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Y’all Need To Calm The Heck Down About the Holidays

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s day, and my Facebook feed was filled with leprechaun traps, leprechaun footprints and pots ‘o gold at the end of the rainbow.

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?: Beth A

What? Are you kidding me? This is a holiday about green beer and shakin’ your shamrocks. Who the heck decided to turn this into another Pinterest holiday?

I mean, look there’s already Elf on The Shelf tormenting parents for an ENTIRE MONTH of having to try and remember to move the damn thing while they are already dealing with all the stresses of the holidays, and now somebody has gone and made PEEP ON A PERCH. (That’s an affiliate link to Amazon, by the way, because if you just have to buy the damn thing, I at least want to make a little money off of it.)

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Now a PEEP is hanging out… to what? Remind our kids that if they aren’t good the easter bunny won’t come?

A PEEP IS CANDY. It has ZERO to do with Easter. And let’s get real, beyond microwaving them to blow them up, they are pretty much worthless.

You can not be serious. Not every holiday has to be a magical experience to make memories with your kids.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvH_AeAHGXA/

You want to celebrate St. Patrick’s day? Go pinch your kid while they’re still in their jammies and tell them they better wear green to bed next year. Don’t set up an elaborate trap to trick a leprechaun into leaving his pot of toys and gold that doesn’t even exist.

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STAHP.

This “leprechaun” just straight up destroyed this classroom. Y’all this isn’t funny, it’s borderline creepy.

I sure hope this leprechaun can read…

We’ve already taken Valentine’s day WAY TOO far. It used to be you’d buy a box of Valentine’s and write a note to all your friends, and now you have to make homemade slime with a cute printable valentine card?

What happens if we just say no to all this nonsense? Will our kids now be the only kid in the class that didn’t catch a leprechaun last night? Will they get laughed out of the VDay party for having store bought cards?

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Make: A Santa Clause Veggie Tray

Are we setting them up for failure and more disappointment when they realize that not only is Santa not real, but we’ve also been making up all these other mythical creatures, too?

And, how do we stop it? Did you know you can now go to the mall and sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap. That’s a REAL THING. I barely had time to make a Santa visit happen, because I have commitments and a life and stuff. The bunny gets ONE MORNING of my time.

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That’s it. He doesn’t get a whole month to hang out, he doesn’t see us when we’re sleeping.

So, let’s take back the holidays, shall we? Green on St. Patrick’s day, one easter basket on Easter, and for the love of all that is fireworks, let’s keep the fourth celebrations to a 24 hour period.

I don’t think my dog can handle any more than that.

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