Things We Do To Drive Ourselves Crazy Archives • Totally The Bomb.com

I Never Expected Being A Stay-At-Home-Parent Would Be So Lonely…

Heavy Handed Advice

Over the last few weeks I’ve become a mostly stay-at-home-dad. I’ve been working two, maybe three days a week while my wife is crushing it in her new, fancy accounting job. When my better half and I switched roles, I knew I’d keep busy. I’ve got rooms to clean, and endless stream of laundry to wash, meals to prepare, a house to maintain, but I didn’t know that I’d spend most of my time wrestling with soul-crushing loneliness. I Never Expected Being A Stay-At-Home-Parent Would Be So Lonely... If you know me, that might sound weird. I don’t like people. I don’t understand most of them. I Keep Reading >>>

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After Divorce: Trying To Date When You Have A Teenager

Heavy Handed Advice

I've been divorced five years. That's half as long as I was married. So I thought it might be time to start dating again. But my daughter is fifteen. And this means she's dating, too. So, yes. That means my daughter and I can go out on a double date. Look, we're not actually going to do that or anything, but holy moly, we totally could. Here's the thing, I have a responsibility to my daughter not only to be a good mom, and a good role model, but also to show her what kinds of guys to choose. To show her that guys shouldn't be coming home with me after a date, to show her what it Keep Reading >>>

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My Kid Caught My Husband And I Doing The Deed

Heavy Handed Advice

We should have locked the door. But we didn't. We should have waited until we were sure he was asleep. But we didn't. My tween walked right in on us, and I am not even sure he looked up. "Mom, my ear hurts..." And that's when my husband jumped off of me in a move so stunning he's now considering applying for Cirque Du Soleil. "What, baby?" I start grasping for my comforter. Where was that damn thing anyway? How did it end up on the floor? I was still trying to comprehend how he was standing in the doorway. I mean, we remembered to put the dog in his crate, how did we Keep Reading >>>

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Organizing Your Workspace

Heavy Handed Advice

For the majority of us, work is an occasionally awesome but mostly unfortunate fact of life that we just have to deal with. Why would you want to sit at a desk when you could be sipping Mai Tais on a beach somewhere? If you're lucky enough to work from home, then you have a lot more leeway when it comes to decorating your workspace (and whether you get to have Mai Tais after all), but no matter where you work, Organizing Your Workspace is an important thing to consider to keep you happily typing away. Organizing Your Workspace Start by taking everything off your desk - give Keep Reading >>>

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15 Things For Your Summer Bucket List

Heavy Handed Advice

It can be really hard to make the most of your summer when it's super hot outside and no one feels like leaving the comfort of the A/C. Let's face it, we're all pretty lazy, which is a shame because having the kids home from school all summer is the perfect time to introduce them to all kinds of new opportunities and experiences. Or to mentally scar them for life. You should probably shoot for those exciting new experiences though. If you're looking for an easy way to plan for the best summer ever, look no further than our Summer Bucket List! It comes with a calendar, a sample checklist with Keep Reading >>>

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Whoever Invented Underwire Hated Women…And I Had The Rash To Prove It

Heavy Handed Advice

If you peeked into my underwear drawer you would find exactly one wired bra, but it's the one bra I refuse to wear. The only time I put that thing on is in the case of an end-of-the-world emergency, like when all my other bras are in the laundry and I don't want to venture outside braless (although sometime that argument still isn't strong enough to get me to put that cursed thing on). Sure, that bra makes my boobs look bigger and perkier, but I just can't tolerate that thing for more than a couple of minutes. I swear there are little tiny daggers sewn into the seams. Seriously, whoever Keep Reading >>>

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I’ve Been Using Chopsticks All Wrong (And So Have You!)

One of the biggest accomplishments of my adult life was learning how to use chopsticks. Not even a lie. It was on par with learning how to whistle or how to well, whistling is really the biggest shame. One of those things that people never want to admit that they just don't know how to do. Yes, for many years I was the person who had to use a fork at Chinese restaurants whilst surrounded by friends who were all chopping it up. Turns out, though, ALL OF US WERE USING THEM WRONG. My adult life has been a lie and I'm here now to rescue you from the same shame. Did you know there's a reason Keep Reading >>>

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I Have A Cold And Why You Don’t Care

Heavy Handed Advice

Excuse me a second while I take some medicine and blow my nose. I don’t know where you live, but it’s cold season here. It’s that season where you pile on some warm, comfy pajamas and curl up on the couch. Season 3 of Gilmore Girls isn’t going to watch itself. Maybe take an hour-long bath, and the only reason the bath is an hour instead of, say, five hours, is because at some point water cools and the laws of nature are against you. Maybe your better half takes little Rudiger Jr. to soccer practice. And you know the potential for ice cream is always in play because you’ve got a tickle in your Keep Reading >>>

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My House Is Never Clean, And I’m Okay With That

Heavy Handed Advice

This weekend we're getting ready to visit my future mother-in-law. These trips are always a nice break from the every day for us, but they also highlight one rather crucial shortcoming in my life: I am not a cleaner. I don't do the dishes after every meal. I do not sweep daily. I do not wash, dry, hang or fold laundry in one magical day. The truth is, my house is never clean. But, I'm okay with that. My House Is Never Clean, And I'm Okay With That I'm not a slob, but I'm not a neat person by nature. Some studies like to say it's because creative people need a bit of mess in their lives. Keep Reading >>>

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Should You Ask About Guns In The House Before You Let Your Kids Stay?

