Kids

The kids are home and I’m about to lose it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little hyperactive, feral children, but I’m about to lose my mind. If my son asks for ONE MORE extra meal, or my daughter proclaims AGAIN in that piercing, whiny voice, “I’m bored,” I’m going to lose a little …

I wake up to my alarm going off. After a night of getting up to go pee THREE TIMES in between fits of dreams and semi-sleep, it’s time to start my day. I stretch in my bed, and notice the first twinges of pain in my back. Reluctantly I stand up to start my day. …

It’s inevitable. It’s going to happen no matter how hard you want to fight it. Eventually your child will be old enough for kindergarten, and you’ll have to trust leaving them in the hands of strangers up to 8 hours a day. You can prepare yourself and your child, but truth is, when the big …

Easter Egg Hunts are so fun. I remember when my daughter was really little and she would get maybe one or two eggs before all the big kids snatched them up. Now she’s a pro, and brings home piles and piles of them. The problem is, they are filled with candy! So, skip the candy …

Every good king or queen needs a crown, but why limit yourself to simply being a king or queen when you could also be a mermaid? I mean, why should you have to choose when you could just be both? Ariel’s not a Disney Princess for nothing…in fact, I bet she’s probably got her own Magical Mermaid …

What kid doesn’t want to be a mermaid just like Ariel? Swimming around without a care in the world, accidentally starring in a musical…the possibilities are as endless as the ocean. But there’s just one problem: Ariel might be a big shot under the sea, but in our world, it’s the wand that makes the …

It can be really hard to make the most of your summer when it’s super hot outside and no one feels like leaving the comfort of the A/C. Let’s face it, we’re all pretty lazy, which is a shame because having the kids home from school all summer is the perfect time to introduce them …

Whether you have toddlers or teens, these 25 Totally Adorable Easter Crafts will provide hours of crafting awesomeness. Chances are as they grow up they won’t remember what you made, but they’ll always remember the time you spent crafting together. My mom was a Pinterest mom before Pinterest existed. Every Easter we’d dig into the …

My daughter hasn’t watched regular television in over six months. It’s all YouTube all the time, and anyone who’s fallen down that rabbit hole knows that it’s hard to find Kid Safe YouTube channels. Or at least it was, I’ve compiled some of the best kid-friendly YouTube channels out there for you below!   Bonus: …

Halloween is the big kick-off bash for the ‘Holiday Season’ and boy is it a bash! Between the candy, and parties, costumes, and themes, Halloween has a way of getting under even the most humbuggy of humbug’s skin. But if you’re not quite there yet, there are some really fun movies that will get you …

Am I the only one who has noticed the end of Halloween? When I was a kid, we’d all go out into the neighborhood, ON Halloween night, dressed in our hobo Indian princess pirate get-ups, knocking door to door and hoping we didn’t get kidnapped. Our food was either x-rayed by the local hospital (for …

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had sensitive teeth. I’m that picky person who orders all her drinks with no ice, and drinks all of her hot coffee lukewarm. In short, it blows. Now there are special toothpastes that make things way less painful for everyone, and to help get kids psyched I’ve made …

With all the hubbub about the solar eclipse, your kids have probably asked you a billion questions already. But if they never saw one before, they might not have known every question to ask, and there are some that are probably going to come up now that might not have before! So here are 10 …

An unnamed Texas woman is being criticized for feeding her daughter a shocking amount of bread each month – over 100 slices. She defends this strange diet saying, “My daughter is growing like a weed and her doctor thinks she’s healthy, so what’s wrong with that?” Before she started this diet, the woman says her …

We’ve all seen her: the frazzled mom who has too much going on and is pushing a baby in a stroller and has no hands left for anything. Then, the baby spits out the pacifier. What does mom do? Picks it up, pops it into her own mouth, and gives it back to baby. So. …

As a parent, I get unsolicited advice all the time. My favorite advice comes from those who don’t even have children. They are usually very smug, and all-knowing about all things related to children. Here are a few of the best-of-the-best pieces of advice non-parents dish up, and what I WISH I could say to …

