I really love Christmas.
Christmas is truly my time to thrive.
The magic in the air. The giving. The joy from being surrounded by those we love.
But this year, I’ve struggled so hard with finding that Christmas spirit and magic.
Trust me, I am really trying.
I am trying to be that holly, jolly mom and wife but I am seriously lacking.
I’ve never felt less Christmassy in my life.
While I’ve really tried to tell myself that it’s okay to have a minimal Christmas, to have less presents, less holiday decor and less people, I’ve had a really hard time actually believing it.
Christmas is a time we spend with our extended family and the thought of not seeing them this year, is heartbreaking.
Of course, we will make the best of it.
We will FaceTime family and make the holiday the best we can for our children but it’s not the same and it SUCKS.
In the 30 years of my life, I cannot remember a time I’ve ever felt this sad and unhappy about the holidays.
I am trying to keep perspective and remind myself how truly lucky I am to have my husband and kids during this time.
I will do all the holiday things and put on a happy face but inside, my heart is aching. My joy is gone.
So, if you are struggling with the holidays this year, just know you are not alone. I feel you.
