I’m very much a best friend person.
I’d rather have a few really great friends than a ton of acquaintances. I don’t know if I’m an introvert or an extrovert because like— I love going out, but also if it’s crowded I want to go home immediately.
So whatever that is, I’m that. But I like going and doing stuff with a few people, not a ton. People I don’t have to walk on eggshells around. People I can be myself with.
There’s a huge problem with that, though, when you move to a whole new city and try your damndest to find real authentic friendships while also being your own weird self, things can go awry.
Which, recently happened to me. I moved, and made a friend. It takes a lot for me to let anyone in my tiny friend circle, because honestly I’m kind of a blunt person and you need to be able to deal with that if you’re going to be friends with me.
Yeah, I’m working on it.
Anyway, my whole point is, I let a friend get super close, started to care all the way about her, her kids, and just everything in her life.
Her bs was starting to be my bs. I was starting to actually care. she was who I called. She was my bestie. And that was fun.
Then, that all changed, we had a falling out (I take full responsibility. Again, I’m mean.) and now we don’t talk.
Nobody talks about what it’s like to going from talking to someone every single day to caring about everything in their life from what shoes they’re wearing to who they’re dating, to what their super secret hopes and dreams are to just wishing each other the best and seeing each other in passing.
It’s hard. Sometimes too hard. I walked into a bar that we both frequent the other day and she was there.
I walked right back out. It was easier than having to sit in the same place and know we aren’t sharing stories anymore.
It was easier than knowing she was there wishing I wasn’t.
Friend breakups suck.
You know you’re going to take each other’s secrets to the grave, but you also know there’s someone out there that was so a part of your life, and now they’re just… not.
How do you handle them? What do you do?