It’s July and by this point you’ve crafted, painted, planted, and probably taken the kids to at least a couple of snow cone stands. And it’s hot. So hot. So you’re a mom, staying home with the kids, in the heat, and because they’re bored they basically fight every single waking moment. That’s exactly what …

How do you let go? How do you know when you’re kids are ready for more responsibility and how do you become ok with it? Who really knew the ache and pride felt as your children grow. There is a part of me that feels so me embarrassment in admitting that I’ve been a helicopter …

This is always a funny topic to me to hop on. It always seems to shock people when I tell them that I am a mom of 5 and only 36 and my oldest is 17. I am told quite often that I don’t look old enough to have that many kids… or that they …

Fidget spinners are awesome. But, let’s face it: pretty soon your kids are going to be tired of them and you’ll be stepping on them in the dark just like you do all their other discarded toys. It happens. Kids have an attention span equal to a gnat on speed and while fidget spinners might …

aka That Time Everyone Without Little Kids Pissed Off Everyone With Little Kids When a child, being a child and therefore prone to stupidity, got himself into an endangered gorilla’s enclosure last year, the zoo sacrificed the gorilla’s life to extract the boy.  The Internet went on a campaign of blame and outrage, some even sending …

To start with, this post is probably going to make me look horrible. I swear I’m not. I love my kids. I love my husband. I love love love my family with all of my life and every fiber of my being. But…sometimes it’s a bit much. I mean, the whole family and life and …

I went to the grocery store today and it didn’t matter which aisle I went down, I heard this low humming sound. At first I thought it was my cell phone. Nope, that was still at home on the kitchen counter along with my grocery list. Then, I looked for something in the shelves. Nope. …

I had this grand dream when my kids were toddlers. We were going to be so happy. They would start school, and things would run as smooth as clockwork. The kids were going to have chores, and appreciate pitching in to help the family. We were going to have delicious family meals every night, where …

She stood in the doorway, backlit by the glow of the light coming from the hall. Quiet and lurking, she stood there like she was waiting, waiting for some unforeseen opportunity. It was the perfect setup for a scene ripped from the screen of a psychotic thriller. She wore a long white gown that hung …

Teenagers are awful. The are as close to nature flipping parents the finger as you can get. And yeah, we’ve all got those friends who are all, “My kids aren’t like that. My kids are amazing. Maybe if you’d parented differently your kids could be angels, too.” Yeah, trust me: their little Dylan and Petal …

I’m out to dinner with my husband when the screeching starts. I roll my eyes, looking at the child standing backwards in the booth in front of me. She starts to bounce up and down on the pleather seat, as she continues to screech and laugh. Her mother tries to get her to turn around …

People in your life look at you and wonder why you aren’t tangled up in the all-American pursuit of that picket fence family. I look at you, and I just don’t freaking care. I understand the pressure. You have family members asking when you’re going to get married and have babies. You have friends who …

Why did I have children? Yes, they are lovely. They bring joy to our lives, and it’s a privilege watching them blossom into adulthood. I got to be there when they started to crawl, learned to walk, said their first words, and got all teary-eyed as I ushered them off to kindergarten. I smiled outwardly …

You can’t step outside without cringing at the desperate weeping in the streets. I look around and all I see are a bunch of children who can’t believe they’ve lost. They can’t believe the rules were not in their favor. How dare someone beat them at their own game! These kids haven’t learned to be …

Kids go through so many changes growing up, and that can be confusing. These 20 Butterfly Learning Activities will help kids understand that not only are changes a part of nature, but they can be beautiful! 20 Butterfly Learning Activities: 1. This Butterfly Alphabet Garden from No Time for Flash Cards will teach kids the …

I was young when my doctor told me I wouldn’t be able to conceive without help—medical help, I mean, not the usual two-to-tango type. It sucked, but infertility runs in my family and having drawn the short straw in my generation, at least I found out early. I had plenty of time to think about …

Well, the election is finally over and while America is still snuffing out the flames from the riotous dumpster fires in our major U.S. cities, maybe we can finally get back to that nagging list of blocking friends and loved ones who voted differently than us. There’s been a lot of judgment slung back and …

Yet another year has zipped on by, leaving us all in much the same position we were 365 days ago:  wondering if it’s technically a “regift” if you only touched the packaging twice, hovering over our bank balance like a hawk, and dreading the inevitable racist comments from Grandma.  But we tolerate it, because the …

