at her. Like, out loud. She didn’t care for that. She also didn’t care for the fact that I then informed her that I, a woman, occasionally looked at porn. She sputtered then looked at me like I’d grown a second head. Now, I’m not in the habit of telling random strangers that I sometimes look at porn. But I also don’t think my husband is cheating on me if he watches a few videos with naked ladies.

My parents weren’t pro porno. But as I grew older I realized that they were really anti-porno either. It was really very ‘don’t ask, don’t tell but if you get caught you will get punished’. All of that culminated into my attitude of I don’t mind looking at porn, and I don’t mind my husband looking at porn. I just don’t want to do it together.

Sure, porn isn’t a squeaky clean (more like sticky) pastime. It can create unrealistic expectations from both parties as to what sex should be like. (Hint: If it looks painful and impossible onscreen then it’s probably painful and impossible in real life.) Sometimes it can even be blamed for poor performance in the bedroom if the either party indulged in solitary sin earlier in the day.

No, I don’t think he’s cheating on me by watching videos of other women. No, I’m not offended or think that he doesn’t find me attractive. I am not that insecure.

If it comes down to a question of morals for you, well then that’s a discussion you’ll have to have with your significant other.

As for my husband and I, we are a partnership of equal adults. I don’t own him and he doesn’t own me. Neither of us should dictate what the other does in their spare time. If either of us wants to oogle Google so we can tickle our pickle, yank our yams, or manipulate our mangos while the other isn’t home, we’re fine.

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