Things Kids Do That Drive Everyone Crazy Archives • Totally The Bomb.com

I Never Expected Being A Stay-At-Home-Parent Would Be So Lonely…

Heavy Handed Advice

Over the last few weeks I’ve become a mostly stay-at-home-dad. I’ve been working two, maybe three days a week while my wife is crushing it in her new, fancy accounting job. When my better half and I switched roles, I knew I’d keep busy. I’ve got rooms to clean, and endless stream of laundry to wash, meals to prepare, a house to maintain, but I didn’t know that I’d spend most of my time wrestling with soul-crushing loneliness. I Never Expected Being A Stay-At-Home-Parent Would Be So Lonely... If you know me, that might sound weird. I don’t like people. I don’t understand most of them. I Keep Reading >>>

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I Have A Cold And Why You Don’t Care

Heavy Handed Advice

Excuse me a second while I take some medicine and blow my nose. I don’t know where you live, but it’s cold season here. It’s that season where you pile on some warm, comfy pajamas and curl up on the couch. Season 3 of Gilmore Girls isn’t going to watch itself. Maybe take an hour-long bath, and the only reason the bath is an hour instead of, say, five hours, is because at some point water cools and the laws of nature are against you. Maybe your better half takes little Rudiger Jr. to soccer practice. And you know the potential for ice cream is always in play because you’ve got a tickle in your Keep Reading >>>

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How To Know If You’re Doing An ‘Okay’ Job As A Parent

Heavy Handed Advice

Tonight my daughter told me she hated me. She screamed it, in fact, before flipping her hair and marching upstairs to her bedroom. The door slammed and while part of me wanted to run after her and talk to her, I knew the best thing would be to give her time to cool down. My daughter is twelve. She came to me this afternoon and asked if she could go to the mall with her new friend (just moved in down the street), and I told her no. See, I don't know her new friend's parents. We've met in passing, but never really talked. And while I realize twelve is almost old enough to hang out at the Keep Reading >>>

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3 Creepy Things My Kids Have Done That Are NOT Okay!

Heavy Handed Advice

Raising a child is a darn frightening experience. Moms, have you even seen what those things look like coming out? Of course you haven’t. You’re up there enjoying your drugs and…I don’t know…iced coffee? I might be misremembering my children’s birth. I was really lightheaded during the first go-around. I don’t remember much but I do remember that on the business end of baby-having everything is gross and terrifying. But guess what, parents? It doesn’t end there. Nope. When you bring that baby into your house you’re bringing a whole world of weird in with it. Now, my wife and I have seen Keep Reading >>>

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We Need To Take Better Care Of Our Fellow Moms

Heavy Handed Advice

We all know the things we say matter, but sometimes in the heat of it we say some things that are hard to take back. Today I was at the grocery store when I heard a fed-up mother yell at her kids to, "Shut the h*ll up." I get it. We've all been frustrated and just lost our cool. And I don't blame this mama for losing hers. The store was hot. Like, Texas in the middle of summer and not enough A/C hot. And she had three kids under ten and a completely full grocery cart. Plus, the kids were loud. They were going bananas and from the place mama was at in the store, I'm guessing she was only about Keep Reading >>>

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I Don’t Always Know What My Kid Is Talking About, But I Will Always Listen

Heavy Handed Advice

I remember long drives as a child that I would spend talking at my mother. Telling her stories. Jabbering away. Reading to her. I ran my mouth a lot. Now I've got my own (step) child and... Mom, if you read this, I'm so sorry. You were a great mom and now that I have a kid of my own I'm realizing that more than ever. I know you didn't always care about or even understand what I was talking about, but you always made me feel like you did. And because of you, I'm doing the same with mine. I don't always know what he's talking about, but just like you, I will always listen. I Don't Always Keep Reading >>>

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9 Boredom Busters To Keep Kids Busy, And Keep Mommy Sane