I don’t want children, and that’s okay. I’m 26 years old, and I’ve been thinking about this for nearly a decade. There’s just one problem with being 26, single, and choosing not to have children. Dating. I don’t want children, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be in love. So, I’ve made up …

By the time my boyfriend told me on our fourth or fifth date that he had a son I was far too hooked on this guy with a cute smile, lip ring and a quirky sense of humor. Needless to say, after having a long talk on our first real date that neither of us …

Halloween is almost here. Kids are anticipating the coming sugar binge. Devil worshiping teenagers are stocking up on black cats. The inflatable décor industry, or Big Tacky, is getting a huge economic boost. Scary movies are on TV. And Christians have something else for a month to complain about. You may ask, “But Nik, you …

Halloween is my jam. My favorite childhood TV shows had me convinced that I needed to live in the Addams family’s house and have Beetlejuice as a best friend. Unfortunately I grew up in a house that was not Halloween friendly. The front door was on the side, down a winding path and through a …

I was wholly unprepared to be a step-mom. Completely and totally. I don’t think there’s a word that fully encompasses just how out of my depth I was. In the last few years I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve also learned a lot of lessons. For one, thanks to Disney step moms get …

Look, I know most people won’t ever need IVF. I certainly thought I wouldn’t. If there is one thing that human beings are really good at it’s making more of ourselves. But since starting IVF, I have made some observations that I really wish someone had let me in on ahead of time. So I’ve …

I hate driving with a passion. I mean, I love the act of driving, but only if I’m so far out in the middle of nowhere that all of the idiot drivers have been replaced by inbred, human-flesh-hungry nuclear mutant people. Because honestly? Sometimes I would genuinely prefer to be murdered and eaten by deformed, …

When did summer stop being a break where students and moms could take a breather from rigid schedules? Was it when the kids hit middle school age, with fall sports tryouts on the horizon? When they spent months figuring out which to go out for during the next school year and which to finally let go …

If you live in the United States, there’s a good chance your kids are either back in school already, or going back very soon. Great news for kids who have been missing their friends, or parents who need a break from a constant barrage of “I’m Bored!” coming from their children’s mouths. But, with school …

I had a request from a reader to illustrate the proper way parents should pick their children up from school. My daughter is still in preschool, and I don’t have to brave the public school car lines yet, BUT I did spend several years as a kindergarten teacher, and let me tell you–people seriously don’t …

I have two rambunctious boys. They’re three and one and full of love and kisses and Iron Man. The three-year-old, at least. He’s convinced he’s Iron Man. That is my fault. One day while I was doing dishes, I put on the Iron Man cartoon for him and that was that. Ever since then he’s …

Ladies, you know I’ve raked our men-folk over the coals in a blog or two. I guess you all liked that because it gets shared a bazillion times. Right now a wife in China is reading my posts and thinking…well, I don’t know what she’s thinking because I don’t speak Mandarin. But you’re not perfect, …

When my husband and I embarked on our IVF odyssey, I thought I was ready for the emotional roller coaster I was about to strap myself into. Ha. Ha hahahahahaHAHAHA. Ha. That’s like saying “Well, I’ve been on a trampoline so surely I can base jump.” 6 Things I THOUGHT I Knew About IVF 1. …

There are a million hurdles to jump through when you’re the kind of girl who doesn’t want to raise children. Why does falling in love have to be one of them? I guess that’s just the kind of thing we have to understand, the struggle we have to live with. I’m one of those girls, …

Anybody remember the rotary phone? How about the ‘harvest gold’ coloured appliances you grew up with in your home? Or the ‘Light Bright’ or that hideously creepy Hugo doll? If any of these stir up memories, you were likely a child of the seventies and the early eighties. Ever wonder how your Mom managed without …

Like a lot of families, my dad was the “bread-winner”. He worked days, nights, weekends, holidays. The guy nearly killed himself because of all the stress he was under. Literally. When I was seven, my dad tried to shoot himself in the living room of our small rent house. Oh, those carefree summer days of …

