Am I The Only Mom Who Always Seems To End Up In Tears On Mother’s Day?
To start with, this post is probably going to make me look horrible. I swear I’m not. I love my kids. I love my husband. I love love love my family with all of my life and every fiber of my being. But…sometimes it’s a bit much.
I mean, the whole family and life and commitment to taking care of other human beings 24/7 thing. It’s a lot.
And you’d think Mother’s Day would be validating, and wonderful, and give me every bit of the bump I need to keep on mothering, but instead, I inevitably end up in tears sitting in my closet with a pint of ice cream and a head full of ‘what if’s’.
Seriously, am I the only mom who always seems to end up in tears on Mother’s Day?
Am I The Only Mom Who Always Seems To End Up In Tears On Mother’s Day?
It usually starts out like this: the kids come into the room, ushered by my husband, and they’ve made some sort of breakfast for me. My husband, because he’s a man and doesn’t think everything through, has decided to let them make it themselves.
So then I end up choking down scrambled eggs that are more shell than egg, and toast that has some sort of grit on it…plus cat hair. I’m guessing it fell on the floor. I’m guessing they picked it up and put it back on the plate.
And I’m grateful. I’m so grateful that they thought of me. Their smiling happy faces are shining down at me, expectantly waiting for the, “It’s wonderful! Thank you so much!” And I give it to them.
Then I get out of bed and it’s time to tackle the disaster that is the kitchen. Again, my hubster could have intervened, but he’s off mowing the lawn now and probably didn’t even notice the scrambled egg that dripped from the counter into the silverware drawer, managing to somehow hit every single piece in the process.
That’s what dishwashers are for though, right? So I clean. It’s my special day, after all!
And again, so grateful. So so grateful. The kids are happy, and healthy, and thoughtful and – wait – where’s the dog?
Part of surprising me for breakfast meant they decided to lock the dog in the utility room so I could eat my egg-shell omelet in peace. The utility room that also houses the cat litter box. I open the door and the dog streaks out of there like someone lit his tail on fire.
A quick glimpse inside confirms my fears: used cat litter now covers every bare surface of the floor in the utility room.
I grab the broom and mop so I can take care of this mess now, too.
“Mom, can I go to Posey’s house?” the oldest hollers. “Her family’s going to the water park for Mother’s Day.”
Sure, why the hell not? Posey’s mom just had twins and is already back into a bikini-ready size 2.
I’ve been carrying around baby weight for the better part of a decade.
I’m not bitter, mind. I love my life. I love my family. My daughter made a ceramic something-or-other in class and gave it to me after school. I’m not sure what it is, but it has “mom” written on the side, so I’ll cherish it forever. It kind of looks like a boob. I don’t think it’s a boob, but that’s what it kind of looks like.
Kitchen’s clean. Utility room is clean. And now the husband has stopped mowing, so that means it’s time to vacuum the grass clippings up off the carpet from when he wandered back inside.
It’s not noon yet and I’m exhausted already. I just wanted to sleep in. Is that too much to ask? I’d love a Mother’s Day where everyone goes away for the day and I’m left to the peace and quiet of my house and maybe a bath and maybe a cocktail.
But I’d hate that, too. Mommy guilt would kick in and I’d hate myself for wishing my family away on my ‘special day’.
Which is how I always end up in tears on the closet floor: it’s my day and I find myself in this ever-present tug-of-war between loving my family and wishing they’d just leave me the hell alone.
What kind of mommy am I?
My son comes up to me after the daughter has left. “Mommy, since we made you breakfast can we have McDonald’s for dinner?”
The food is awful for him, but at least I won’t have to clean. “Absolutely.”
In a few hours I’ll be regretting that decision. And the decision to let my daughter spend my special day with another family. And I’ll feel bad for being mad at my husband for not helping out more that morning even though he went out to mow the lawn without me having to say a single word about the knee-high grass in the backyard.
There’s so much pressure put on this one day that it’s no wonder I always break. But for right now my son’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes that came from his dad and he says, “Thanks, Mommy. You’re the best.”
And even though I’ll hate myself later, in that moment I really do feel like I’m the most fortunate mom in the world.
Loved reading this, especially today. Let’s just say, Mother’s Day is a day of good intentions. I’ve spent the last few weeks planning my husband’s birthday, dad’s birthday and kid’s birthday plus gifts for other friends birthdays. I was just hoping for a peaceful day, and it quickly turned to a disaster when my husband thought my parents were coming earlier than was originally planned (there was some uncertainty with schedule and other things). All kinds of arguments and complaining. Like, the complaining is still happening and it’s end of day, lol.
I’m tired.
I feel for you other momma’s who were stressed today. But you are not alone!
The spouse doesn’t even acknowledge thatbit is Mother’s Day. Just another day
You are not the only one. My husband always manages to start a fight with my kids every Mother’s Day because he doesn’t want to change his agenda to accommodate their ADHD, not does he ever plan ahead.