Heavy Handed Advice

The kids are home and I'm about to lose it. Don't get me wrong, I love my little hyperactive, feral children, but I'm about to lose my mind. If my son asks for ONE MORE extra meal, or my daughter proclaims AGAIN in that piercing, whiny voice, “I'm bored,” I'm going to lose a little more than just my mind! They are going stir-crazy, and making me bananas. Here are 9 boredom busters to keep kids busy, and keep mommy sane. Hopefully the kids will get so engrossed in these activities, they will calm it for half a minute so I don't lose it. Hopefully you will find some use in them, too! 9 Keep Reading >>>

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Texas Teen Died While Using Cell Phone In The Bathtub, Family Hopes Their Tragedy May Help Others

Heavy Handed Advice

Sometimes it seems like teenagers are physically attached to their cell phones, but for one family that attachment came at a tragic cost. Madison Coe, 14, of Lubbock, Texas, died Sunday morning while either plugging in her cell phone while taking a bath, or using her plugged-in cell phone in the bathtub. Her heartbroken family is hopeful her death will serve as a reminder to other parents to teach their children about cell phone safety and the importance of keeping electronic devices away from water. Texas Teen Died While Using Cell Phone In The Bathtub, Family Hopes Their Tragedy May Keep Reading >>>

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Stay-At-Home Mom’s Viral Post About Summer With Kids Is Painfully Relatable

Heavy Handed Parenting Advice

It's July and by this point you've crafted, painted, planted, and probably taken the kids to at least a couple of snow cone stands. And it's hot. So hot. So you're a mom, staying home with the kids, in the heat, and because they're bored they basically fight every single waking moment. That's exactly what mom Karen Johnson went through when she describes what happened with her kids on her Facebook page, The 21st Century SAHM. "So. How's everyone's summer going?" she starts out. "Here's an excerpt from mine so far, one that accurately depicts our day to day sh*t-show." Stay-At-Home Mom's Keep Reading >>>

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How To Check If Your Baby Is Breathing WITHOUT Waking Her Up

Heavy Handed Advice

Babies breathe weird. Sometimes it is literally impossible to tell if they’re breathing at all. I, like most moms, have experienced that momentary freak out in the middle of the night while my face is shoved straight into baby’s bassinet to find out if she’s alive. Sometimes, when she takes a nap during the day, I stare at her trying to figure out if she stopped crying because she fell asleep or if she somehow managed to kill herself with her pacifier. So here are a few simple steps to help parents check if their baby is breathing WITHOUT waking her up... How To Check If Your Keep Reading >>>

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What To Tell Your Kids About The Suicide Texting Guilty Verdict

Heavy Handed Advice

Words matter. That's the big takeaway from the Michelle Carter conviction. While we parents were busy worrying about whether our children should watch 13 REASONS WHY, a series based off of a popular young adult book written by Jay Asher, the real life case of a young woman who convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide over text was taking place. With the guilty verdict that was handed down on June 16, a precedent was set on whether you can be held accountable for someone else's suicide. And that's really important for your kids to understand. Here's what you need to tell your kids about the Keep Reading >>>

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Stepchildren Are The Children Of Your Heart…

Heavy Handed Advice

If you are a stepparent then you can completely understand what I mean when I say that being a stepparent isn't something everyone can accomplish successfully. To be honest, I am not sure if I can even say that I am a successful stepmom, especially when I feel like I can always be better. In the last seven years, I have grown to love my stepdaughters just as much as I love my husband and that part was a breeze for me. They are wonderful girls, each their own person, and from the first moment I met them I liked them. At this point it's been seven years, and I can safely say that my Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things You’ll Hear If You’ve Got 5 Kids!

