It seems like yesterday my daughter was three years old. She turned 14 back in June, and I have to be honest… I have no idea if I am raising her the right way.
My whole goal in life is to raise her to be a good, kind person. To help those in need, and to be there for those who need it. But, at the same time I want her to be strong, independent, and kind of a badass.
Are those the same people? Can you raise a daughter to be a kind and strong? When I talk to other people they don’t seem to think so. They tell me that it’s important she know how to stand up for herself.
It seems like we are raising an entire generation of girls to not get walked all over, and we aren’t looking at how important it is to teach them how to not walk all over others.
Forever girls have been taught that we were the weaker sex. That we should let a man open a jar of pickles for us even if we can do it just to make him feel a strong.
Then there was this shift. That we should ALWAYS try to do everything on our own, and it was a sign of weakness to ask for help.
There has to be a middle ground in there. Somewhere in between damsel and distress and I don’t need a man.
I want my daughter to know her own worth. I want her to open that damn jar of pickles if she can. But if she can’t, I also want her to know it’s okay to ask a friend or significant other to help her out.
We’ve spent a lot of time teaching girls to lean in. To be stronger and tougher in business, and to rock that whole #bossbabe thing, but we also need to teach them that they can rise to the top without trampling everyone else.
The thing is, it’s not easier to get to the top by bringing others down. I don’t understand where that came in to the equation. I don’t understand why we’ve ever thought that.
It’s SO much easier to become awesome when you have a good support system and some help to back you up. And there is NOTHING WRONG with taking a little help
You aren’t weak if you get help to open the jar of pickles because you can’t. You are SMART. This is what I want our daughters to understand. They don’t have to build the world from the ground up all by themselves.
They have each other.
They have us.