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The Night My Daughter Asked, “Mom, Where Do Babies Come From?”

Last night over Spongebob-shaped chicken noodle soup, my five-year-old daughter asked me the BIG question.


She gave me the doe-eyed look that I’ve come to learn means I’m about to impart my vast knowledge of the world upon her. “Mom, where do babies come from?”

I choked on a wheat thin and prepared my best truthish-lie. (It’s not like she’d believe that stork nonsense, and while I don’t mind skirting the truth–I didn’t feel like it was right to flat out make something up.) “Well, when Moms and Dads love each other, and they think they time is right, they just decide to have one.”

She looked out the window, obviously pondering my words. “Okay, so when you decide, God puts a little baby in a mommy’s food and she just swallows it up then in a few days– Bam*– baby?”

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. I’d gone in with this big plan not to send her completely in the wrong direction on a subject this important. I should correct her, not let her think God sprinkles babies on pizza like Parmesan cheese. “Yup. That’s pretty much it.”

“Cool. Let me know when you decide to have another baby, because I don’t want to share any food with you. I’m not ready to be a mom yet.”

“I’ll do that.”

*Oh yeah, she actually said Bam… she’s SO my kid.


Sunday 10th of July 2016

My sister was babysitting for our cousin and she asked where babies came from. My sister, totally caught off-guard and not wanting to get into a conversation that clearly needed to be handled by her parents, blurted out "Cleveland. Babies come from Cleveland." That was a satisfactory answer for a five-year old...and we still laugh about it with her, 21 years later!!


Monday 11th of July 2016

That is hilarious! Sometimes their questions really catch us off guard. LOL!

Karen Akins

Thursday 17th of March 2011

I love that 5 y/o's have the ability to equate cannibalism with procreation.

Sherrie Petersen

Wednesday 16th of March 2011

That is too funny! Good thing it wasn't a Tell the Truth Tuesday :P

Crystal & Co

Monday 28th of February 2011

My 11 year old asked me if I was a virgin and my attempt to use logic and reasoning totally back fired on me!


Friday 25th of February 2011

Ahahaha, that's hilarious. Parmesan indeed. Heh. I guess I'd better brace for that one.