Don’t Freakin’ Tell Me How To Raise My Kid

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please read our disclosure policy here

So, I am spending the week at my grandma’s house this week. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandparents–but I’m having to bite my tongue a lot. So, I figured I could just unload on you guys instead.

My kid is covered pretty much head to toe in bug bites, and I blame you. Why?

  • Because when I said “Daughter, let’s put on some bug spray before you go outside and play next to that stagnant pond.” You scoffed at me, and said, “During the day? That’s just ridiculous. Quit being over protective.” So, you made me feel like a tool, and I ignored my better instincts. Now, she looks like a big swollen welp, she had some crazy allergic reaction, and I had to use my freakin OnStar to haul my butt to town (which is like half an hour away) and get her some children’s benadryl.

I get it–you can take the heat and the humidity better than we can, and it’s all my fault because I don’t let my kid play outside in hundred degree weather for hours every day.

  • Here’s the thing, we live in the city, and my backyard consists pretty much of a pool. So, when it’s a hundred degrees–guess where we are… also this humidity is so ridiculous I want to pass out, and since my kid looks like a giant bug bite–it’s kind of getting to her, too. So, when she throws up at the fish hatchery on the vacation bible school field trip, I’m going to go on ahead and take her back to your house. Could you please not make me feel like a butthead about it?

I know you think the country is way better than the city.

  • I seriously don’t give a flying rat’s patootie about that. Stop giving me crap about not living out in the middle of nowhere. My mom did me a huge favor and got the hell away from podunkville as soon as she could, which means I grew up to do things like get a degree and a career– not pop out a bunch of babies at the ripe ‘ol age at 17. I always thought it was the city mouse that made fun of the country mouse in that story… maybe I should read it again, because I think I totally missed the point.

Stop calling my kid rotten. Stop telling everyone she’s spoiled.

  • She’s five freakin’ years old, which means she’s old enough to understand what you’re saying, and you’re giving her a complex. I know I keep buying her toys, but there isn’t really anything to do here, and she’s bored as all get out. I don’t blame her, so am I. I mean, I am glad I get to come and visit, and I enjoy your company and all that, but, seriously, would it kill you guys to get like, an indoor playground around here or something?

I don’t want to pick beans, lettuce, berries, or anything else.

  • Dude, even my farmville crops are wilted–what on earth makes you think I want to go out and pluck some actual fruit off a vine? Also, I don’t think at any point things are going to get so bad in this world that we’re going to have to “guard our crops with a shotgun in order to feed our family.” If worse comes to worse, chicken nuggets are like, 99 cents.

Could you stop forcing my kid to clean her plate, then giving her crap about it when she says she’s too full to eat another bite?

  • I know that it’s wrong to waste food. She’s eats when she wants to eat and stops when she’s full, and I am TOTALLY okay with that. If I was worried, I would do something about it, but she is a normal healthy weight–and she’s regulated that all on her own. Why on earth would I take that from her?

Who the hell are all these people that keep stopping by?

  • And why do so many of them show up before 8am? Have you guys not heard of the telephone?

The news is not appropriate television for a five year old.

  • What the heck is so important that you have to watch an hour of it every day? All they talk about is killings, robberies, suicide and other horrible stuff–can’t we just skip it this week? How on earth does that crap pertain to you. I don’t know what you’re worried about, I am sure it all happens in that evil city you’re always putting down–you’ll be fine. I haven’t watched an entire news program, like, ever, and I am up on current events. I drove all the freakin’ way down here for you, maybe you could do me that one little favor so I don’t have to explain to my kid why some school teacher took her life or whatever the hell they are talking about.

Did you seriously for real just give me crap about the fact that my kid interrupts adults when she has a question for me?

  • She’s hanging out at your church with a bunch of people she doesn’t know, and if she feels like she needs to ask me things like “Where’s the bathroom?” or “Is it okay if I puke in this bush over here?” Then guess what–I am cool with her just asking. You know what, I am cool with her asking whenever she wants, and that’s the choice I have made as a parent. I think it’s beyond ridiculous to treat kids like their second class citizens who have to WAIT until people are finished talking just because they’re smaller.

Whew. I feel much better. Anything you need to get off your chest today? Unload in the comments! (That sounded dirtier than I’d intended)

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. Sad to see this, im sure you will feel differently when your the Grand parent, sounds like you dont see them very often, i hope they don’t feel the same way about the visit’s as you do. I felt blessed knowing my kids had Grandparents the cared enough for them to want to be an important part of their lives. Remember your Grandparents wont be here forever, and your child know the blessing not how annoying it is for you to spend time with them. I am a Mom of 2 wonderful Kids and 5 Beautiful Grandkids, we have our differences, but this Grandma spends an amazing amount of time with them.making memories. cause when im gone thats all they will have. so please see it for what it really is, a blessing!!!!!

