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Feeling Hangry? 10 Things You Should Never Do On An Empty Stomach

The less water in the pot, the quicker it is to boil. Same goes for blood when it’s deprived of sugar.

Hangry Caroline

As a contribution to world peace and in an effort to reduce the future prison population, there are 10 things you should never do on an empty stomach.

1).  Shop for groceries.

You’ll come home with three times what you actually need (which will spoil because despite your best intentions, you’ll never cook it) with most of it being junk. Same goes for ordering at restaurants. That dinner portion for lunch might look like a good idea until not even your yoga pants fit anymore. And that’s really going to piss you off.

2). Discipline your kids.

Suddenly a misdemeanor offense turns capital when you want to gnaw off your own leg. So tell Johnny you’ll discuss his missing homework assignment after dinner (and after he’s cleaned the kitchen), when you can have a calm and peaceful discussion about what’s up with him.

3). Shop for clothes.

There are several reasons you shouldn’t buy clothes on an empty stomach. First, the “helpful” (read commissioned) salesperson will seem 0ver-pushy and will get on your last. raw. nerve. You’ll be in a rush, make the wrong choice and end up returning the items later, if you even find anything you like at all.

4). Buy a house.

Homes are expensive. Getting the best deal possible requires a stable frame of mind. You can’t be in a stable frame of mind, haggling with realtors, if you’re thinking about burgers and bacon cheese fries.

Homer Simpson

5. Plan a vacation.

You’ll end up in Italy with a maxed out Visa, double fisting cannolis. Broke and diabetic is no way to live.

6.  Buy a car.

If you don’t murder your salesman or your significant other first, you’ll end up driving home in something that resembles lemon meringue.

7. Go on social media. 

Food porn will just make you hangrier. We all know only 5 Star chef’s and Betty Crocker can actually pull off those recipes anyway. And then there’s the whole commenting on the post thing, which will go south in 5-4-3-2…

8. Drive.

Wonder why road rage is so prevalent? Pack apples, not pistols.

9. Play contact sports.

I know, sounds counter productive. Sports can be an outlet for rage. But blowing off a little steam and breaking someone’s femur are in two different categories. Go flip some tires instead.

10. Watch Food Network.

Because hello? that’s just common sense, which you lack, because you’re so damn hangry.

 

 

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