I got my period the day my mom died. It wasn’t my first period or anything. I was 29 at the time. But the painful coincidence didn’t go unnoticed. Nor did the parallel that exactly nine months had passed between Mom’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and the day of her death. My mom had been …

It’s summer and with kids out of school my niece has come to stay with me for a bit. While I couldn’t be more excited, this time together has been a complete crash course in all things teenager. I get that I’m not a full-time parent, but there are still some pretty huge things that …

You know what was really annoying when I was a kid? Sandwiches. Sandwiches, every single day for lunch, unless it was one of those rare occasions that I managed to convince my parents to give me money for Friday Pizza Day. If you want your kids to grow up without a lingering resentment for anything …

Kids say the darnedest things, don’t they? But you have to wonder what kids think of the things We say to Them. Like, seriously, are we a bunch of psychopaths or something? Stealing kids noses, charging body parts for things, threatening to eat them. I never realized just how creepy some of the things I …

Last night over Spongebob-shaped chicken noodle soup, my five-year-old daughter asked me the BIG question. She gave me the doe-eyed look that I’ve come to learn means I’m about to impart my vast knowledge of the world upon her. “Mom, where do babies come from?” I choked on a wheat thin and prepared my best truthish-lie. (It’s …

My daughter, if left to her own devices, would eat candy all day, play with Barbies and watch mindless television. Seriously, I get that. She’s a lot like me, and if I don’t have structure in my life I tend to spend the majority of my day playing World of Warcraft and Twittering about it. …

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that if you are reading this, you know someone that treats their child like an accessory. Even if you don’t, let me explain… YOUR CHILD IS NOT AN ACCESSORY! Woah, that felt good. Okay, that wasn’t really an explanation more of a statement …

My daughter is packing for her very first summer camp. She’s 7 years old and has absolutely no use for her mother or me anymore. In fact, if she could reach the freezer door and get her own Popsicles, she might have killed us in our sleep long ago, as is our family’s Sith Lord …

If you are a strong-willed, articulate parent like I am, you’ll no doubt agree that cowardice is for dummy-stupidheads. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re afraid to jab a stick into a rabid dog in the eye there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re smart. In fact, congratulations because you’re smarter than I am. But we …

There is a good argument for every thing you learn in life having value. From the smallest of victories to the biggest losses and even the most mundane experiences; they can all  teach you something about life and how to live. Even though there are many important lessons to take away from all sorts of …

As a kid, I spent a lot of time looking up to my older cousins and wishing I’d been born just a few years earlier so I could hang out with them more (it was either that or hang out with the cousins who were several years younger than me, and that was definitely not …

I’m trying to eat healthier. Stop laughing, really! I am! But it’s hard…especially with all the delicious sweets that seem to surround me during my most vulnerable times. It’s okay, though, because I’m going to plan ahead with this super delicious Strawberry Smoothie & Granola Parfait! Strawberries are so great for you with all that …

A friend of mine called me pretty frantic last week. “I can’t get my daughter to go to school. It’s been happening for a couple of weeks, and I need your help.” Her daughter is seven, in the second grade. You see, I am no expert– but I did teach school for several years, have …

The very existence of our species is based on the survival of the fittest. The forming of tribes. The pooling of resources. The establishment of hierarchy. Whether in the cave, on the battlefield, in the boardroom, or the classroom, four billion years of evolution has proven one thing–the strong might absorb the week. But none …

Winter weather got you down? Snow and ice seriously cramping your style (and keeping your kids home from school and stuck in the house all day)? It’s time to take your revenge the elements – sweet revenge, that is. This Winter Bear Kids Snack might not be exactly what you need to combat Mother Nature, but …

I don’t even know how to start writing this. I’ve started it now three times and deleted it three times because it’s so embarrassing and frustrating and – what kind of a person makes up a kid? This kind. Me. Today I lied about being a mom and the second the lie slipped out of …

Where do all these toys come from? How do they just keep accumulating? I swear I’m living in a less-fun version of Toy Story half the time, and if you have children too then I know you understand this constant struggle of keeping their toys put away and their rooms uncluttered. It just never seems to …

When I taught kindergarten, I used to ring my little teacher bell every time I wanted my kids to change centers (one ding), clean up (two dings), or whatever. It was a quick way to let my kids know what I wanted them to do without yelling over them, and it made me look all in charge and …