Heavy Handed Advice

It's tough to find good friends as adults and it's even tougher to find adults we actually trust with our children. So many times, we think we have found the perfect people. We get to know them, spend time with them, dinners, park play times. It takes a lot of time to build up trust. When my daughter was four, I had these really nice neighbors that lived right behind us. Our kids were the same age, our husbands were in similar jobs, and the mom and I actually liked each other! This was huge for me, because I hadn't really trusted anyone other than grandparents with my kids, but what Keep Reading >>>

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How To Know If You’re Doing An ‘Okay’ Job As A Parent

Heavy Handed Advice

Tonight my daughter told me she hated me. She screamed it, in fact, before flipping her hair and marching upstairs to her bedroom. The door slammed and while part of me wanted to run after her and talk to her, I knew the best thing would be to give her time to cool down. My daughter is twelve. She came to me this afternoon and asked if she could go to the mall with her new friend (just moved in down the street), and I told her no. See, I don't know her new friend's parents. We've met in passing, but never really talked. And while I realize twelve is almost old enough to hang out at the Keep Reading >>>

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I Put Off Intimacy With My Husband After Pregnancy Because I Was Ashamed Of My Body

Heavy Handed Advice

Over and over I've seen other moms talk about their stretch marks as 'tiger stripes', 'warrior scars', 'hope wounds', but I hated mine. And the worst part was I couldn't tell anyone how much I hated them. I remember starting the conversation with a friend of mine. "I had the baby and now my skin is all stretched out of shape..." She called it glorious. Said that we should embrace our bodies and be so happy with what we've accomplished. I carried a baby for a little over nine months, I'm proud of that. But the way my body looks now? Here's the truth...and it's something we mommies don't Keep Reading >>>

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Why Is Valentine’s Day Still A Thing?

Heavy Handed Advice

I'm just going to go ahead and say it: I don't like Valentine's Day. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm all for love. I appreciate both the grande gestures that take immense planning and the small gestures that may simply come in the form of hand holding or brushing a stray hair out of a partner's eyes. What I don't like is the expectation. I don't like the conditioning we have towards giving and receiving gifts on a certain day to prove our love.I don't like the retail push for spending money on trinkets that get disregarded by the next week. Seriously, why is Valentine's Day still a Keep Reading >>>

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Why Elf On The Shelf Is Actually Bad For Your Kids

Heavy Handed Advice

Seems like a great concept: every year as we put away our Thanksgiving platters, and take out our Christmas tree, we think about the Elf and all the merriment he'll bring our children in December. We plan his pranks, and antics - the blue milk, the tiny sooty Elf footprints leading away from the fireplace. We set him up riding Dinosaurs and breaking chunks off the family gingerbread house and it's just so freaking adorable. But is Elf on the Shelf actually bad for your kids? Are we setting our children up for years of disappointment by shoving so much magic and merriment into one month? Keep Reading >>>

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How To Stay Out Of Facebook Jail

Heavy Handed Advice

One of the hardest things about being someone who does direct sales is how to stay out of Facebook jail. What is Facebook Jail? It's when your facebook profile can't like, comment, post or go live on Facebook. A lot of times it happens suddenly and without warning, and Facebook never gives you a reason why. Sometimes they will let you know when your temporary Facebook ban is lifted, but most of the time you just sort of have to wait it out. The best thing for anyone who uses Facebook to run their business is to stay out of Facebook jail and here are some quick and easy tips to keep that Keep Reading >>>

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We Need To Take Better Care Of Our Fellow Moms

Heavy Handed Advice

We all know the things we say matter, but sometimes in the heat of it we say some things that are hard to take back. Today I was at the grocery store when I heard a fed-up mother yell at her kids to, "Shut the h*ll up." I get it. We've all been frustrated and just lost our cool. And I don't blame this mama for losing hers. The store was hot. Like, Texas in the middle of summer and not enough A/C hot. And she had three kids under ten and a completely full grocery cart. Plus, the kids were loud. They were going bananas and from the place mama was at in the store, I'm guessing she was only about Keep Reading >>>

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Know Those Gross Moms Who Suck The Pacifier Before Popping It Back In? Turns Out Their Kids Are Healthier!

