20 Tweets From Hilarious Parents

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Baby keep you up all night? Toddler refuse to walk faster than a glacier? Sometimes the best way to survive is knowing someone else is out there being tortured too. Here are twenty stories from the parenting trenches guaranteed to keep you sane for at least five more minutes.

20 Tweets From Hilarious Parents

Watch out, those things may attract starving artists.

This guy knows how it’s done.

Even the cat thinks that’s gross.

This sounds a lot more fun than waiting to catch a ball.

This kid should be a lawyer…

…and defend this kid.

Right?! And then there’s the, “No I don’t want a drink, WHY ARE YOU TAKING MY DRINK?” epic freakouts.


This honestly makes me feel better about my life.

It’s like a game of chicken where everyone loses.

Gotta watch out for those knees!

You are not alone.

And a male emoji whose kid just stomped his nuts.

And stop at every crack to jump over it, especially on sidewalks.

I’m sure there are lots of other important things to do, like clean out the cookies by eating them or stress-test the springs on the couch by sitting on them motionless for hours. Or both at the same time.

Creative parenting at its finest.

You know, this wouldn’t have happened if he’d just hidden the candy in the first place.

“Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom mom mom mom mom!”


“I forgot.”

MacGyver in training. Get that kid some paperclips and chewing gum.

This would make a great movie.

I hope she did a victory lap for that one. She earned it.

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