Kids and dogs are surprisingly similar. I noticed this the first time a few years ago when I told my dog to sit and my (then) two-year-old niece followed suit. It’s like my eyes opened wide and I realized I had a whole new host of tools for working with kids. Since then, life has …

These Marble Votive Candle Holders are probably the simplest little DIY project you will ever complete. But they look so cute when they’re done that it will be hard for you to decide if you want to give them as gifts or keep them for yourself! If you can bear giving them away, they make great …

If you’re looking for a cute DIY gift idea for someone who loves coffee, then you’re going to want to check out these Marble Mugs! They make for a great Mother’s or Father’s Day gift, a birthday gift for friends or family, or a thank you gift for your child’s teacher done in their school’s colors. …

How many hours a day do you typically spend in your car? If you said “too many,” then I totally know the feeling. Why don’t teleportation devices that actually work exist yet? But I digress…If you spend a lot of time in your car, and especially if you spend a lot of time in your …

Grandparents are so important in our kids’ lives, and growing up with strong family connections can help kids make closer connections to other people down the road. Still, there are some things that grandparents do that drive us bananas. In fact, some of these things can be so intrusive that it can drive a wedge …

Kids are such kinetic little beasties and so many times they learn thing better by doing than by any other method. That’s why Cooking With Kids can make such a difference in your child’s life. Not only are you teaching them valuable life skills that will take them into adulthood, you’re also teaching mathematics, reading, …

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE doing crafts with my kids. It’s even better when you can showcase those crafts around your house for the holidays. This DIY Terracotta Christmas Tree is an easy and cute craft that you can do with the kiddos. You’ll have fun and you’ll have great decorations for Christmas! …

Sometimes fun Thanksgiving treats are hard to come by, but that’s not the case anymore. These Thanksgiving Turkey Pretzels are topped with the most adorable, and delicious, turkeys around that are sure to make everyone’s day! Make a batch for your Thanksgiving crowd, package them in pretzel bags to hand out to teachers and neighbors …

If I drop the Christmas ham on the kitchen floor, the dog eats it, gets sick and throws up right under the tree, I will not let the holidays overwhelm me. If I forget about the Elf on The Shelf and my daughter cries because she’s pretty sure the reason he didn’t report back to …

A lot of things have changed for me over the years, going from a corporate ladder-climber to a writer/stay-at-home mom has been a big one. My love for cheap booze has been replaced by wine or a well mixed Beergarita. Sensible flats now sit on racks where stripper heels used to be and yoga pants take the spot that formerly held …

It’s seven o’clock at night. Dinner has been over for an hour, homework has to be done, baths have to be taken, and it’s almost time for bed…yet, you and your littlest are still sitting at the kitchen table locked in an eye-to-eye all out combat over that one bite of broccoli he refuses to …

The seasons of being trapped inside during stormy, cold weather is upon us and kids are already starting to go a little stir crazy. “Can we go outside?” No. “Why?” It’s raining. “Please?” Because please makes it not rain, right? LOL! It’s okay, just because they’re stuck inside doesn’t mean you all can’t have a …

Are you ready for some football? We are! And to get my kids into the action, we’re making these Cartoon Football Cookies. Okay, truth is I don’t give two flying figs about football and every Sunday I disappear into my bedroom with a good book and a strong set of noise canceling headphones. Still, it’s …

Every mom has lived through this: that moment where we just want a little time alone and we know it’ll never happen. For some of us, it’s hiding in the bathroom with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. For this mom, it was hiding in the pantry with some Twizzlers. For all of us, the …

What did little King Tut say to his babysitter? I WANT MY MUMMY! These Screamin’ Mummy Pretzels so fun to make, and your kids are going to roar with delight watching them come to life. These are perfect for that Halloween party you’ve been planning, or as snacks for your Trunk or Treat event. No matter …

Trunk-or-Treat is a big deal in my town. Cars line up all around the square and pop open their trunks, kids don’t have to run up and down streets in the dark, all is safe, everyone gets candy, and it’s a happy Halloween! These trunk-or-treat ideas will help you have the best dressed car in …