Heavy Handed Advice

We've all seen her: the frazzled mom who has too much going on and is pushing a baby in a stroller and has no hands left for anything. Then, the baby spits out the pacifier. What does mom do? Picks it up, pops it into her own mouth, and gives it back to baby. So. Gross. What is wrong with that mom? Doesn't she know she's got a billion germs in her mouth and she just gave all billion of them to her precious little bundle of joy? Well, turns out that's not actually a bad thing. Yes she just stuck a germy pacifier in her little one's gob, but that little one's immune system is about to kick in Keep Reading >>>

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I Can Pull My Butt Up Like Panties, And Other Unexpected Joys Of Weight Loss Surgery

Heavy Handed Advice

I have always been curvy and well endowed gal: a habitual "yo-yo dieter''/fad dieter. I always felt bigger than I was when I was younger. Never a size 6, always around 10...and in school that was huge in my mind. I realize that I was usually the only one that it bothered. If I'd known then that one day I'd be able to pull my butt up like a pair of panties, I'd have probably tried to love myself more. I Can Pull My Butt Up Like Panties, And Other Unexpected Joys Of Weight Loss Surgery I didn't really begin to put some weight on until I was 17 and was put on birth control. This is what I Keep Reading >>>

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There Are Not Enough Hours In The Day For This Stay-At-Home Dad

Heavy Handed Advice

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, I’m probably not going to tell you anything new, but being a stay-at-home mom can suck. Don’t get wrong, tending to home and family is rewarding both emotionally and spiritually. Plus, you get to binge watch GLOW while you Pledge the china cabinet. But there is a lot more that goes on in a day than your working spouse even realizes. How do I know this? Because I used to be the working spouse, before I became the stay-at-home dad. There Are Not Enough Hours In The Day For This Stay-At-Home Dad When I came home from a long day at the office, I would find my Keep Reading >>>

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Breast Is Not Always Best, And We Need To Stop Telling Women That It Is!

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Breast is best. Almost from the moment you see those beautiful double lines, you start hearing that mantra. And you've seen research. Listened to friends. Had plenty of doctors tell you the same. Offices have lactation rooms. Breastfeeding is legal in literally every single public space in America. So why would so many people go through so much effort to educate you on the benefits of breastfeeding if it truly wasn't the best option? And what about formula? Is it even safe to give babies formula? Why would any good mom give her child chemicals when breast is best? Think baby Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things To Teach Children About Judging Books (And People) By Their Covers

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We've always been told to 'never judge a book by it's cover'. Covers can be elaborate, plain, some are so beautiful and some are completely unattractive to the readers eye. Some have very little color, but it's what's in the book that matters. Even the most attractive cover can be the worst read and the plainest of covers can be one of the most intense books you've ever picked up. Choosing to read a book based on it's cover or turning it away because of it, can cause you to miss out on something really wonderful, or you could wish you would have never read it at all because you based it on the Keep Reading >>>

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8 Things Only Moms With Anxiety Truly Understand

Heavy Handed Advice

It's like a daily issue where something, and I mean SOMETHING goes weird. Us moms just seem to have those moments where we can't find our keys just magically find them in the refrigerator or we can't remember if we turned off our curling iron before we left home. And those moments cause so much anxiety. It's hard enough being a mom, but when you put anxiety on top of that? Brutal. Here's a few more things that get my anxiety flared up, maybe you can relate! 8 Things Only Moms With Anxiety Truly Understand 1. The Faulty Alarm. Okay, so maybe it was human error but at any rate there Keep Reading >>>

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10 Ways To Avoid Being A Bull In A China Shop

Heavy Handed Advice

When I was 12, if anyone had called me "Grace", it would have been entirely ironic. I was as klutzy as a newborn giraffe and literally broke every single thing I touched. I never got better. Over the years, I have come to terms with my personal lack of coordination, but there are certain things I always have to avoid because otherwise things will be broken. Here are 10 ways to avoid being a bull in a China shop! 10 Ways To Avoid Being A Bull In A China Shop 1. Stay away from any type of glass, especially if it's not yours: My rule of thumb is to keep my hands to myself when it comes to Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things I Say To Myself All The Time (And What I’m Going To Start Saying Instead)

Heavy Handed Advice

I am the queen of negative self talk. I can find things about myself and talk myself into a feeling of self pity in less than two seconds. I could list a plethora of things I say to myself all the time, but I'm going to stick to five of the main ones. Here are 5 things I say to myself all the time (and what I'm going to start saying instead). 5 Things I Say To Myself All The Time (And What I'm Going To Start Saying Instead) 1. "Droopy Dog" - One of my many self negative talks involves my overly-exaggerated smile lines. They are there whether I'm smiling or not. I see myself as Droopy Dog Keep Reading >>>

