Skip to Content

Why Your Kid Should Have No Expectation of Privacy

There is no expectation of privacy in my house. I can barge in without knocking, I’m allowed to read text messages at any time, and I have all the passwords to all the things.

no expectation of privacy

That is my most important rule. When my daughter started watching more YouTube than Netflix, I knew I was in for it, but that’s the norm for kids these days and it’s just all about making sure you know what they are watching. You have to know what multi-media content your kids are consuming.

The way I do that is by knowing every single password my daughter has. Any time I grab her phone I can look through her texts, Instagram pictures, and whatever else I want to? Why– not because I pay the bills and blah blah, but because when you’re a teen or a tween, there shouldn’t be anything on your phone so private that it would bother you if other people saw it. Especially your mom.

there is no expectation of privacy in my house

And this goes both ways. I don’t have things on my phone that my daughter can’t read. I am not doing things on the internet I don’t want my daughter to know about. If we are going to teach our kids to be safe on the Internet, we have to teach them that NOTHING they do on the internet is private. Did you read that? No? Go back and read it again, because it’s really important. Nothing anyone does on the internet is private, and our kids need to know that.

They need to understand that tonight’s snapchat is tomorrow’s group text message blasted to the whole school, and while I wish that they could make these mistakes in private, they can’t. They don’t get to. We HAVE to teach them this, and they have to understand it, but they have to understand it without us beating them upside the head with it. Why? Because if we are beating our kids upside the head with this information, then they are going to stop listening to us. I promise.

kids ipad

So, do me a favor, don’t give your kid any privacy– especially on the internet. Be very aware of what they are doing, and who they are talking about. This is important. They need you to watch them, because even though we are teaching them to make good choices for themselves, and we want them to be smart, they are dealing with things that we never EVER had to deal with at their age. Things that can follow them around for the REST. OF. THEIR. LIVES.

Want more? Check out Ten Things I Want my Daughter To Know Before She Turns Ten.

ten things I want my daughter to know before she turns ten

Snehal

Friday 28th of January 2022

Okay fine. I understand there are things that make parents paranoid when it comes to giving privacy to their children. But why don't you understand privacy is not another word for doing private things or whatever they aren't supposed to. Having some privacy to themselves is as important as sharing their things with parents. Like most parents, mine don't have a clear understanding of the privacy I need to have too. I'm 20 now, and I understand what I should and shouldn't do. And trust me when you keep telling your kids not to do something, it only makes them curious again and makes them want to do it more desperately than before. And it's not just online privacy that they need. Come on now, a child of 20 years old will want to sit alone for sometime with themselves and talk to themselves. They don't have to always talk to parents for everything. And you are just making it worse for your daughter. You are forcing her into depression, anxiety and paranoia. And that doesn't mean she's doing something she shouldn't. She just wants time to be herself and be with herself. Aghh!

formerkid

Friday 24th of December 2021

Strict parents raise sneaky kids.

My parents were controlling about my online life, and the only thing that taught me was how to downlaod TOR and clear my search history, lol.

And our relationship didn't improve from the surveillence. I didn't tell them I was moving out until the day before I did it, and I haven't been back home since.

Maybe you should think twice about this particular rule.

Noneofyourbeezwax

Thursday 12th of August 2021

You’re not teaching her responsibility, you’re only teaching her how to be sneakier and to lie better. Also the most important lesson to your kid is that you can’t be trusted, so when she inevitably messes up ( because duh, kid) she will avoid you and your judgmental self at all cost. -source: and adult that doesn’t talk to her mom anymore because she was just like you.

eluk<33

Saturday 29th of January 2022

@Noneofyourbeezwax, this is literally gonna be me help

WTF

Tuesday 3rd of August 2021

Yeah my parents never gave me any privacy... so I got married at 18 and left the CONTINENT. Now in my 30's they are begging me to please come home and visit and i'm like FK YOU AND FK THAT! I hope you learn your lesson.

Me

Friday 25th of June 2021

You're crazy and I feel bad for your kids.. You have no private things you want to look up on the internet? Also, there is a privacy policy at the bottom of this page. Lolz