Heavy Handed Advice

This is always a funny topic to me to hop on. It always seems to shock people when I tell them that I am a mom of 5 and only 36 and my oldest is 17. I am told quite often that I don't look old enough to have that many kids... or that they think I'm some sort of super woman, having everything organized and put together ... UMMMM... Nope, not close. I tell them theres a lot of "winging it" and "going with the flow', also make up is an amazing thing! FOR REAL!!!! lol So here are 5 things I wish people would stop saying when they find out I have 5 kids. 5 Things I Wish People Would Stop Keep Reading >>>

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10 Things To Do With Fidget Spinners After Your Kids Are Done With Them

Heavy Handed Advice

Fidget spinners are awesome. But, let's face it: pretty soon your kids are going to be tired of them and you'll be stepping on them in the dark just like you do all their other discarded toys. It happens. Kids have an attention span equal to a gnat on speed and while fidget spinners might be fun now, we all know the next big thing is just around the corner. That's okay, though. Unlike those Pokémon GO t-shirts, and Hatchimals that are stuffed in the closet somewhere, there are actually some legit things you can do with fidget spinners once the kids lose interest. In fact, here are 10 things Keep Reading >>>

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Ten Father’s Day Ideas That Won’t Break The Piggy Bank!

Heavy Handed Advice

I'm at a slight monetary disadvantage this year for the festivities normally heaped on daddies for this day of honor. I have to dust off my powers of creativity, and get down and dirty with inexpensive ideas for my father and my husband. Forget the cliche tie that's going to be thrown in a drawer and forgotten. I want to do something meaningful this year, something they'll look back on with fondness. Most importantly, it can't break the bank, the piggie bank that is, because that's all we can afford right now. Now, after sitting and pondering on my Father's Day dilemma, I've churned out ten Keep Reading >>>

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Their Chores Only Take 20 Minutes, So Why Do They Whine About Them All Day Instead?

Heavy Handed Advice

Does anybody want a five year old? You can't have my daughter, but I'm considering selling my son (joking, of course). My daily fights with him are about to do me in. Let's talk chores for a minute. My kids don't have that many. They might have three chores that don't involve making their beds, picking up their dirty clothes, or taking a bath. The latter are just normal, expected things that all normal, civilized humans do. They are old enough, however, for a few extra chores. And, quite frankly, I need the help around the house. But you know what? As little as I give them to do, they spend Keep Reading >>>

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It F*cking Sucks When You’re Sick And Your Child Is Sick At The Same Time

Heavy Handed Advice

I'm in my bed, in the middle of the afternoon, with my covers pulled over my head. My body is chilled from the inside out, and I can't stop coughing that barky, rough cough that just sounds painful. It feels like somebody is running a feather duster up and down my raw throat, choking me and tickling my throat simultaneously. I'm wallowing in sickness induced self pity, when there is a knock-knock-knock on the backdoor. You have GOT to be joking, I think to myself. Maybe if I lay here, pretending I didn't hear it, they'll go away. No such luck. Knock-knock-knock, I hear again at the back Keep Reading >>>

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5 Ways Clutter Will Take Over Your Life!

Heavy Handed Advice

I am laying in my nice, cozy bed. My blankets are pulled up and over my ears like I prefer, and the house is quiet with sleep. Unfortunately, I drank about a gallon of iced tea before bed, so my bladder is calling in the most urgent way. I sit up, sleep still rolling off my body, ease the blankets off my cozy, warm legs, and prepare to make the dreaded midnight-walk to the bathroom. I turn my legs to dangle off the bed before I get up, unsteady from slumber. It's then I see it: there is so much clutter between me and the door, it's going to be hard to walk through it without tripping. Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things I Wish My Family Understood About Mother’s Day

Heavy Handed Advice

It's so easy to just go through the routine. “Great, Mother’s Day is today,” my husband thinks. “Better stop by Walgreens and pick up something quick and easy.” He rushes in and out, hardly even noticing what he has grabbed. It was in the appropriate aisle, so it will do. The kids begrudgingly get out their construction paper and markers to hand make a card. They are forced, by Daddy, to stop watching their TV program and scribble something on paper. Afterall, it's what's expected. They grumble the entire time, not really caring that this day is to celebrate mommy. They just know they have to Keep Reading >>>

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Seriously, Where The Fork Are All My Spoons?

