Why Your Kid Should Have No Expectation of Privacy

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There is no expectation of privacy in my house. I can barge in without knocking, I’m allowed to read text messages at any time, and I have all the passwords to all the things.

no expectation of privacy

That is my most important rule. When my daughter started watching more YouTube than Netflix, I knew I was in for it, but that’s the norm for kids these days and it’s just all about making sure you know what they are watching. You have to know what multi-media content your kids are consuming.

The way I do that is by knowing every single password my daughter has. Any time I grab her phone I can look through her texts, Instagram pictures, and whatever else I want to? Why– not because I pay the bills and blah blah, but because when you’re a teen or a tween, there shouldn’t be anything on your phone so private that it would bother you if other people saw it. Especially your mom.

there is no expectation of privacy in my house

And this goes both ways. I don’t have things on my phone that my daughter can’t read. I am not doing things on the internet I don’t want my daughter to know about. If we are going to teach our kids to be safe on the Internet, we have to teach them that NOTHING they do on the internet is private. Did you read that? No? Go back and read it again, because it’s really important. Nothing anyone does on the internet is private, and our kids need to know that.

They need to understand that tonight’s snapchat is tomorrow’s group text message blasted to the whole school, and while I wish that they could make these mistakes in private, they can’t. They don’t get to. We HAVE to teach them this, and they have to understand it, but they have to understand it without us beating them upside the head with it. Why? Because if we are beating our kids upside the head with this information, then they are going to stop listening to us. I promise.

kids ipad

So, do me a favor, don’t give your kid any privacy– especially on the internet. Be very aware of what they are doing, and who they are talking about. This is important. They need you to watch them, because even though we are teaching them to make good choices for themselves, and we want them to be smart, they are dealing with things that we never EVER had to deal with at their age. Things that can follow them around for the REST. OF. THEIR. LIVES.

Want more? Check out Ten Things I Want my Daughter To Know Before She Turns Ten.

ten things I want my daughter to know before she turns ten

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  1. Okay fine. I understand there are things that make parents paranoid when it comes to giving privacy to their children. But why don’t you understand privacy is not another word for doing private things or whatever they aren’t supposed to. Having some privacy to themselves is as important as sharing their things with parents.
    Like most parents, mine don’t have a clear understanding of the privacy I need to have too. I’m 20 now, and I understand what I should and shouldn’t do. And trust me when you keep telling your kids not to do something, it only makes them curious again and makes them want to do it more desperately than before. And it’s not just online privacy that they need. Come on now, a child of 20 years old will want to sit alone for sometime with themselves and talk to themselves. They don’t have to always talk to parents for everything. And you are just making it worse for your daughter. You are forcing her into depression, anxiety and paranoia. And that doesn’t mean she’s doing something she shouldn’t. She just wants time to be herself and be with herself. Aghh!

  2. Strict parents raise sneaky kids.

    My parents were controlling about my online life, and the only thing that taught me was how to downlaod TOR and clear my search history, lol.

    And our relationship didn’t improve from the surveillence. I didn’t tell them I was moving out until the day before I did it, and I haven’t been back home since.

    Maybe you should think twice about this particular rule.

  3. You’re not teaching her responsibility, you’re only teaching her how to be sneakier and to lie better. Also the most important lesson to your kid is that you can’t be trusted, so when she inevitably messes up ( because duh, kid) she will avoid you and your judgmental self at all cost.
    -source: and adult that doesn’t talk to her mom anymore because she was just like you.

    1. @Noneofyourbeezwax, this is literally gonna be me help

  4. Yeah my parents never gave me any privacy… so I got married at 18 and left the CONTINENT. Now in my 30’s they are begging me to please come home and visit and i’m like FK YOU AND FK THAT! I hope you learn your lesson.