Halloween is coming, and so are all the monsters, ghouls, ghosts, and gross slimy things you can imagine. True confession: We here at Totally The Bomb love gross and slimy. But since you’re here, we suspect you do, too. That’s why you’re going to love these ghoulishly delightful Marshmallow Cream Booger Apples so much. They’re …

When the school year starts, so does…Slumber Party Season! At my house that means a half dozen little girls running around, wearing mud masks, and raiding the refrigerator for snacks. Don’t worry girls, I’ve got you covered. These Peanut Butter and Jelly Bite Size Kabobs are not only super duper cute they’re also practically made …

When I was in school – you know, back when dinosaurs walked the earth – lunch was easy. A sandwich, apple or carrot slices, and milk from the lunch line. Boom. Done. Now, though, it’s like going to school with a plain ol’ sandwich is almost a mark of death. It’s not that my kiddo …

The waterparks have been visited. Sparklers lit. Vacation trips taken. Video games played. It’s that time, folks; time to get kids ready to go back to school. It’s a rite of passage for parents as much as kids, but we here at Totally The Bomb want to make the transition as easy for you as …

Dear Parents: Summer is here and I’m guessing your little darlings are already starting to press buttons you didn’t even know you possess. Next time your kids are chanting, “We’re hungry! We want fast food!” reach for the cabinet instead of the car keys. That’s right, folks, a Toasted Tuna Salad Sandwich is fast food …

I am not a cool person. Never have been. I sat with the misfits at lunch in high school and even played make-believe in the playground rather than cheerleader when I was in grade school. I’m a nerd, straight-up, and I’ve been happy with that most of my life. But things have changed–I have kids now. …

Sometimes you get mad, and that’s totally okay. Sometimes kids get mad, and that’s okay, too. The problem comes when kids can’t figure out how to channel their anger, but this cookie recipe can fix that. So, if you have mad kids, make aggression cookies! I don’t talk about this very often, because we don’t make …

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo! This May 5th celebrate Cinco de Mayo with your kids with these ten Cinco de Mayo Crafts For Kids. May 5th is also known as the Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla in Mexico, a battle that now represents Mexican unity and patriotism. Even if you’re staying home, I’d suggest throwing a …

It’s so important to eat healthy and teach our kids healthy eating habits, but sometimes it’s nice to break away and do something fun, too. These Pop Rocks Pancakes are not only delicious and fun, but also contain less sugar per serving than a single serving of regular syrup. Who says fun can’t also be …

When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up so fast. And now that I’m grown (mostly) I would do anything to be a kid again. I think these 20 Free Printable Cool-Kid Temporary Tattoos do a great job of straddling both worlds: your kids will feel just a little older with them on, …

They’re creepy, they’re crawly, and their handprint Mother’s Day cards always make us tear up. Just kidding, but really, what is it about kids and insects? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that these 10 Insect Crafts for Kids will worm their way into your heart. Seriously, you’ll be bugged by how …

In my house we are all about the unicorn poop. We’ve made unicorn poop cookies, cakes, and even veggie dip! But today we made these adorable little unicorn poop cupcakes! What You Need To Make Unicorn Poop Cupcakes 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup …

I’m about to embark on a new experience: Creating a playroom for my toddler daughter. I want to make it awesome. Like top of the awesome mountain awesome. And I’ve found  25 Ways to Make Your Toddler’s Playroom Awesome! Start simple by asking your kiddo what they want. If they’re talking (which mine is not …

This post has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are that of Totally the Bomb. #GoldfishMix #CollectiveBias Since school has started back after the holidays, I’m in need of some fun, easy snacks. And my daughter came up with a fantastic snack idea that’s both easy, nutritious, and fun–Goldfish cracker Pizza! It’s such …

I love playing with my kids, but sometimes, it’s a lot of sit-and-play and not so much active up-and-play. So, I’ve gathered these 21 Super-Fun Kid’s Fitness Games to keep my kids moving! We especially love to play these games together when the kiddos are out of school for the summer or over the holidays …

Playing sports is all fun and games until you see your child either upset they didn’t win or bragging that they did win. There’s a fine line between being proud and boasting. Raising a good sport can help on both sides, whether they win or lose. Here are 10 tips to help you raise a …