Kids have bad days.
And that’s okay.
Often times we look at our kids and say things like, “It’s just a missing shoe.” Or, “I know you wanted oatmeal, but we are out of it.”
And we dismiss the fact that, to them, these are real problems, and this is a chance for them to learn to cope with them. When we dismiss them like it doesn’t matter, like what they are saying and feeling doesn’t matter, we are dismissing them as a person.
Look, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT saying that we should make a big deal out of oatmeal and missing shoes. But we have to understand that to our kids it IS actually a big deal.
Boyfriends aren’t a big deal to us because we have marriages. But when it’s your first ever boyfriend and you need help navigating heartbreak, it’s a parent’s job to see that as a big deal!
So, next time your kid is telling you about the fact that the didn’t get to sit by their best friend at lunch, or that their teacher was in a bad mood, listen to them. Talk it through.
Ask them about it, and let them feel the disappointment. Talk about how in the grand scheme of things there are bigger problems, sure… but understand that these problems ARE big to them.
And telling them they don’t matter is only going to make them feel like THEY don’t matter.