Mother’s Day here is spent at the kids sport games. No sleep in, no breakfast in bed. I cant stay home as that would make me a terrible mum for not going and supporting them. If I’m not watching their sport
Im working. In the 18 years of being a mum hubby’s remembered maybe 4 times. Ive given up on Mother’s day. I dont look to celebrate it, to do anything. Same
With birthdays, anniversaries (also our sons birthday). There are no “special” days here.
The month of May is bittersweet for me. My anniversary, birthday, and mother’s day is a 123 punch. Then comes May 16. The anniversary of my mother’s death. I lost her when I was 24, 3 months after having my 2nd child. It used to be my birthday was hard because I missed her most then. Now, she has been out of my life longer than she was here. Treasure what you have no matter the day. A calendar shouldn’t be the reminder.
I’m a stepmom and help the kid pick out presents for the biomom to give her on Mother’s Day. She used to make me art projects from the time she was 10 until she turned 14. And now I’m just forgotten about. I used to go with my husband to his family’s Mother’s Day things for his grandmother and his mother and I would see everyone around the table smiling and laughing, but I felt so alone. This May, I took in one of stepdaughters friends who was in a bad situation and I expect the same treatment tomorrow to be the forgotten about mother who has taken her to school, picked her up, taxied her and her friends to different places, showing up at her events. I’ve had to spend Mother’s Day at places she wanted to go and she’ll text my mother in law happy Mother’s Day and have yet to get anything. So I’ll probably be in the same boat as you crying the day away from being the mother I didn’t have to be.
I feel all your pain. This year as many years past, I am alone. My family are in another state, too far to travel for Mothers Day. (Before Covid hit, even worse.) With luck I will get a phone call saying, “Happy Mother’s Day.” “Love you”. Brief as it may be. I remember those mornings with an attempt to giving me a ‘breakfast in bed’ and then spend hours cleaning up the mess. I can honesty say, I miss it all. So to all who are having a wonderful Mother’s Day in Bed breakfast, Congratulations to you for having the experience. You will miss it in your “Golden Years” after all have left the ‘nest’. Just all part of the ‘j o b’ of being a Mom!
I feel your pain. I work part time and also stay home with the kids every single day doing virtual learning with them and everything under the sun with them. Sometimes it is a little much. Having some time to yourself really does help. Maybe try going on a girls night out or a datenight. Or even asking your husband to take them out for a couple hours. There should be no shame in that. Everyone had a breaking point and everyone knows that moms do the most. For every family. Take care of yourself physically and mentally because ultimately, taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family. Your kids will also be happier and healthier mentally if they have a happy mom, vs an unhappy one. Sending love!
My husband did a lot for me today, breakfast, hugs, and all. Even took us all to a walk by a lake.
Then ended it with a conversation about how if he was a sahd, the house would all be in order and the kids well behaved. Among lots of other things. Sahdads are much better at this he says, and women say it’s hard just to complain and feel better about themselves. Just had a huge fight, bigger than we’ve had in ages. Should’ve just nodded my head and kept my mouth shut. Happy Mother’s Day I guess
The problem is that you believe it’s your special day. It’s not. It’s a gimmick. So you now have expectations. Expectations It should be amaizing , and end up feeling like you do make the cut. And all resentfully. Well really it wasn’t about you. It was about some company that wanted to make more money out of people and just came up with it.
I know , I sound jaded but that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. Today I will have a normal mom day. And if I get blessed with anything great if not not bothered.
I’m a single mom. And I would have to organise it all myself. This year I just decided I am own boss. Right? I don’t have to cause this kinda stress for my self. And cancelled it. No mother’s or children where harmed in the process of this decition. I considered it kindness towards myself.
Happy mom. Happy day.
=Happy mother day.
Sheree.
I am so glad I am not the only one. I know I will wake up to cook breakfast for me and the kids. Daddy is working. I will spend the day trying to get them to clean up their rooms as I tackle the laundry for the week. I will also take care of all the dogs as usual. Them daddy will come home and will grill something. We will eat and smile. The kids and hubby will give me gifts. I will then get the kids to take their baths and go to bed. Hubby will walk off to bed and leave me there to clean up all the dinner mess and finish the last of the laundry. I will inevitably end up going to bed past midnight again. The final moments awake crying quietly because I am just tired of being tired. And also feeling the guilt of wishing I could’ve also just had a day where they just left me to sleep, which I get so little of.
I absolutely dread this holiday every year. I am so glad I’m not the only one. Thank you for the validation.
Absolutely Positively – You’re totally speaking for me as well!!! I especially feel the “leave me alone” thing – but then the guilt kicks in. YEP – that’s a mom’s life!
my mom says she loves mothers day but I guess she hate it then
No, Ben. Some moms actually love Mother’s Day. It just depends their perspective.
ok because me and my girlfriend went in on a ps3
So true:D…really this is what happens on mother’s day..i love the part where kids ask for mcdonalds..my daughter does the same thing..lol
I completely hear you, although the breakfast part will be covered after church by my hubby, I’ll inevitably will be left with mess after mess to clean up. I’ve already requested a mani/pedi and Starbucks for Mother’s Day…here’s hoping!!
A real day off would be bliss for me….I never cry in the closet (big hugs on that one) but, I am inevitably still doing my mommy job on my day. I sympathize totally!!!!