  5. You’re crazy and I feel bad for your kids.. You have no private things you want to look up on the internet? Also, there is a privacy policy at the bottom of this page. Lolz


  7. this was NOT helpful for my debate. But I won’t hate it because the comments are just so sad

  8. You should never ever EVER do that. Kids should have some privacy ad it’s good for the development.

  9. Wow. You’re a terribly mother and your daughter is going to hate you

  10. You’re obese.
    Your child is obese.

    Good luck, psycho.

  11. Not sure how old this post is but you’re a narcissistic psychopath. Glad you’re jot my mom. My mom did some crazy things regarding privacy but she later apologized. She’s an amazing mother and I love her. But you are spouting this irresponsible bile as a guide for parenting for the rest of the internet. One day in the future, you will be culpable of a crime. Privacy is a right for all humans and children are humans. You disgust me and clearly I’m not the only one.

  12. This really isn’t ok. Coming from a teen with extreme diagnosed paranoia, this is possibly the most terrifying thing a parent can do. Let the kid do what they want. This is seriously going to cause trust issues in the future. I hope they don’t end up like me. I can’t trust anyone, I don’t make friends, I talk as less as possible, because I’m too scared to. A lot of my paranoia is from my family, mostly my dad constantly invading my privacy. Just look up the dangers of no privacy, doing this will cause lots of problems. I hope your child is safe and trusts you. I hope she doesn’t end up like me, and I wish her the best of luck.

  13. This shows a complete lack of trust for your child and they will likely either resent you for it and never trust you or others and/or become extremely anxious and afraid they’ll never have privacy. This is actually bordering abusive, barging in on a child while masturbating or changing for example can become sexual abuse, and not giving them privacy or trusting them can be traumatic for them. Please seek help. It’s obvious you feel you have the right to exert excessive control over your child because they are like property to you/ smaller and more helpless. This is not normal. It’s domineering.

  14. I am so lucky to have a mom that loves me enough to check up on me!

      1. His mother wrote that. LOL

  15. Speaking as someone in their 20s who was a teen not too long ago, I also disagree. Monitoring, yes. But no privacy? That is a recipe for them just getting better at hiding stuff and then later not wanting to share with you at all, even if they do have privacy later on. My mother monitored me, but I was never worried that she’d be rifling through my stuff. I had some secrets from her, but also felt comfortable talking to her about the important things. Now, later in life, I am very open about most things with her. Yes, I was dealing with things my mother never had to deal with, but feeling like I had no privacy would not have helped. It would have just made me paranoid and sneaky. I know this because I’ve seen it happen to friends. Their parents gave them no privacy like you suggest, and now they don’t feel like they can go to their parents for anything in fear of it being used against them. No matter how many times their parents say “you can talk to me about anything” they still are not comfortable around their own parents. I also saw those kids sneak around more because that was the only way they felt like they could go anywhere. (Not even to do bad things!) And it’s sad. It really breaks my heart for them because I value my relationship with my mom so much, and they don’t get that because they don’t trust their parents. I also saw those teens sneak around more because that was the only way they felt like they could go anywhere. (Not even to do bad things!)

    Maybe if they start down a bad path, then start to take away some (SOME) privacy, but if they haven’t even done anything to not deserve it? They’ll just resent you later on.

  16. I agree with at least monitoring your child’s internet activity, its smart, but everything else is a bit extreme. I’m personally angry with the whole “I don’t knock before I enter their bedroom.” I know they might have the same sex as their kid, but i know when I was young, I didn’t care if it was another female but if I was getting dressed in my room I wouldn’t want them barging in! Suffocating your kids like this can do just as much damage as letting them run free and wild.

  17. Wow. Just wow. No privacy at all is a recipe for trust issues and super sneaky activities. Good luck with that.

  18. “but because when you’re a teen or a tween, there shouldn’t be anything on your phone so private that it would bother you if other people saw it. Especially your mom.”

    absolutely not true. And quite frankly, rather selfish of you.

  19. OMG! Star Wars Kid WINS THE INTERNET!!!! I love him! He’s like the epitome of my teenage years. Man!!!

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