Heavy Handed Advice

It's 2am. The entire house is asleep. The kids are tucked in their beds, Mom and Dad are snoring away in peaceful slumber, even the dog has made a cozy nest and is fast asleep. Night has fallen like a cozy blanket over the house, and the only sound is the air conditioner kicking on and the ice maker depositing half moons of ice in the waiting tray. Unbeknownst to the sleeping family, a masked intruder is lurking on the back porch. He quietly tries the kitchen window. Locked tight. He tiptoes over to the back door, and tries the doorknob. Denied again. That's okay, he knows what he's doing. Keep Reading >>>

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Fidget Spinners Are Ruining America!

Heavy Handed Advice

I went to the grocery store today and it didn't matter which aisle I went down, I heard this low humming sound. At first I thought it was my cell phone. Nope, that was still at home on the kitchen counter along with my grocery list. Then, I looked for something in the shelves. Nope. Was it the AC Units? I looked everywhere before I realized it was the kids. Every single child in that grocery store had a fidget spinner in hand and were busily whirring it around and around like so many tiny little ninja throwing stars. Or fans. Except they didn't put out any cool air. They were just these Keep Reading >>>

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10 Things I Actually Want For Mother’s Day

Heavy Handed Advice

Mother's Day. Just saying the words invoke images of gifts made of crepe paper, frumpy bathrobes, stand mixers, flowery stationary, or maybe a box of chocolates, or grocery-store flowers. Not that I'm not appreciative. These are all great gifts, but let's get real for a minute. There are some, shall we say, less traditional gifts I want this year. Just hear me out for a minute. Here are 10 things I actually want for Mother's Day. 10 Things I Actually Want For Mother's Day In no particular order, I give you the top 10 things I actually want for Mother's Day this year: 1. 10 Keep Reading >>>

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My Little Pony: They’re Not Just For Kids Anymore!

Heavy Handed Advice

My 16 year old daughter is obsessed with My Little Pony. The thing is, I actually enjoy it myself, because let's face it: "Friendship is magic." I feel like I know far more about My Little Pony now than I did when I was a kid. She's taught me the different generations of ponies, like in the 80's they were the gen 1 and now like 35+ years later they are the gen 4. A lot has changed when I watched them...cutting edge compared to gen 1. So yeah, My Little Pony is still a thing, and apparently it's a really big thing. My Little Pony: They're Not Just For Kids Anymore! I've come to realize, Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things To Pack If You’re Taking A Toddler On A Road Trip

Heavy Handed Advice

Who doesn't love a good road trip?! In a car, with the windows down, hair blowing in the wind, music blaring, and the pristine country hurtling by at top speeds. Your friend, or maybe your significant other is driving, and you are in the passenger seat, head thumping to the music, LuLaRoe on your legs, and bare feet on the dashboard. Max, the dog is smiling and panting, in the back seat, loving life. Keeping Max company in the backseat is a toddler in a car seat. Wait, what? What is a toddler doing on a road trip? Won't they cry and zap the fun out of this trip of pure nirvana? No, is Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things That Are Killing My Kids

Heavy Handed Advice

I had this grand dream when my kids were toddlers. We were going to be so happy. They would start school, and things would run as smooth as clockwork. The kids were going to have chores, and appreciate pitching in to help the family. We were going to have delicious family meals every night, where everyone would praise my cooking and want seconds, thirds, even fourths. There would be a set schedule. The kids would know this schedule, appreciate this schedule, we would stick to it, and life would be all rainbows, giggles, and unicorns. After all, I watch television, this is what Keep Reading >>>

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The Joys Of Teaching My Autistic Son To Cook

We all have that friend who can’t cook even a simple meal. None of us are perfect, we all fall short. Heck, I don’t know how to ride a bike. But guess what? I don’t need to know how to ride a bike because I have a car. But if you’re on a camping trip and suddenly realize you have no idea how to start a fire: A) if you’re a woman, you’re in trouble: B) if you’re a guy, you look like an idiot AND you’re in trouble. As a father, I’ve been blessed with the ability to pass my knowledge on to my children. However, a kid can only learn so much about 80’s new wave bands and old horror movies before Keep Reading >>>

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When Did Prom Get So Damn Elaborate!?

