Here's Why the 'Nacho Parenting' Method Is Gaining Popularity Among Stepparents

Stepparents don’t have it easy, and there are plenty of movies to prove it.

It’s been done a million times over in Hollywood where the step-mom or step-dad have trouble connecting with the step-kid, and ultimately making matters worse when they do try and parent.

For example, Freaky Friday, The Parent Trap, etc., and while the movie industry doesn’t influence stepparents’ parenting skills, it does portray a common theme we see in households with blended families.

And that’s trying to create a bond and how to parent step-kids when you feel like its not your place too, which is why the ‘Nacho Parenting’ method has recently gained its popularity.

Nacho Parenting, is also known as a “not your kids, not your responsibility” parenting method and here’s how it works.

For example, your step-kid isn’t listening to repeated pleas to clean their room so you try a reward system or punishment if that doesn’t work, to only come to realize that you’re the one who’s cleaning their room in the end.

The Nacho Parenting method would have you tell your partner the problem at hand because the issue is not your problem or responsibility.

The Nacho method is a controversial parenting technique for many step-parents which is why Lori Sims, the woman behind the Nacho Kids movement explains why it worked for her blended family.

After going to couple’s counseling with her partner David, regarding years of battling what she thought to be lenient parenting on David’s side, their therapist kept pointing out that his kids were not hers, Lori told The Atlantic.

“All that man said to me is ‘They are nacho kids!’” Sims recalled, noting that she and David burst into laughter at this point. “The clouds parted, and the rays from heaven came down, and it hit me. They are not my kids. I was creating my own misery by trying to parent these kids who already had two parents.”
Lori Sims

However, the Nacho method is not mentally checking out whenever a step-kid doesn’t listen, rather it’s about “disengaging appropriately” and allowing space for your significant other to do the parenting.

“Some may need a bit of a push, but their kids are their responsibility and you did not marry them to take over their parental roles,” Lori Sims explains in the FAQ section of her website titled Nacho Kids.
Lori Sims

The Nacho technique also does not mean to abstain from maternal instincts, rather it asks you to step back look at the assumptions in your relationship with your significant other to adjust them accordingly.

And a biological parent shouldn’t assume that their partner is automatically signed up for the complete list of obligations of a biological parent; boundaries should be discussed.