I let AI ask for something because I was too scared to do it myself.
Which is a ridiculous thing to admit when you run a website and have spent years doing exactly this kind of work. But I think I’m always a little scared that I’m not worthy of the opportunity.
And not even because I think the company is going to say no. Sometimes the scarier possibility is that somebody will say yes.
I didn’t even want to know what it was asking for
I let AI handle a request to FUN.com, and I told it not to tell me what it was doing.
I didn’t want to sit there worrying about every word or talking myself out of asking. I wanted it to just do the asking, and then I could deal with the answer.
Except the answer was yes.
And my immediate reaction was basically, OH MY GOD, WHAT COSTUME HAVE I ASKED FOR?!
I had voluntarily created a mystery for myself. I didn’t know what costume was coming, and I was panicking about that even while being completely excited.
There’s already a whole other story about the costume surprise. This one is about why I needed somebody—or, apparently, something—to hit send in the first place.
It didn’t make me sound better than I am
Here’s the thing I keep having to remind myself: AI didn’t bolster me up or make me sound better than I am.
It didn’t invent a bigger website or a more impressive version of me. It just did the asking.
And when the company said yes, they said yes based on actual me.
Which is somehow the part my brain has trouble with.
I’ve always known I can do this. And then I have these little moments when I realize, oh yeah, wait. I mean, I so totally can.
It’s honestly kind of crazy how much work it can take to believe something you already know.
Apparently I’m allowed to take up space
I was scared I couldn’t do myself justice. Then I remembered I hadn’t oversold myself at all. I just asked and received.
I think that’s the real lesson I’m still learning: it’s okay to take up space as a blogger.
Not by making yourself sound bigger than you are. Not by promising things you can’t deliver. Just by being the person who did the work and asking for the opportunity.
I wish I could tell you that one yes magically cured every bit of self-doubt. It didn’t. I’m still the person who asked AI not to show me the email because I knew I’d overthink it.
But I’m also the person who got to see what happened when that fear didn’t get the final vote.
Someone said yes.
To me.
Which is apparently something I’m still learning to let myself believe.