Because, YouTube...

My prom invitations might have been chiseled on stone tablets, we may have had dinosaurs in attendance, and it may have been in a dark, dank cave, but I remember what a big deal prom was. I get it. Prom is a rite of passage for most high-school students. I have one little question, however. When did prom get so fricken elaborate, and what's the deal with 'promposals'?!? When Did Prom Get So Damn Elaborate!? Promposal? What the heck is that, even? Why is this a thing? Why can't things just be simple and straightforward anymore? In my day a guy would say, "Hey, do you want to go to Keep Reading >>>

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5 Things Moms Of Strong-Willed Children Know To Be True

Heavy Handed Advice

You bring home this perfect, tiny, wrinkly human from the hospital, and you expect life to be easy. I mean, you know there will be sleepless nights, dirty bottles galore, and diapers that smell of toxic waste, but you've read all the books. You know how to raise this child. You got this! You've memorized all the disciplining tactics, you know how to squash the tantrums, and you understand that it's important for children to try different foods so their palates will be diverse. You are going to rock this parenting thing! But people don't always warn you about the strong-willed ones. And there Keep Reading >>>

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Boys Are Made Of Snakes, Snails, Puppy Dog Tails, And Funk

Heavy Handed Advice

I walk into the house, and my nostrils are immediately assaulted with the pungent combination of cheese, death, wet dog, and month-old expired milk. If this were a movie, my hair would be blown backwards with the stench coming at me like a wave on the wind. What is that?!? The most horrible thing any mom of boys has to eventually embrace is that boys are made of snakes, snails, puppy dog tails, and a WHOLE LOTTA FUNK. Boys Are Made Of Snakes, Snails, Puppy Dog Tails, And Funk I look around the front room, and nothing looks unusual. There is no trash can overflowing in the corner. The Keep Reading >>>

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My Daughter Is A Creeper, And Sometimes I Sleep With One Eye Open…

Heavy Handed Advice

She stood in the doorway, backlit by the glow of the light coming from the hall. Quiet and lurking, she stood there like she was waiting, waiting for some unforeseen opportunity. It was the perfect setup for a scene ripped from the screen of a psychotic thriller. She wore a long white gown that hung loose from her frame. Her stick like arms hung from the sleeves of her long gown, down at her sides, like dead weights. Her dark, long, scraggly hair hung down over her eyes and shoulders. Her thin legs peered out the bottom of the gown, naked and slightly out of focus in the dark room. Guys, my Keep Reading >>>

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My Parents Were Right, But I’m Taking That To My Grave

Heavy Handed Advice

My daughter is nine. When I say she’s nine, I mean she thinks she’s 25. She is one of the most stubborn people I have ever come across. She gets these ideas in her head, and there is no deterring her. She thinks she is in control of every aspect of her life, and it’s about to drive me insane. I hate to admit it, but, my parents were right. Parenting is HARD! Also, I'm never going to tell them... My Parents Were Right, But I'm Taking That To My Grave On one hand, I don’t want to squash the insane drive she has. I want her to be an adult who isn’t afraid to have her opinions heard, and I Keep Reading >>>

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How To Murder Your Teenager, And Where To Hide The Body

Heavy Handed Advice

Teenagers are awful. The are as close to nature flipping parents the finger as you can get. And yeah, we've all got those friends who are all, "My kids aren't like that. My kids are amazing. Maybe if you'd parented differently your kids could be angels, too." Yeah, trust me: their little Dylan and Petal are nightmares when mom and dad aren't around. Like it or not, all teenagers suck. That's why every parent needs a handy dandy guide explaining how exactly to murder their offspring, and where exactly to hide the body. Unfortunately, murder is still considered illegal in most states, and no one Keep Reading >>>

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