Looking For the Perfect I Hate You Letter?

I was looking through my blog stats this morning, and I discovered that many people are coming to my blog to find the perfect I hate you letter.

You want to write someone a letter to tell them how much you hate them? Personally, when I hate someone–I usually just stop talking to them. That seems to work for me, but if you really want the perfect I hate you letter, it would be wrong for me not to help out. I am after all, a writer.

Dear Friend, Foe, Frienemy, Ex-Boyfriend’s Cat, etc.,

When people ask me if there’s anything in my life I regret, my knee jerk reaction is to say no–because my mother taught me not to use that word. She said it was tacky and my face would stick like that–oh wait, that was crossing my eyes. Oh, you know what I mean. So, I may have promised I would never hate someone–but I was wrong. I really hate you.

I hate you the way a rat hates cheese. Wait, a rat really loves cheese. Maybe I hate you the way a rat hates a cat eating a piece of cheese right in front of his face. Yeah, that’s it.

In fact, I think I hate you more than my mom hated the word hate.

I hope this doesn’t make you too sad, because I think if you dig down deep–you’ll discover that you hate me too. So, now that our mutual disdain for one another is out there, we don’t have to talk anymore.

Hate,

YOUR NAME HERE

I hope that helps you guys out!

Oh, and if you’re really needing to write an I hate you letter to someone–do it in the comments below. It’s sort of therapeutic, and I won’t tell anyone! (promise.)