I consider myself a pretty cool mom. (Which might automatically make me less cool just for saying that.) I try to understand what is going on in the world of teenagers, and I usually understand what they’re talking about. But, I had no idea what a thotty picture was and you probably don’t know either.
All the girls were over for a slumber party, and I was fixing them a late-night snack. They had congregated in the kitchen, and started talking. (As the mom of a teenager, this is kind of the moment you live for.
When they sort of forget you’re in the room and start talking like they do when you aren’t around.)
“Did you see that thotty picture Alexis* just posted to her Insta Story?
(This is a thing by the way, nobody actually uses their “grid” on instagram. They all just post to their stories.)
“It was so cringey. I can’t believe she posted a thotty picture! She never does that! I wonder what’s up with her?”
The first thing I wanted to do was ask what a thotty picture was, but I couldn’t risk being exposed, I had camouflaged into the background!
So I did what any self respecting mom would do. I googled. Turns out THOT is actually an acronym for “That Ho Over There.” This is the new way of saying a girl is easy.
BUT a thotty picture actually has a little bit different definition.
Once I’d started thinking that the girls were calling other girls that name, I stepped in, “Ladies. Remember build each other up. Don’t tear each other down.”
It’s kind of my motto. They hear it all the time.
“No mom. That’s not it. It’s more like something you post when you just want attention.”
“It’s a Feeling Cute” Picture.
“Wait, what? There’s a name for that sort of picture?”
“That’s what all the filters are for!”
The girls then spent the next half hour or so schooling me how girls use the filters to make themselves look super cute on Instagram, how they take hundreds and hundreds of pictures, find the cutest, and then post it just so people will say good things about them.
Oh, and then they always add the “might delete later” part because they want people to know that if they don’t like the pictures and give them the validation they are craving, then they will pout and delete their pic.
Sigh, I don’t even know where to begin with this. How do we talk to our daughters about this sort of thing? How much time are they spending on these?
But I didn’t get into it with them that night. Instead we just had fun talking about it, because sometimes that’s what you do. Sometimes it’s not about the lesson.
Sometimes it’s just about hanging out.
So, I posted my own Thotty picture. They were not impressed.
*I changed their names. I am not crazy!