  2. I completely get this. In three weeks we are about to head home from the summer as we live abroad at the moment. I have already had complaints that when we arrived at my mums with our then 16 month old I was too tired to do anything because we had done too much with my husband’s family. Hearing this I was internally screaming I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and my 16 month old was getting up during the night several times (which she never heard despite her being in the room next to her???) and then sleeping with us ( we all know how easy it is to sleep with a toddler in the bed) but sure, we had tired ourselves out with my husband’s family.
    Let’s not forget the constant threatening to smack my daughter when she misbehaved. Having to explain time and time again that we have chosen not to discipline our child by smacking but that it isn’t a criticism of her child rearing skills. I think this year will be loads of fun with a two year old who loves a good tantrum and to misbehave!
    ARGHH, I have barely scratched the surface of it all ,☺

  3. I have actually never experienced this. I am way more protective than my mother of course she is always reminding me of this.

    However I don’t let my kids interrupt me, unless it’s an emergency, like the puking or the bathroom. It’s rude to interrupt two people speaking to each other whether you’re a kid or an adult. I’ve taught my kids if you need to say something, or have something to add, say excuse me and then proceed. With 5 kids, if I let them interrupt me anytime they wanted, to tell me it should be their turn on the Wii, for example, I’d never get in a conversation. I also have to admit to some irritation when talking with parents whose children constantly interrupt them, because, hey, my time is limited, and imo, a little more important than say, can I have a Popsicle?

    But then that’s my choice as a parent and I totally respect yours.

    1. @Shawna, I have five kids as well and I feel the same way about interrupting. People should not interrupt period. NO matter how old you are. And with five children, everyone would be talking over each other and no one would be heard.

      @Jamie- I live in Texas as well= DFW area. Grew up in a small town south of here and then moved to the city. What podunktown did you grow up in?

  4. Well, Jamie, how on earth would you know just how bad you were at this whole parenting thing if they weren’t there to tell you?

    *rolling my eyes here*

    I don’t know why some parents/grandparents insist on being so incredibly critcal of parenting styles, life choices, etc. I guess it’s just difficult for that generation to accept that different doesn’t always equal better or worse, it can just be different. *sigh*

    Just keep reminding yourself that they’re old and they mean well. Also? It wouldn’t hurt to remind yourself that elderly abuse is definitely frowned upon.

  5. OMG! I am hyperventilating reading this. (squee!!) My mom is coming to visit next week and she will have this same list of complaints.

    Ugh! Can I come to your house instead?

    What is it? Do they get more surely with age?

  6. It drives me crazy when someone constantly nitpicks and gives unsolicited advice. I hope your rant made you feel better. You’re coming back to the city soon, right?

  7. Hey, I totally understand the “your kid’s spoiled” thing. It drives me crazy. I don’t buy a ton for my kids, but when my little guy gets hurt, I do kiss it better. See, not spoiled. =)

  8. Jamie, some of this I actually take offense to! I agree with some too. I was there about the bugs and even I said during the day, but not quite how you put it. There were 5 kids there and if you felt tours needed spray then you should have done it. You know I am 5 minutes down the road and could have got benadryl from me seeing how my kids is allergic to so much! I think the college and kid talk was out of line. You had parents help you with that. I didn’t so I choose to get a job and make a life for myself that way. I bought a house at 19! So I think I did pretty good. Now we both have the same job as a stay at home mom. On the other hand, I totally agree about the news and you should have brought her home if she threw up. I also agree it is boring there, my kids get bored fast there and I absolutely agree with the food ordeal. I have never or will never make my kids finish what’s on their plate. When they are full they are full.

  9. Ouch. That sucks, Jamie. Here’s a (((((hug))))) and some virtual chocolate and wine.

    As for what I’m sick of – not having any $ (my part time jobs are all off over summer, so I’m broke), and not being in my own house (long story but the short version is that a tree fell on our house, insurance ppl are idiotic jerks).

    Thanks, I feel better! 🙂

    1. @Larissa, Oh man! I HATE insurance and contractors! It takes MONTHS longer every time… you just want them to leave by the end, so you take sub-par work, and it NEVER costs what they say it will. I SO feel you.

  10. Feeling really, really sorry for you right now! Been there, done that, will do it again over 4th of July weekend *shudder*

    Grandpa: “Come’ere, Shorty.”

    Me: “Dad, please stop calling him Shorty. He’s the tallest kid in his class.”

    Grandpa: “He needs to eat more. Here, kid, have a ice cream pop.”

    Me: “It’s 9:30 at night!!”

    Grandpa: “So?”

    Um, yeah. TOTALLY sympathize.

    1. @Morgan Ives, HAHA yes! Or–what my grandpa does, “You be careful in your bed. We got snakes here, ya know.”

      Oh, awesome- next time you can field the awake all night nightmares!

  11. I hate it when my mom starts telling me how to sit and act when around her. I’m all, “Dude, I’m 26 I know what to do”

    It’s funny how people forget that sometimes, your not a kid anymore.

  12. My grandparents are coming to visit for two weeks. I bet my mom can relate to what you posted.

    1. @Reading Vacation, It’s tough! It’s not that we don’t LOVE them, they just make us feel like we can’t do anything right!

  13. So, do your parents read your blog? I’m guessing no.

    There’s a reason I limit visits with my parents to no more than once a month and put time limits on each visit. Thank you for making my point for me.

    Not that I don’t love them. 🙂