Funny

Peeps. Everyone has an opinion on Peeps. There has never been a more controversial topic around the family Easter table that has resulted in so much thrown ham. They are either a perennial Easter favorite or a much maligned “last treat in the basket” candy. Some adults have fond memories of these sugar coated marshmallows …

Remember a few years ago when everyone was Press N Sealing the racks in their refrigerators to make cleaning up spills a breeze? Well, Vicki Suddaby just kicked that up a couple of notches and we haven’t been this excited since we found out we were using our chopsticks wrong. You Can Press N Seal …

My husband and I don’t really do lovey gifts. Valentine’s, anniversary, whatever. He doesn’t care if he gets a gift on Valentine’s Day. I used to care. A lot. Mostly because I’d been taught to care. All those TV sitcoms where the goober of a husband forgot a special day and had to scramble to …

Excuse me a second while I take some medicine and blow my nose. I don’t know where you live, but it’s cold season here. It’s that season where you pile on some warm, comfy pajamas and curl up on the couch. Season 3 of Gilmore Girls isn’t going to watch itself. Maybe take an hour-long …

Halloween is the big kick-off bash for the ‘Holiday Season’ and boy is it a bash! Between the candy, and parties, costumes, and themes, Halloween has a way of getting under even the most humbuggy of humbug’s skin. But if you’re not quite there yet, there are some really fun movies that will get you …

What does Voldemort use Twitter and not Facebook? Because he only has followers, not friends. If you rate that joke a 9 ¾ out of 10, you can count yourself as a dedicated Harry Potter fan. And as a dedicated Potter fan, chances are you’ve read many inspiring Harry Potter quotes, such as, “Happiness can …

It’s the end of Summer now. Time to wake up early, shove those kiddos into their brand new clothes and hand them their backpacks full of glue sticks and yellow plastic folders. You wave a tearful goodbye as they board the school bus. As you close the door, you weep. Not because your baby has …

Baby keep you up all night? Toddler refuse to walk faster than a glacier? Sometimes the best way to survive is knowing someone else is out there being tortured too. Here are twenty stories from the parenting trenches guaranteed to keep you sane for at least five more minutes. 20 Tweets From Hilarious Parents The anti-theft system …

An unnamed Texas woman is being criticized for feeding her daughter a shocking amount of bread each month – over 100 slices. She defends this strange diet saying, “My daughter is growing like a weed and her doctor thinks she’s healthy, so what’s wrong with that?” Before she started this diet, the woman says her …

Being a parent means a lot of things, but one of the big ones is finding yourself watching episode after episode of annoying cartoons. It. Is. Tedious. And for many of us completely unavoidable. Kids like what they like and as a parent it might seem like you’re just along for the ride. The very …

We have two pregnant women in my family right now. One who’s an old pro at this (baby #3) and one who is experiencing her first rodeo. The old pro is breezing through things as expected, and the newbie is asking some, well, prying questions. We love them both, but it turns out there were …

I’ve got so much stuff to do. I should be working on my manuscript, working on my pitch for said manuscript for an upcoming writer’s conference, tackle various freelance design jobs, organize a class I’m teaching at a said writer’s conference, keeping my house at human occupation levels, and oh yeah, I’ve got an 8-5 …

My dog Bosco watches television. Not just a few minutes here or there, but the whole show, and he has his favorites. He’ll sit in front of it so close I’m almost concerned about his eyesight, especially after my Mom used to tell me, “Don’t sit so close it will hurt your eyes.” Will it …

I don’t care if my husband watches porn. Like at all. Well, I mean, not while he’s driving…or when he’s supposed to be taking out the trash. But if I’m not home and he’s got a spare minute? He’s welcome to peel his own carrot. Now, for some of you this is a non-issue. Of …

My brother got married last weekend. I’m so happy for him! His new wife is super cool! I was my brother’s Best Grooms-Lady so I had to look snazzy. The day before the wedding, my then sister-in-law-to-be and I treated ourselves to a mani and pedi. I’d never had fake nails before because I was …

My family are idiots. I honestly don’t know how they’ve survived this long. They don’t have the basic life skills that I learned when I was young. I mean, I can be lazy. Sometimes I’ll even sleep the day away if I find a nice sunny spot. But my family takes it to a whole …