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10 Chick Flicks To Watch When Your Uterus Is Being A Little Bitch

Heavy Handed Advice

Look, if you're female and have a uterus that still does it's monthly molting, you've been here. There's just nothing worse than being a tough-ass woman 90% of the time, and then having those one or two days a month where you're tearful for no flecking reason and then "IT" starts. Yeah. We've ALL been there. And sometimes when you're there, you just have to cry your way through it. It is what it is. So here are some chick flicks to watch on those days when your uterus is being a little bitch. 10 Chick Flicks To Watch When Your Uterus Is Being A Little Bitch 1. The Notebook: Get a Keep Reading >>>

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How To Check If Your Baby Is Breathing WITHOUT Waking Her Up

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Babies breathe weird. Sometimes it is literally impossible to tell if they’re breathing at all. I, like most moms, have experienced that momentary freak out in the middle of the night while my face is shoved straight into baby’s bassinet to find out if she’s alive. Sometimes, when she takes a nap during the day, I stare at her trying to figure out if she stopped crying because she fell asleep or if she somehow managed to kill herself with her pacifier. So here are a few simple steps to help parents check if their baby is breathing WITHOUT waking her up... How To Check If Your Keep Reading >>>

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Imperfectly Perfect: How To Let Go Of Your ‘Ideal Self’ And Be A Happier Person Today!

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My whole life I have tried to be the perfect person. In second grade, I was the math whiz who only missed one question the entire year. In fourth grade, I was hated by the teacher, because I was so far ahead of her class, she had to find random things for me to do. In fifth grade, I was one of two people in my grade to be bussed to a gifted program once a week. In ninth grade, I made the cheerleading team, although hardly anyone knew me. I was a cheerleader two more years. As a senior, I was one of the student council officers. Fast forward a few years. I graduated with a degree in English Keep Reading >>>

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My Teens Don’t Need A Helicopter Mom Anymore, And I Feel Like I’ve Been Retired

Heavy Handed Advice

How do you let go? How do you know when you're kids are ready for more responsibility and how do you become ok with it? Who really knew the ache and pride felt as your children grow. There is a part of me that feels so me embarrassment in admitting that I've been a helicopter mom; wanting to protect my kids from everything I can. I mean everything. Which is like every other mom, but maybe not to the level I have. But now my kids are older and don't need me to hover anymore. What's a helicopter mom supposed to do when she retires? My Teens Don't Need A Helicopter Mom Anymore, And I Feel Keep Reading >>>

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I’m A Grown-Up, But I Don’t Feel Like One

Heavy Handed Advice

When I was a kid, my dad scared me shitless. Grown-ups might as well have been gods for all the unquestionable authority they held. Parents, teachers, cops, pastors, random strangers at the grocery store who felt it was okay to pat me on the head because I was so damn cute. Grown-ups looked like grown-ups. They dressed differently from kids. They talked differently. They held jobs and bought stuff and got to watch “R” rated movies. I couldn’t wait to be an adult and inherit their unlimited power. But here I am, 37 years old, and I’m still that scared kid. I'm a grown-up, but I don't feel Keep Reading >>>

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Stepchildren Are The Children Of Your Heart…

Heavy Handed Advice

If you are a stepparent then you can completely understand what I mean when I say that being a stepparent isn't something everyone can accomplish successfully. To be honest, I am not sure if I can even say that I am a successful stepmom, especially when I feel like I can always be better. In the last seven years, I have grown to love my stepdaughters just as much as I love my husband and that part was a breeze for me. They are wonderful girls, each their own person, and from the first moment I met them I liked them. At this point it's been seven years, and I can safely say that my Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things You’ll Hear If You’ve Got 5 Kids!

Heavy Handed Advice

This is always a funny topic to me to hop on. It always seems to shock people when I tell them that I am a mom of 5 and only 36 and my oldest is 17. I am told quite often that I don't look old enough to have that many kids... or that they think I'm some sort of super woman, having everything organized and put together ... UMMMM... Nope, not close. I tell them theres a lot of "winging it" and "going with the flow', also make up is an amazing thing! FOR REAL!!!! lol So here are 5 things I wish people would stop saying when they find out I have 5 kids. 5 Things I Wish People Would Stop Keep Reading >>>

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No, You Aren’t Perfect…But Should You Settle?

Heavy Handed Advice

To start with, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Some people are into coffee. That's fine. I'm a late 30's divorced woman who can't have kids, has way too many animals, hates cleaning house, and is swimming in debt. Oh, and did I mention I'm a bbw? I get how not every guy is into me. I'm cool with that. Cooool. But apparently because I'm not perfect, my standards are too high. At least, according to some people. So let me just tell y'all about some of the 'gems' I turned down last year... Apparently My Dating Standards Are Too High... The Mama's Boy - This guy was nice. He'd had the Keep Reading >>>

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