I have been pretty clear about how much I love being single. I like going places by myself. I like deciding what I want to do and then actually doing it, without turning my afternoon into a group project.
Anyway, I would like you to meet my husband.
His name is Spidey D. He is Dunkin’s Spider Donut, and yes, I used AI to marry him at a spooky theme park while wearing my Dunkin tracksuit. Apparently I have accepted our AI overlords, and this is what I am choosing to do with that technology.
All of the wedding and date pictures here are AI-created fantasy. I have given a donut a whole romantic life with me, and I think we look very happy together.
Also, Dunkin sent me that tracksuit years ago, and I still wear it. If I am having an imaginary Dunkin wedding, I already own the outfit.
He can come on the fall walk
Spidey D won’t disrupt my peace. He won’t spend all my money on in-game currency. He is perfectly happy to join the fall walk I was already taking, and he has never once suggested we do something else.
I realize being imaginary gives him an advantage here. I’m fine with it.
I like my life. I like being able to go do the things I want to do. Adding a little purple donut to the pictures is about as much interference as I am interested in, and look at his face. He seems thrilled to be included.
We also have a pumpkin patch date, where he is holding a pumpkin with his little chocolate arms. Then there is the bookstore date. We are sharing a book, he has his own tiny seat, and I am still wearing the tracksuit. Apparently it is suitable for every occasion in this relationship.
And then there is the paddleboarding picture. He has a little life jacket. He is sitting in a basket. I am paddling us around, and he is just happy to be there.
This is the level of romantic complication I can support right now.
Spidey D is coming back
My affection for this donut predates the wedding album. There is even my Spider Donut taste-test video from 2024.
According to Dunkin, the Spider Donut returns nationwide on October 14, 2026, for a limited time. He has purple frosting, a Chocolate Glazed MUNCHKINS donut hole in the center, chocolate icing legs and vanilla-flavored icing eyes. That is the actual donut. The bow tie and ability to accompany me to a bookstore are additions to our fictional life together.
He also has merch coming. The Spidey D Collection launches October 14 at noon Eastern at DunkinRunsonMerch.com, with apparel, accessories, collectibles and décor priced from $22 to $100, while supplies last. That noon launch is for the online merch, so keep it separate from the donut’s return to restaurants.
If you want something to drink with yours, our Dunkin Halloween drinks guide covers the earlier seasonal lineup.
I am so glad he is back. I get to keep my peace, enjoy my single life and have an absurd little donut boyfriend who looks delighted to go wherever I want.
Honestly? Perfect boyfriend.