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and while many on Twitter are bragging about their romantic plans or lamenting the lack of a date, these fine men and women know what we really want — to be entertained.  I’ve compiled 21 thoroughly wacky tweets about love, dating, and massive exasperation guaranteed to make you laugh. 21 Funny Tweets In …

This is the movie I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Okay, maybe not my whole life. Maybe just since I saw Breaking Bad. In fact, ever since I saw Breaking Bad I’ve imagined Walt in all of Bryan Cranston’s roles. I can’t help it. He was That Good. But with Why Him coming out, …

It’s time for that whole New Year Resolutions business again, and I’m pulling out the old classics. New year/new me. Gonna try to make this a year of taking care of myself and making sure I do things right. That means more water, more veggies, and more dancing. Maybe less kissing bad boys. Maybe…I mean, …

In the last few years Santa Claus’ darker half, Krampus, has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity. The delightful half goat, half demon punishes where Santa Claus rewards. But he’s not the only other Christmas time folklore figure that kids can look forward to a visit from this holiday season. The History Of Krampus’s Gal-Pal, Frau …

It’s hard to stay in the Christmas spirit. Between the shopping, and baking, and kids being home from school, and inlaws coming to visit (oh, good LORD, the inlaws), you can slip from “Merry Christmas To All” to “Get the Heck outta my kitchen before I deck your halls” pretty darn quick. Plus, with the …

Every year we go through the same thing: I put up a Christmas tree; my animals do everything in their power to take it down. I’d say it’s the circle of life, but the truth is this is more a battle of wills between me and those little furry beasts I call pets. It’s like they’re …

While perusing Reddit the other day I came across a post asking “What is one seemingly inconsequential decision have you made that changed your life?” Many of the responses were along the lines of randomly deciding to be nice to the new kid and thereby making a new best friend for life. Another recounted the …

Yet another year has zipped on by, leaving us all in much the same position we were 365 days ago:  wondering if it’s technically a “regift” if you only touched the packaging twice, hovering over our bank balance like a hawk, and dreading the inevitable racist comments from Grandma.  But we tolerate it, because the …

We all have those things that we accumulate that we will use some day. Sure it’s been in the back of the closet for 5 years, but you will definitely repair it one day even though you’ve already bought a new one and haven’t thought of the old one in forever. But please, take it …

There was a time in my son’s academic career where he wasn’t exactly a model student.  He was easily distracted and quick to frustration when something wasn’t going his way.  Knowing that this behavior was affecting his work in class, I didn’t think much about it when I got a message that he would need …

It’s October (FINALLY), which means two things: Halloween, and the return of The Walking Dead. I wish I could say I was more excited about Halloween, but I’d be lying to everyone. I’m All About TWD. But I’m also slightly twisted, and just a little bit off, so the other day (okay, probably more like …

Your Life Until Now Has Been A LIE! That’s right. Your Nana’s a liar. The grocery store is a liar. Even freakin’ Starbucks has been LYING to you. And you’ve been eating it up. Literally. I Hate To Break It To You, But, Your Pumpkin-Flavored Everything Isn’t Even Really Pumpkin Every year you wait in …

LuLaRoe Shirts are awesome, and the LuLaRoe Randy is one of the shirts that people ask about most of the time. That’s because the sizing on the LuLaRoe Randy is a little different than the others. Let me tell you all about it! So far we’ve covered what LuLaRoe skirts are and why people feel …

Everybody lies to you when you’re a kid. Doesn’t matter if it’s “Santa Claus is coming” or “this medicine tastes good”, or even “you can be whatever you want when you grow up”. It’s all a manipulative pile of deceit. And you would think that when you grow up the lies would stop. You know …

Did you ever wish you could live in the world of Harry Potter? I know I have. Even though I’m a 34-year-old woman with a kid, I’ve always been drawn to the world of Harry Potter. If you’re like me, I’m here to say that reading the books, watching the movies, or going to Universal …

‘Twas the night before school and all through the house, “Not a creature was stirring, not even a… (Who am I kidding the kitten’s going bonkers with a paper towel roll and the 15 year old just snuck into the kitchen for a snack.) “The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions …

Ladies, you know I’ve raked our men-folk over the coals in a blog or two. I guess you all liked that because it gets shared a bazillion times. Right now a wife in China is reading my posts and thinking…well, I don’t know what she’s thinking because I don’t speak Mandarin. But you’re not perfect, …

