Why did I have children? Yes, they are lovely. They bring joy to our lives, and it’s a privilege watching them blossom into adulthood. I got to be there when they started to crawl, learned to walk, said their first words, and got all teary-eyed as I ushered them off to kindergarten. I smiled outwardly (cringe inwardly) when they had their first crush, and cried with them after their first heartbreak.
I love my children! But … what’s the real reason I had kids? Because there are at least 8 unexpected perks that come with being a parent.
8 Unexpected Perks Of Having Kids
1. Did Someone Say Theme Park?!?
No, you don’t HAVE to have a kid to get into a theme park, but it somehow makes you more legit. I can be all, “It’s the kids fault! They chose to come here and play all day!”
2. Stay at a Themed Hotel?
Yes please! We’re doing it for the kids! They love seeing oversized cartoon characters as big as buildings. I know they don’t know how to swim, but I’m sure they want to at least see the mermaid-shaped pool. They’d probably like watching me swim in it, too.
3. Walk Down the Toy Isle at (Insert Store Name Here)?
Oh, we HAVE to go see what’s new? The kids need to know what they want on their birthday and Christmas lists. Oh look! Cute little stuffed animals … for the kids, of course.
4. Speaking of Christmas …
We have to try out the toys, before we wrap them, to see if they work right! They wouldn’t want a doll that doesn’t sing like it’s supposed to, or a villain castle that doesn’t shoot it’s ammunition correctly! That would just be a travesty!
5. Did You Know There is a New Cartoon Feature Playing at the Movie Theatre?
I guess we’ll have to go see it, because the kids will want to … and I guess we will have to buy the soundtrack, because all the other kids will have it … and we have to learn all the words to the songs so we can sing them as a family.
6. What? There is New Kid’s Show on that Television Station that is Just for Children?
Shoot. I guess we’ll have to watch it with them … you know, to make sure it’s really okay for kids to watch. I mean, they could be playing scary things that would give the kids nightmares.
7. I Guess We Should Pay the Extra Money For the Kids’ Movie Channel.
There are some educational documentaries that come on in between the silly, kids movies. It’s all about their education.
8. Little Stuffed Animals?
I know my daughter will want to collect those someday. I’ll put up a shelf, and start buying them now. Yeah, she’s only six-months old, but I know she’ll want them all when she’s bigger. I better start collecting them for her now!
Okay, I may be exaggerating just a tad, but don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind too! That lego collection has to be justified somehow, and the words to Frozen need to be embedded in my brain for a legit reason.
I love, love, love my kids!! I also like the excuse to stay a kid myself for as long as I can.