Kids say the darnedest things, don’t they? But you have to wonder what kids think of the things We say to Them. Like, seriously, are we a bunch of psychopaths or something? Stealing kids noses, charging body parts for things, threatening to eat them. I never realized just how creepy some of the things I …

There’s something about animals that make even the gloomiest day seem brighter. These animals take that a step farther by being the most adorable you can imagine. Sure, sure, your puppy or kitten is WAY cuter, but until that pooch or cat has done the splits between two flowers, it’s still got a little work on …

Reddit User Obviousplant knows how to troll. On his (her? Who knows…) recent trip to the L.A. Zoo, Obvi decided to leave some fake Animal Facts for the patrons. And they are hilarious! Take a look! Bear-y funny… Now that’s just ducking hilarious! Damnit, Phillip! You’re making us all look bad. Gibbon a choice, I’d …

Queen Elizabeth is delightfully pretty in green in her birthday suit, but as many others have discovered the chroma-green coloring is Way easy to manipulate. Remember this weather forecaster? Well, here is Queen Elizabeth in her original outfit… Great, right? Now here she is after the internet had a royal field day with her outfit… …

Kids are sweet…and sometimes terrifying. While we love when they say the darndest things, sometimes the things they say make us want to check our bedroom locks a few extra times at night. Take this mom… Her daughter was given a simple assignment in school: If you were a superhero, who would you be and …

My daughter’s book was Pinkalicious, I probably read this book a hundred times, so when I saw this woman, Abi Shenton, who confused a Lush bath bomb for soap turned all over neon pink…I was reminded of PINKALICIOUS, the girl who ate too many pink cupcakes and turned herself PINK! Poor Abi, she got that bright pink hue, and didn’t …

Kids and dogs are surprisingly similar. I noticed this the first time a few years ago when I told my dog to sit and my (then) two-year-old niece followed suit. It’s like my eyes opened wide and I realized I had a whole new host of tools for working with kids. Since then, life has …

Anyone who loves dogs has probably spent a fair amount of time with their faces stuffed into their dog’s fluffy, soft fur. It’s one of our favorite things to do. I mean, here’s this creature who wants nothing more than to love us, and he’s like a warm, cuddly teddy bear who sometimes chases squirrels …

Babies are funny, and they pick the absolute craziest things to be picky about. Like, if you’re at the park with your kiddo and they find a worm on the ground, chances are they are going to pick up that worm, and eat that worm. But if you try to feed them a spoonful of …

Most of the time being a hamster is pretty easy. You eat, sleep, run on the wheel, poop on a little girl’s hand, then do it all over again. Not such a bad life. But even hamsters have bad days every once in a while… While enjoying the ‘run on the wheel’ part of his …

The absolute best thing about little kids is that you can not control what comes out of their mouths. And the guests at this wedding learned that first hand when this tiny guest decided she wanted to toast the bride and groom. Surrounded by adults, some brave soul hands this cutie pie the microphone so …

Not having anyone to play with is a rough thing for a kid, but this kid has a plan. While playing soccer in the backyard one day, he realizes his victory is a bit hollow because there’s no one to actually play ball with. But that’s okay because he knows just what to do. Take …

At some point in your life you’ve probably had a washing machine that didn’t work as well as you’d like it to. Maybe it was off balance, or old, or maybe you just shouldn’t have put those tennis shoes in it. Whatever caused it, that thing made a RUCKUS! And you roll your eyes, and …

Some people love Christmas, but we’ve all got that one friend who REALLY LOVES CHRISTMAS. That one perky person in our lives whose eyes are bright and shiny year round and their optimism could brighten a funeral… When Christmas rolls around, it’s like GO TIME for that person. And while some of us drag out …

Ace the Yellow Labrador is in training to become a guide dog with Guide Dogs of America. Recently he had the amazing opportunity to visit Disneyland and meet with Pluto, one of Ace’s heroes. Ace’s visit to Disneyland was a socialization experiment, a part of his training. His trainer, Sandy Steinblums, says that the objective …

All pets have their own talents that they like to show off for treats. Each and every one of them have their own little habits, but that’s why we love them. Well here we have an interesting raccoon that is really obedient that will definitely make you let out at a least a little awe. …

Almost everyone who has had a sick day off of school or work at some point has seen Family Feud. And if you’ve been watching in recent years, you’ve seen the kind of antics Steve Harvey has brought to the show. Still, for all his craziness, sometimes the contestants take his crazy up a notch. …

You know what I was thinking about while I was watching the new Live Action Beauty and the Beast in the theater? Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a Deadpool parody of this. Okay, I didn’t actually think that, but Thank Goodness this guy did! Deadpool is MADE for musicals. I had no idea …

69 years old. That’s how old the man who was dragged off the United flight was. Sixty-nine and a married grandfather. An internal medicine specialist. And watching United get roasted over the open coals of public opinion for what happened is hopefully only the beginning of a BUNCH of changes that HAVE to be made. …

Okay, I’m just going to say it…I love Ryan Reynolds. Like, love love. Like, I want to have ALL the babies and I would seriously consider becoming vegan if he simply asked. Okay, wait – that might be a bridge too far, but ALL the babies is definitely on the table. He cracks me up …

Something rarely talked about is the problem of “Beast Erectile Dysfunction”. BED, for short. It’s a common problem amongst those who have been cursed to live as a beast until their true love comes to save them, but something that isn’t talked about. After all, who would fear a beast who can’t ‘get it up’ …

A lot of things have changed for me over the years, going from a corporate ladder-climber to a writer/stay-at-home mom has been a big one. My love for cheap booze has been replaced by wine or a well mixed Beergarita. Sensible flats now sit on racks where stripper heels used to be and yoga pants take the spot that formerly held …

This state trooper was understandably concerned people didn’t know what the little stick next to their steering wheel was used for, and I can’t blame him. Having lived in Texas for my entire adult life, I can tell you I’ve seen more people who have no idea what that stick is for, than those who do. …

So I don’t know if you ever knew this, but Thor had a roommate. Yeah. During Captain America 3 Thor decided to take a vacation and moved in with a guy in Australia named Darryl. Take a look! Well, it’s been a while now and apparently living with a God isn’t as easy as we’d …

Maybe it’s all the 50 Shades Darker hoopla, or maybe the naughtiness of the holiday, I’m not sure…but Burger King is offering an ‘adults only meal WITH adult toys’ for Valentine’s Day. Talk about Burger Kink! These meals, for 18+ only, and only after dark, come with two burgers, two drinks, two fries, and either …

Not gonna lie, The Ring scared the living bejeezus out of me. Like, more than scared. Like, I might have had a bit of a complex about the television after. So the new movie Rings is coming out, and to advertise it they decided to pull a store prank where the character from The Ring …

Sofia Coppola has a…style…and I guess I didn’t even realize that until I saw this fake promo for a fake movie and was like, “I WANT TO SEE THAT!” Okay, yeah, so Sofia Coppola might have a style I like. And it’s crazy and weird and seeing The Little Mermaid in that style is crazy …

The Princess Bride is by and far the best movie to have ever been made, ever. When I was a teenager, I had the entire movie from the opening sound of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” all the way to the ending song “Storybook Love” memorized. Every word, every pause, every single bit of …

When it comes to childhood memories, some are great  – like those times you got an extra gumball out of the machine, and some are not so great – like those times your hamster kept getting stuck in the couch and no one could find him. For most, the first animated movie they went to …

If you’ve not been living under a rock, you know that The Walking Dead is coming back on tonight. And chances are, you’ve seen all the episodes in all the season and you’re just waiting anxiously to see who Negan picks for batting practice. But, even with all you know about TWD, and everything you …

I love dance videos. I’ve watched every season of So You Think You Can Dance, and even though I don’t love it as much, every season of Dancing With The Stars. I always watch America’s Got Talent, because I know there’s going to be some amazing dancers on there, too, but of ALL those shows …

The waterparks have been visited. Sparklers lit. Vacation trips taken. Video games played. It’s that time, folks; time to get kids ready to go back to school. It’s a rite of passage for parents as much as kids, but we here at Totally The Bomb want to make the transition as easy for you as …

Hmmm… what do you think? Think it works? Why are kids not allowed cell phones anyway? We all know they have them…. why don’t we just let them? Techno-savvy UK pupils have recorded the ultra-high sound – audible only to under-20-year-olds – from the ultrasonic device Mosquito onto their cell phones – and are now …